you made my blood clot,
so slowly and gently,
coagulating beneath your faint touch.

on flaxen sheets of rough cotton
I watched your plants
rolling their limbs out your open window.
they sprawled themselves, unravelling,
yearning for the gentle kiss
of the suns rays.
an almost ****** photosynthesis.
and for you I would sprawl myself out too,
and with the same eagerness
absorb every scent of yours into my flesh,
and drink desperately from your soul
like a cacti in its first summer shower
since '89.

and your final gasp,
with me, but a sponge
for your every metaphoric suppuration,
and literal secretion.
and you were transfixed there,
spurting auras of sin and love.
a final burst of ecstasy,
you soon became my anticoagulant.

you seeped into my bloodstream,
reversing this gentle coagulation.

you leave your body only to look down upon yourself.
all you are is a pill.
small. homemade.
slight pink tinge.

but ya daddy couldn't make you right.
he was too poor and he needed the money quick.
so he found a quick fix.
mixed you up until that spark in you,
the spark people pay good money to feel,
was almost all gone.

but now you couldn't find the spark in yourself either.
you couldn't remember who you were.
and then some chump bought you for a hefty price.
you lay shivering and confused on his mucous membrane
while he waited for your kick, your spark.
he wanted something from you that you just couldn't give 'im.

it wasn't long before he realised he'd been ****** over
by some broke home-pharmacist.
meanwhile, you'd completely lost yourself inside him,
pieces of you scattered all through his bloodstream,
too disfigured to notice he'd driven back up to ya daddy's rugged shack.
kicked the doors in.
splashing kerosene like liquid confetti.

with just one spark ya daddy got dead.
and you were still stuck in his system,
useless.

you'll be excreted soon, like you were never even there.
good good,
'cause they don't get their kicks from people like you.

your soul, that night
had taken on the consistency of flesh,
the way it shivered under
my dry lips.
it began to leak,
moistening the atmosphere.
I was covered in this fluid
secreted from your suddenly
tangible soul.
it consumed me
I was intoxicated.
vision blurred while your soul continued
seeping it's godly elixir all over my body.

When it reverted back to its incorporeal form
and the sticky liquid soaking my lips and body dried to a crust,
we would never be separated from each other,
ever again.

Now listen here kid.
I've got one thing 'ta say t'ya.
Never, never ever step into the limelight.
It is dangerous and you are bound for failure.

Yer a shadow-kid, kid.
The light isn't where ya belong.
You stay here, with us
In the cold dark sterility.
Where the dogs are rabid
and their hair thrives only in patches.
You can try get a taste for tha light,
But in the end you'll come slinking back.
Doe-eyed and blinded,
embarrassed.

Yer a shadow-kid, kid.
The silence, the darkness.
Nothingness amidst everything.
Yer the one they try find,
but'cha gotta slip away,
slip, slip and slink and slide
back into the shadows,
until your skin is as
transparent as your soul.

heavy head, ****** and tired sleep echoes through my corridor head. love, a treasure, buried deep within my x-marked chest; i stuck blades of grass in a picture frame, because everything else went away: like the cleaning lady outside my door, vacuum like a pet dog, pawing at carpet, grooming it with its soft, snuffly nose. mess cleaned and she went away. vacuum like a pet dog, hip-hugging, man's best friend.

lines in the bathroom, lines out the back. waiting and shaking with a crazy laugh filled with warmth like a smile radiating from my muscles. powder leaves the plastic surface, like the cleanin lady outside my door, and her sniffling, snuffling vacuum-dog. ****** into a ten dollar bill, with a whimper and a sigh, the pup hops away with its owner, the cleaning lady off to brush along some other fool's corridors.

on the cold steel, the train slows down, a mile out from the station. up hill, down hill, steam choking carriage, searching for thrill in the click clack, crazy rails of a cool powder train. in the bathroom crushing pills to get you up hill, down hill, with a steam choked carriage and that cleaning lady outside my door, she brought that dog, and he was barking real loud, makin' a fool out of me, in the bathroom of that click clack, crazy powder train. hands scritch' scratchin' on the white sheets, until in a moment, it all crumbles to dust, ridin' on the wind's back, leaving like they all do, like the cleaning lady outside my door, and that pet vacuum-dog of hers.

i have melted with the shadows
and my soul has been
set alight and
espoused with all these
words spurting
from my veins

you can find me where the thorns start to thrive,
in the long grass with the lost footballs of better years,
and childhood memories buried under
thistles and weeds.

you can find me where the path is grown over,
under the tree where a hundred boys and girls
who had once kissed eachother,
will never kiss again.

you can find me in the pawn shop,
among the wedding rings engraved
'I'm yours for eternity'.