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Silence
Says more
Than a thousand words.

A smile
Means more
Than hours of laughter.

The look
In your eyes
Speaks where words fail.

And a single heart,
Given with love,
Can bring more joy than a whole jar-full.
Caught in a storm,
right in the middle.
I want to get out,
just for a little.

Caught in a storm,
trying my best
to try and fix
this broken mess.

Caught in a storm,
don't know what to do.
All I can think of
is to pray to You.

Caught in a storm,
I'm on my knees.
Lord please help me,
help me please.

Caught in a storm,
surrounded by fear.
I don't want to shed
all these tears.

Caught in a storm,
trying to find
a place of peace
to clear my mind.

Caught in a storm
of thunder and rain,
yelling and screaming,
it only brings pain.

Caught in a storm,
don't want to break
from all the waves
this chaos can make.

Caught in a storm,
I'm trying to fend
off this contention.
I'm starting to bend.

Caught in a storm,
of all this hate.
I don't want this
to be my fate....
Deep breath.
Cold blade against my skin.
Hesitation.
Slow and steady.

Pain.
Blood.
Watching intently as the red fluid
trickles down my arm.

Exhilaration.
Subtle smile.
Addiction.
Craving.

More blood.
I stare.
The soul behind these eyes
isn't mine.

Fading smile.
Hardened heart.
Blackened soul.
Cold gaze.

Scars.
What have I become.
Eyes dim.
Someone help.

No.
Secret.
Tears.
Who am I...
Dear Guitar,

     In the 6 years we've been together, I never thought you would grow to mean so much to me. When I first saw you, I knew you were the perfect addition to my life. There were so many other guitars I could have chosen, but your dark-stained tiger maple surface caught my eye. I was excited to take you home and make music with you until the sun went down.

     Your hollow body and smooth curves fit so perfectly in my arms, and I cannot describe how amazing you look when the sun shines on your brilliant strings. When I played you for the first time, I was inexperienced, so I don’t blame you if you didn't enjoy it. But I admire you for bearing with me as I've learned more about you and how to take care of you.

     I've been through a lot in my life, both positive and negative. You were always there for me when I needed something to take my mind off of things. I remember when I got into an argument, I went into my room feeling angry and upset. Then, I picked you up and the gentleness of your tone took my heart to a more peaceful place. Your sweet melodies always comfort me and help my mind to dwell on better things.

     I enjoy the late nights we spend together, perfecting songs until my fingers are sore. I love falling asleep with the sound of your soothing melodies filling my mind, and waking up to the sight of you hanging on my bedroom wall. I love the different voices you have; gentle when I need them to be, loud and playful when I feel energetic. You express my feelings in ways that I never could on my own. I will always remember the fun we've had together and hope to have you in my life for all time.

I will cherish you forever,
Katie Skarr
Don't bcother
Don't even try
I'm done with you
We're just wasting time
It's all over
I really don't care
How could you?
It's just not fair

Don't bother me
Just leave me alone
Pack up your bags
And just go home
I can't stand to see you
For very much longer
You turned your back on me
So don't even bother
(freewrite- unedited)

What is love?
Baby don't hurt me,
don't hurt me no more.
I cant take the pain,
cant take these games,
And I know
that you don't want me.
You don't want me no more.
So stop saying sorry.
I don't want see your name
on my phones display no more,
it hurts me
and takes me back to what we had.
I know I cant have you
and it hurts,
so baby don't hurt me,
don't hurt me no more.
I cant take the pain,
cant take these games.
Why couldn't you tell me
what I did wrong
instead of just ending it
like a dropped bomb.
'Cause baby that hurt me
and I don't want to be hurt no more...
So many things
Had brought me happiness.
Life was so perfect,
I never would guess..

That it would all change
In the blink of an eye.
My spiritual well
Would soon run dry.

One step off the path
And there I had found,
I was lost in the darkness
Captive and bound.

Wandering down
a road untraveled.
My spiritual self
Was being unraveled.

Step by step
Down the road I went
Not knowing my thoughts
Wern't heaven sent.

So many signs
I chose not to follow.
'Till I stopped at a place;
Empty and hollow.

I knew I was lost,
Needed to get home.
But I chose to stay
In that hole all alone.

For many a night
In the darkness I slept.
The good things in life
Away were all swept.

I laid there asleep,
Alone in the cold,
And planned to stay there
Until I grew old.

Then one day I awoke
and saw no light.
Everything was gone
Not a thing in sight.

