you became a home when i couldnt find one.
you became a friend when i had none.
you became a parent when mine left.
you became a mentor when i had no one to guide me.

god im so in love with you.

i feel it in my chest.
in my stomach.
in my heart.
in my feet.
in my mind.
in my hands.

i feel it all over.

can you breathe when you're around me
because i cant breathe when im with you.

my lungs ignite into flames.
and my heart beats with a ferocity like never before.
my stomach explodes with butterflies.

i feel like im dying,
but ive never been more alive.

i tell them we are just friends,
but they look at me like im crazy.

they ask,
"how can he look at you like that and be just a friend?"

what am i supposed to tell them?
that its not the right time?
that it was too much all at once?

they keep asking,
"what are you? you might not be dating,
but its definitely more than friends?"

so i ask you,
what are we?
what are we doing?

this feeling is more than a friendly caring.

i love you more than i have loved anyone in this world.
i so badly want to kiss you.

i want so badly for you to understand how i feel when im with you.

but this something meant for the books.
saying, "they were friends who looked at eachother as more"

stop it.
stop hurting me.
stop looking at me.
stop touching me.
stop.
stop.
stop it.

you made me love you,
and you left.

you made me trust you,
and you left.

you made me promise things i never thought i would,
and you left.

you made me,
and you left.

you promised that you wouldn't break my heart,
but i suppose there are some promises that you were unable to keep.

i will never stop loving you: you promised, but you stopped it.
i would never break your heart: you promised, but you broke it anyways.
i want you more than anyone else: you promised, but that girl seemed to think the same thing.

every time i look at you i promise that its the last time.
every time i talk to you i promise myself that was my final goodbye.
every time i hug you i promise myself that's the last burn i will give myself.
every single time i tell myself there is no more,
but i cant seem to leave you alone.

i think i love you.

how can you say we are just friends?
after all the kisses,
the longing glances,
the lingering hugs.

how can you say we are just friends...
when we touched it felt like fire.

you may not feel the same,
but you acted as if we were more than friends.

you are still my favorite chapter that i keep on re-reading night after night til my eyes are red with tears and my heart hurts from the memories of your lost touch.

he liked her with long hair so she cut it short.

she's got such a good heart. she really does. it's just been broken. a lot.

im not the kind of beautiful people talk about, and sometimes im ok with that, sometimes im not. i don’t want to be the center of the world, i just want to be the center of someones world.

you really think you can sit there and act like you did nothing.
i sat up every night crying over you,
hoping, wishing, praying, that you felt the same.

little did i know you felt the same way about me as i felt about me.
you too thought i wasn't worthy of any sort of love.

i let myself want you.
you're not mine anymore,
but i'm still a little bit yours.
all i do is get over you,
and i'm still so bad at it.

please be careful of their heart. handle it with care, please. a person can only handle so much before they self-destruct. love is a scary thing. it was once said that to know love, you must know pain. they were very knowledgeable. everyone who has known, has also known pain. some knew pain more immense then they cared to handle.

don’t hurt them, or at least do you best not to. their hearts are fragile and broken. sometimes when you look into their eyes for long enough you can see the broken heart that they spend so long in the morning trying to bury so deep. love can be freeing and beautiful, but it can also leave you feeling broken and without hope. love can cut deep. some people were told “i love you” but they never received the physical love that normal follows in suit.

it hurts a lot, loving someone and being stabbed by them. i’ve felt it before, it crushes you like nothing else. it leaves you with a large capacity to love others, but a very small capacity to receive it. i promise you those bad days are worth it. they need you, they want you, they just don’t know how to express it. because the last time they did someone shoved it right back down their throat and made them choke on it. they want to get better, they want to love you with the same intensity that you love them. they wish to feel all the love you have for them, but they are just so afraid of being hurt again. its them to suppress such a love, more than you know. but when they come to terms with it and begin to trust you with a piece of their heart, you will feel more loved than you ever have. its funny how life works like that. the people who were hurt the most know how to love the most. i think its because they know what its like to not feel loved at all and they never want another human being to feel that sense of despair.

i think when someone tells you that you have too much of this or too much of that. its something they actually love about you, but every time they allow themselves to rediscover this, it breaks them. because love can be painful for some who never felt its tender caress. sometimes people were wounded by someone they held so dear that the next person they come in contact with that makes them feel the same way, it hurts with a ferocity that they can’t seem to shake. so, be patient with them, allow them to heal with your love. they need time. you are more than enough for them, they just don’t feel the same way about themselves. people who have been hurt like that, don’t bounce back as easily as some would hope. and that’s ok, its more than ok. they need to take time to heal properly.

i'm not in love with you anymore, i can't be, i won't. but god it sure does feel like it. when i look at you, hear your name, think about you, my lungs collapse in my chest. i feel like i'm dying. and i sure as hell don't want to feel like that anymore. i'm done with us making eye contact and me being the only one that hurts this much. i hate you and that's final.

i'm not the type of person to give up on someone. yes, sometimes i get really mad and upset so i need a minute to cool off but i'll never abandon you. i don't leave people. and i think that's why it always hurts so bad when people leave me.

i felt too much, he didn't

love can be hard for someone who has never felt its tender caress

heres the thing. he was the kind of guy i never allowed myself to fall for. he was the kind of guy to rip your heart out and claim you gave it to him for keeps. sure, he was beautiful and made me smile. a lot. but he also made me feel out of place and uneasy. he always had the right thing to say and to be honest i wished he didn’t. i wished, just once, he would mess up, say the wrong thing at the wrong time. but i knew he would never do that, it was almost like asking the devil to cut you some slack.
when i first met him, he was everything and more. he was tall and handsome, with the most stunning smile. but to me, he could’ve stayed just that forever. i never gave him my heart because i never wanted him to have it. its wasn’t his to take, no, it was mine. for the keeping.
when he told me it was over between us, it hurt, but i almost felt a sense of relief knowing that i wasn’t “his” anymore. but then one day, he walked right back in. with his dazzling smile and dangerously good looks. and that time, he didn’t have to rip my heart out because i gave it to him without a question.
something about him had changed. he was new. when i looked at him, it was like seeing a completely different person. i felt like i was on top of the world when he was around. everywhere he went, there was an overwhelming presence he carried with him.

this isn’t something i want to get rid of, but i think for both of our sakes i need to let you go.

you were a mistake, one big terrible mistake. i thought that i needed you and without you, my world would be meaningless but now i see that wasn’t true. i didn’t need you, actually you were the last thing i needed. i jumped heart first into you. now looking back i hate every second of it.

who said 'please' that made you hate the word so much?
i did.

for some reason its always about what we didn’t forget and not what we did.
no, you didn’t forget those sharp words, but you did forget how to smile.
no, you didn’t forget the feeling of his lips on yours, but you did forget how to love properly.
no, you didn’t forget the stone cold look on their face when they said you weren’t enough, but you did forget how to breathe.
no, you didn’t forget the pit at the bottom of your stomach, but you did forget how to pull yourself together.