I am young
There is a difference between mature and wise
But both are rare in a child

I am smart
There is a different between smart and being able to work things out
But both are needed in choices

I am tired
There is a difference between quiet and accepting
But both are always assumed together

I am terrified
There is a difference between helpful and happy
But both are what I pretend to be

I am excited
There is a difference between fear and joy
But both make my heart race

I should not have to choose
I am scared
I am excited
I don't want to go
I must leave
I can't think
I can't breathe
I am hurting my heart

Why should I have to choose?
Why should I live this nightmare?
Why can't I live in peace?
Why can't they leave me out of it?
Why must I be perfect?
Why must it they look at me like that?
Why is this happening?
Why is this happening to me?

Maybe I should run away
Maybe I should let them deal with it
Maybe I can stay
Maybe I will learn to adapt
Maybe everything will be okay
Maybe things will be better
Maybe it'll all work out
Maybe it won't and everything will go wrong

I will miss the trees outside
In the first of spring when they bloom
So lovely every morning

I will miss my pets
Who love me with all they know
And all they will ever know

I will miss my friends
They will be laughing
Without me now

I will miss the kitchen
Where I made more cookies
Than I should have

I will miss my parents
But I will still see them
Every now and then

I will miss the pictures
That cover every wall
And tell the story of my life

But I will find new things
I will carry on
I will improve my life
And for that I am grateful.

Shaking
Heart in my throat
I can't see straight anymore
Too many people
Too loud
Too much pressure
What if I mess up?
It could happen
Would they laugh?
Overheating in my short dress
Starting to shiver at the same time
Been practicing for weeks on end
But what if I am wrong?
What if I do it wrong?
Drawing a blank
What was I supposed to do?
Standing in front
Lights on me
Waiting for my cue
Waiting
One
Two
Three
And THERE
Start playing
Shaking gets worse
I can't remember the notes
I don't know what I'm doing
It's done now
There is applause
I swear I'm seeing stars
Breathe in
Breathe out
Take a bow
Keep going

Fat
Thin
Hyper
Lazy
What else can we be?

Gay
Straight
Black
White
Why must we do this?

******
Pushover
Ice-cold
*****
Can't we just be people?

Crazy
Boring
Pretty
Ugly
I just want to be me.

Stupid
Smart
Geek
Stereotypical
Why do we call each other these names?

Can't I just be a person?
Why is it that no matter what I do
It's wrong?
Conflicting signals all around,
What is a girl to do?
Can't I just be me?
Please?

Memories can turn
To something like a daydream
If you do not think

Do you remember
Sure, maybe, why wouldn't I
Was it really real

Did it happen then
Am I imagining it
Maybe it's not real

Sure I can grin
And laugh at old memories
As if I were there

Maybe I was there
Maybe it was just a dream
A good dream at that

It could be a dream
I doubt I will know for sure
I don't really care

They smile and they laugh
It is like they remember
They remember me

They remember so
It must be real mustn't it
They can't be lying