What have I done?
To where have I gone?
What kind of road
Have I gotten myself on?

I'm deep in the water,
It's up to my throat.
I need a way
To keep myself afloat.

And from that point on
I knew what to do,
I needed to find
a way back to You.

So here I am
Trying not to sink
Back into the dark,
I'm right on the brink.

And now I've decided
To try harder than ever
To make sure my mind
And spirit don't sever.

I don't want to go back
down that hill so steep.
I need to get myself
Back on my feet.

I know I can do it,
It'll just take time
And strong will power
To not commit a crime.
I want this sadness to go away
And know that everything's okay.
I want to feel loved,
Instead of lost and alone.

It takes me falling to my knees
to confess that what I need
is your embrace
to keep me from crying.

Will you answer my plea?
Come and save me.
I've fallen,
and I don't know what to do.

I'm cold and alone,
Too far from home.
I need you to fix me,
I'm broken.
I’ll never know how much it cost
To see my sins upon that cross.
To bear the weight of iniquity,
To relinquish life for all to see.

I’ll never know how hard he prayed
To beg for mercy from the pain;
Never understand the reason he gave
His life for all the world to save.

His heart was pure, his paths were bright,
He taught us all to do what’s right.
His gentle touch could heal the sick,
Yet he was called a hypocrite.

He willingly chose to take the cross,
Shedding tears for the lost.
His death was meant to show disgrace,
But only beauty flowed from that place.

And in it all he truly shared
Just how much he really cares.
I hope you’ve gained something from this lesson,
But now arises a simple question-

Would you be willing to take his place,
To wipe the tears from his face,
To take the nails from his hands,
To take the place of this man?

Would you be able to give your life,
To save the world from all its strife?
The answer isn’t so simple you know,
Am I able to answer it? I’ll never know...
I'm cold and alone
Too far from the light to feel it's warmth
I need you to fix me
I'm broken.

I can't heal on my own
I need you
To come and stitch these wounds
And make me whole again.

I need to feel the light
Resting on my shoulders
I don't want this darkness anymore
I don't want this pain

I need you to help me
To not fall again
I don't want to disappoint you
So help me back on my feet
As the cold tears run down my cheek,
I think of what it could be like
if we were all happy and got along for once.
I don't want it to be like this
and I know you don't either,
but nobody is willing to change...
The shirt he wore was splattered with gore,
His shoes were soaked in blood.
He couldn't carry the burden he wore
So he killed her just for fun.

But now every time he looks around
He sees her face, a haunting.
He wants to be a better person now
Cause he finds this hobby daunting.

He's murdered many but with each new ****
He is more overcome with fear.
This thing he once thought was a thrill
He can now barely stand to hear.

He tried to get away from it all
But he couldn't flee its presence.
And as he made his way down the hall
Someone erased his very existence.
Lost in the noise
Of this chaotic world
Tired of this life
I just can't ignore

The silent screams
Of the broken souls
They fill my head
Give my heart sores

Why does this life
Have to be so broken?
I can't seem to find
A single place of peace
Nearly on the edge of life,
Offering myself as a sacrifice
To the God who gave me it.

Only, afraid to leave the
Kind people I love
And really care for.
Y**ear after year I am dying inside...
So many thoughts runnin' through my head
So many words that've been left unsaid

Just tip me over
and pour me out

Never gonna live the life Ive dreamed
Never gonna grow, or so it seems

Just tip me over
and pour me out

I'm filled up to the brim, about to blow
Right on the edge, about to go

Just tip me over
and pour me out...
So many tears
have swelled up inside of me,
tightening my throat.
I can't hold them all back.

I'm trying to change,
to make myself better,
but in your eyes
I'm just the same.

You think I'm not trying,
you think I don't care,
but the truth is
I cry myself to sleep.

So many tears
are streaming down my face.
Everything I do just makes things worse,
I don’t understand.

I want this sadness to go away,
to feel loved,
instead of feeling
like I'm letting you down.

I know I'm not perfect,
I don't do everything right,
but I don't need you
to rub it in my face.

So many tears,
I’m sick of crying,
of feeling like everything I do
is a failure.
These feelings,
they're not right.
I want to feel your love
lift me up when I'm down.

I want to feel your support
but all I feel is anger
and disappointment
pushing me into the darkness.

So many tears
have stained my pillow,
begging the Father
to take me home.

Countless nights
of wondering how it feels
to slowly fade away
and leave this place

I don't want this life anymore,
I don't want this pain.
I don’t want these tears.
Maybe it’s better if I'm gone....
Somewhere deep inside,
There’s a place where you reside.
A place of peace and rest.
A place to run to when I'm stressed.

