i felt too much, he didn't

love can be hard for someone who has never felt its tender caress

heres the thing. he was the kind of guy i never allowed myself to fall for. he was the kind of guy to rip your heart out and claim you gave it to him for keeps. sure, he was beautiful and made me smile. a lot. but he also made me feel out of place and uneasy. he always had the right thing to say and to be honest i wished he didn’t. i wished, just once, he would mess up, say the wrong thing at the wrong time. but i knew he would never do that, it was almost like asking the devil to cut you some slack.
when i first met him, he was everything and more. he was tall and handsome, with the most stunning smile. but to me, he could’ve stayed just that forever. i never gave him my heart because i never wanted him to have it. its wasn’t his to take, no, it was mine. for the keeping.
when he told me it was over between us, it hurt, but i almost felt a sense of relief knowing that i wasn’t “his” anymore. but then one day, he walked right back in. with his dazzling smile and dangerously good looks. and that time, he didn’t have to rip my heart out because i gave it to him without a question.
something about him had changed. he was new. when i looked at him, it was like seeing a completely different person. i felt like i was on top of the world when he was around. everywhere he went, there was an overwhelming presence he carried with him.

this isn’t something i want to get rid of, but i think for both of our sakes i need to let you go.

you were a mistake, one big terrible mistake. i thought that i needed you and without you, my world would be meaningless but now i see that wasn’t true. i didn’t need you, actually you were the last thing i needed. i jumped heart first into you. now looking back i hate every second of it.

who said 'please' that made you hate the word so much?
i did.

for some reason its always about what we didn’t forget and not what we did.
no, you didn’t forget those sharp words, but you did forget how to smile.
no, you didn’t forget the feeling of his lips on yours, but you did forget how to love properly.
no, you didn’t forget the stone cold look on their face when they said you weren’t enough, but you did forget how to breathe.
no, you didn’t forget the pit at the bottom of your stomach, but you did forget how to pull yourself together.