But I've been caught blind,
Because I can't seem to find
A place to call my home.
Why am I feeling so alone?

This chaotic life
Has given me so much strife.
I want to feel your love
Washing down on me from above.
Let's start over
Begin a new life
Take it all back
Throw it all behind

Let's start over
Take away the pain
Get away from it all
I want to start again.
Surrounded by Silence

I look down at his pale, innocent face,
holding his head in my lap.
Red drops fall onto the snow beneath us
as I stare into his expressionless eyes.
Time is frozen.

Eyes swolen with tears, I watch
as the red dye soakes his shirt.
I wish, for just a moment, he would wake
so I could say goodbye;
I know it's too late.

Slowly, I slip my arms around his limp body
and hold him as I cry into his chest,
wishing I could hear the steady beat of his heart.
What did he do to deserve this?
CLICK.

Looking up, I find myself staring at the metal 'thing'
that silenced the man in my embrace.
I hold him closer, hoping to find a sense of comfort,
for I know the tragedy that is to come.
Everything grows dark.

    *She falls over, blood streaming from the hole in her head.
    I stare for a moment, wondering
    if this was really a necessary action.
    'Eh, what does it matter?' I think as I walk away,
    surrounded by silence. . .
Thank you,
For always letting anger get the best of you.

Thank you,
For being such a ******* ****.

Thank you,
For never thinking before you act.

Thank you ,
For repeating all your stupid mistakes.

Thank you,
For letting everyone, including yourself, down.


For breaking promises…


Thank you,
For never learning how to stand back up.

Thank you,
For getting hurt when you fall.

Thank you,
For only caring about yourself.

Thank you,
For being extremely sensitive.

Thank you,
For pushing everyone away.


Thanks so much,
For nothing…
The heart,
       so easily broken.
The mind,
       so easily deceived.
The soul,
       so easily darkened.
    How can we tell
    right from wrong,
    or which path to take,
                Can we ever truly
                make the right decision?
Life,
        so easily complicated.
This isn't a poem but I just wanted to share it. There is a poem at the end however.


Chapter 1: Kenzi


The room is dim. The only light emanating from the small desk lamp in the corner.

“Unhappy with the life I'm living,
Not finding anything to
Wash my ***** slate of emotions
And to keep me from crying.
Nothing to turn to when I cannot
Take anymore of this pain.
Each tiring day I 'm getting thrown
Deeper into the rainstorm.

Trying to find a peaceful way to
Escape contention and get
Away from this life I hate. I
Refuse to cry anymore.
Sunshine doesn't stay with me for long.”


A poem I once wrote. The words ran through my head like a melody.
As I rummage through disorganized desk drawers, I search for a paper and pen. After glancing at the time on my cell phone, 2:11 AM, I begin to write:


“Dear—“

...dear who?...

        “—Everyone,

                          If you are reading this—“


...what do I say in a note like this?...

                “—it means that I've finally released myself from this painful world. I'm   
                          sorry for any heartache that I have caused you and I want you to know
                          that I love you more than anything. Once again, I'm sorry...I'm sorry I left
                          like this.

          Kenzi Mullberry ”




After signing the letter I just sat there, staring contemplatively at the paper.
...am I really going to do this?...

I looked the time again, 2:25. I usually hear the train roll by around 3.
After carefully folding the paper into thirds, I laid it on my bed.
...I hope they see it here...

Peeking out, I slowly opened my bedroom door.

CREEEAAAAK

I froze, listening... All quiet. Cautiously creeping down the carpeted stairs I let out a deep breath of air and arrived at the front entrance. Then, hesitantly, unlocked the door and stepped outside. Standing in the cold night air, I scanned the empty street. Then finally took a deep breath, and started walking.

My thoughts quickly drifted to Adam, my boyfriend.
...would my family tell him about the note? I don't want him to worry...

I took out my cell phone and typed up a text. Staring at the words, a tear rolled down my face. SEND

I checked the time again before putting the phone back into my pocket, 2:43.
...I'd better hurry...
Picking up my pace, I wiped my eyes and then shoved my hands into my sweatshirt pocket.

It was crisply cold out and my pale nose was red and running. A quick shiver ran through my body as the chilled breeze whispered past my ears and fluttered my dark brown hair. I looked up at a car traveling across the freeway overpass. It's surprising that there are still people driving this early in the morning. It's like that saying, "The city never sleeps."
There wasn't a sidewalk on this road so I stayed on the grass, even though there were no cars in sight. I looked to my right as I passed the canal, dry and empty. The irrigation water has been turned off for the winter.
Slowing down, I approached the crossing and my eyes examined the rail line. I could hear the train getting closer. I stepped onto the tracks and could feel them shaking beneath my feet. The train was getting closer and I started to panic as the bright headlight grew and I heard the horn.
...no. I have to do this...
I closed my eyes, embraced myself, clenching my teeth and my frozen fists.
”I'm sorry...”



Chapter 2: Adam


Music ran through my ears.

“...I miss you and it still feels like I know you
I've got pictures of us side by side to show you
But it feels like I owe you so much more

And you will always be perfect
You'll always be beautiful
Our hearts will never forget you
You didn't belong here
And it's become so clear
Why heaven called your name

And it just doesn't seem right, was it really your time?
Are we dreaming?
We'll never let go of you
Wish you were here but it's becoming clear
That Earth's just not the place for an angel like you...”

BZZZZZZ

I paused the music and looked down from the bright laptop screen, picking up the bottom corner of my pillow to reveal my phone.

*               1 MESSAGE:
                 Kenzi

“Huh, what's she doing up so late?” I thought, as I waited for the text to open.

                *Hey babe. i...im sorry...i know i'm about to
break ur heart, but i just cant take it anymore.
When you wake up and see this, i'll be gone...
I Love You Adam <3 im sorry...



“What?”

I re-read the text...

“Kenzi! You idiot–“
I jumped out of bed and threw on my jacket as I burst out of my bedroom and around the corner to the front door. I quickly slipped my shoes on and bolted out, not caring if I disturbed the others sleeping in the house. I had to stop her.
I sprinted across the driveway, knowing exactly where she was going.
She had talked about it so many times before, she'd say, “Adam, I'm so depressed I wish I could get hit by a train.” She'd pretend it was a joke, but I always knew she was being literal.
The air was cold and thin, making my throat dry so it was hard to breathe. I heard the train whistle.
“******* Kenzi...”

I strained to make my legs move faster, they were burning.

After cutting through the park, I passed the cemetery.
“Don't end up there k?...not yet...”

My shoes we're untied, due to my rush out the door, and I stumbled, but regained my balance. All I could think about was running. I could hear the train rumble as I turned the corner and the tracks came into view. I saw her.
“Kenzi!...Kenzi get off!” I was breathing hard and my face stung from the cold. “Kenzi!”

I saw the headlight and knew I wouldn't reach her in time. But I kept running.

CLICK-CLACK CLICK-CLACK CLICK-CLACK TOOOOOOOOT

I finally stopped 10 feet from the tracks. Raising my hands to my head, I grabbed my hair, then threw my arms back down and placed my hands on my knees as I caught my breath.

“Kenzi...you...stupid...” I softly spoke, I could feel tears creeping out of my eyes.

The end of the train finally passed and I jogged over to the tracks. Her body was on the ground, limp; lifeless.
...I can't believe she actually did it...
I bowed my head and closed my eyes, taking in a deep breath of air, then gazed up at the sky in discouragement.

...why did she have to–…

-----------------------------------------------------

*He­ looks into her motionless blood-shot eyes,
and sees something he hasn't seen in years.

A pain so deep, it's stitched into her skin,
leaving dark scars she knew would never fade.

He wants to help, but can no longer feel
The life that once ran through her veins.

The cold has taken over her weakened soul
and left it in the troubling dark of her mind.

She can no longer see, no longer taste
The endless joys they once together shared.

In a world full of happiness and sun
Were only memories of things left behind.

She couldn't see, didn't want to feel, the light
that was softly beckoning her away.

And now he stares at her in a state of something
He knew he could never bare the thought of.

As he kneels beside her he plainly whispers,
“This heart wasn't made for suicide...”
Tears are overflowing,
a heart is aching greatly
The Human Soul being torn,
Ripped into a million pieces.

The Hope is dying
Despair settling in
to the heart of the innocent.
The Darkness is coming,
extinguishing The Light.

I need to get out,
get away from The Darkness.
But it pulls me closer
I can't escape.

I see The Light,
beckoning me away
from The Darkness,
and I reach out
but I can't escape.

I cry unto The Light
pouring out my soul.
Bring me to safety,
pull me from The Darkness.

I look ahead to The Light
The Hope comes back to life,
saves me from The Darkness and Despair.
The Human Soul is safe
in the arms of Salvation.
He looks into her motionless blood-shot eyes,
and sees something he hasn't seen in years.

A pain so deep, it's stitched into her skin,
leaving dark scars she knew would never fade.

He wants to help, but can no longer feel
The life that once ran through her veins.

The cold has taken over her weakened soul
and left it in the troubling dark of her mind.

She can no longer see, no longer taste
The endless joys they once together shared.

In a world full of happiness and sun
Were only memories of things left behind.

She couldn't see, didn't want to feel, the light
that was softly beckoning her away.

And now he stares at her in a state of something
He knew he couldn't bare the thought of.

As he kneels beside her he plainly whispers,
“This heart wasn't made for suicide...”
Trying to find a way, to
Retreat from this world i call
A** home. Stuck with no source of
Peace to clear my mind, all this
Pain has me chained to the
Earth. I'm forever here,
Damned to this earthly existence...
A mother shouldn't make her daughter cry
or bring her pain from the ***** little lies
that she tells just to take the blame off herself
from the problems that she leaves all dusty on the shelf.
There's nothing in this world that can compare
to a mother's love, but it’s just not there.
I sit here crying alone in my room,
just want to sweep my sadness away with a broom.

But I'm scared.
My mother’s just not there
for me when I need her.
So I hide away my feelings, an imaginary creature.

Worthless, stuck under the surface,
another girl thinking she's got no purpose.
'Cause home is not a home when I'm getting beat
by the words my mother says, getting stomped under her feet,
Taken advantage of all the time.
I'm just looking for and trying to find
a place of peace and rest
from my troubles and this mess.
Things aren't the way that they seem,
I just want to get up and scream.
I'm all alone in this world...
What the heck is wrong with me,
I'm really out of my mind.
A billion things that I could say
but just can't find the time.

I never knew it'd end like this,
all broken on the floor.
The only thing I can think to do
is walk right out the door.

A storm of angry words is raging,
buzzing through my head.
But the only thing that's getting out
are words left unsaid.

I need to let it all escape,
but can't force myself to speak.
I just listen to my silent screams
week, after week, after week.

What the heck is wrong with me,
Can't answer a simple question.
All these things running through my mind,
they're feeding my depression.
Hungry
but don't know what to eat
Thirsty
There's nothing left to drink
Cold
Nothing to warm my soul
Tired
Nowhere to lay my skull

Everything's changed
Everything's lost
Broken
Dark

Love
Is nowhere to be found
Friends
Have gone without a sound
Please
Oh God won't you send
Warmth
I fear this is the end
Under an immense amount of stress,
Never showing her true pain.
Holding back unwanted tears,
Already feeling them fall
Past her blurry-visioned eyes.
Praying to regain her strength,
Y**earning for a single source of peace...
Unhappy with the life I'm living,
Not finding anything to
Wash my ***** slate of emotions
And to keep me from crying.
Nothing to turn to when I cannot
Take anymore of this pain.
Each tiring day I 'm getting thrown
Deeper into the rainstorm.

Trying to find a peaceful way to
Escape contention and get
Away from this tribulation. I
Refuse to cry anymore.
S**unshine doesn't stay with me for long.
Why do you have to constantly argue with me?
Why do you have to always be right?
It’s okay to be wrong once in a while
No one is perfect.

Why does everything I say have to turn
Into such a hostile situation?
I hope you know it’s the reason
I never speak

Because every time I do I just get yelled at.
I can’t let one sentence escape my mouth
Without it offending you in some way
Or being 'disrespectful'.

Is it you? Or me….

I thought I knew how to be nice
I thought I knew what to say
I thought I knew why I got in trouble
But I can’t tell anymore.

I just want to help but I can’t
Because when I do it makes matters
Worse than they already are
At least, in your eyes it does.

I don’t see the way you do
I don’t think the way you do
Yet you still expect me to do
Everything your way.
A quick goodbye and before I knew it
We were standing on opposite sides of the world
I told you to fly, I told you to try
to fix the broken things
But you thought you could do it on your own
And now that you're gone
You don't know what you've lost...
Can't I have one day?
Just one ******* day without all the fighting?
Without you acting like a ****
and making me feel like you'll never change?

I just want one day,
One day of peace to get me through.
One day of you being nice for a change
Instead of caring about nothing but yourself.

If you think I don't care,
That it doesn't affect me,
Here's a hint...it does.
Every ******* day of my life.

Just because your attitude isn't directed toward me
Doesn't mean I don't get splashed while sitting on the sidelines....

— The End —