If my slight Muse do please these curious days,
The pain be mine, but thine shall be the praise.

Ignore me
Hurt me
Break me
Shatter me
Love me
Ignite me
And be me
Be love
Be fire
Be tired
Be the battle
Be my warrior
Protect me from all the flames
But let me be the flame
Let me shelter you
In the heat of this adoration
Let me be
Let it be
Let us be

you drilled a hole in my heart
and left it there
     naked
       open
         vulnerable

get your own ******* love life and stop staring at ours.

Those three words have two meanings;
One is a promise,
and the other is the secret that lies in it:
Will I or will I not leave?

Those three words have two endings;
One is forever,
and the other is the pain that lies beneath it:
Will this or will this not end?

how can you enjoy if endings are all you think of?
i dont know,
i guess i never thought
of cherishing every moment
i never thought of having fun
maybe because
i want
hard
painful
destructive*
love

since you already reminded me,
i am going to love you
like i have never been broken

love is a sacrifice.
and sacrifice is the only thing stronger than love.

then you came and words didnt have to rhyme anymore. they just fell in the right scattered places.

i want to ask how you are.

I met her, and then all of a sudden --- God is a woman, poetry has become my religion, kissing is a sin. And I am a lustful sinner.

hey amor
do you know some place
where there are less restraints
and more of you

somewhere amor
where i could hold your hand
without their bullets
without their guns

hey amor
i think i know a place
and it's a huge room
full of nothing but me and you

somewhere amor
youll love it there
i could kiss your eyelids
as you tell me your dreams

hey amor
are you tired of waiting
sorry it's taking too long
i miss you too

somewhere amor
i'll bring you there
we could be lovers there
in someday, amor.

everyday i would receive these pretty things and i would not accept them because i always want the worst

i still wonder why there should be faults when it would not be worth it in the end.

there is something so frustrating about not writing after feeling.

youre wrong when you said no one wants you.
i do. i told you i just cant love nice and pretty things. i always crave for sadness and loneliness. i crave for pain and loss; for gems, not gold. for hell, not angels.

i feel loved, i feel alone. i wish you would come home.

Against all odds, remember?*
from then on, you started talking like all of them.

i know how you look at your friends and thats not how you look at me
i know how you talk to them too
and you cant even stare straight into my eyes
maybe thats why you cant see

i know how you hold their hands
i know how you whisper to them
i dont like that feeling, i tell you
it's just not right to feel something for you at all

it's alright, dont stare.
i watch you everyday sweetheart

how hard is it to be a land, really?
people make wars just to have you

sinabi ko na ang lahat ng gusto kong sabihin
itinago mo na rin marahil ang lahat ng sulat kong nagkalat lang dati sa kwarto mo

tiniyak na nating hindi na tayo mag-uusap
tiniyak na nating hindi na tayo magkikita

ito na ang tuldok sa lahat ng tulang inakala nating walang katapusan.

i dont even have nice words and poems that rhyme;
im sorry i still cant live up to your expectations even if you dont need me to anymore

i forget that i failed my history test
i forget that the door isnt locked
i forget the movie we are watching
and i forget the big things
i forget the small things that worried me
i forget that i am sick,
used to be sick of everything around me,

all i remember is you

i love it when you talk to me
poet to poet,
writer to writer.

today i decided i want to live in your eyes
stay in your arms
and be with your light

I am scared of changing
Scared of not changing
Afraid of my past
Frightened by my own future
And I'm just waiting
and waiting
and waiting
for the dark surprises of my present

I am the monster of my own destruction;
and the slave of my own chaos.

boy, you fill my days with sweet words
and she was right you can do it better
i saw how your eyes shined
i looked at them for a long time
there were roses in a field
i wonder why chaos is what i need
i wonder why your smiles cannot take me away
just like how hers do
i wonder why your touch cannot lift me up
just like how hers did
i wonder why you cannot brighten up the day
just like how she does
i wonder why, you see,
because she shouldn't be different from you,
but she is.

i fell in love with the way i woke you up
i waited for seconds before i did
i wanted to watch you forever
but i needed to see how your eyes flutter

you should never cut your hair
i love the way you run through them
keep them down, keep them
they give me feelings i could not bear

we will go to the oceans, a beach
i will lay on the sand
you can play, after all it is our land
i will know your laugh as i watch

you can wrap your fingers around mine
i'll hold you tightly and scribble signs
this is nothing but real
this is the start of something surreal

you make me lose it all
the sleep, the lies, the sadness
i'd throw away the vices
just assure me this won't fall into pieces

He said *come on
let's drink some more
get out of this place
and watch our feet sore
we'll be young and reckless
i'll bring you into this mess
but i promise,
baby, i promise
that tonight will be your best

my fingers intertwine with yours-
so suddenly that you make it feel like
accidents like that happen everyday.

and maybe i waited for this time,
i looked down on a wishing well,
i kneeled for hours and begged,
whispered words only i can tell

*who am i to ask for your stay
what did i do to have you this way
who am i to ask for redemption
when did i start hurting you this way

you don't have to heal me
not because you already did
but because it isn't your duty

you don't have to make me forget
not because it's working
but because i am not to be kept

you don't have to give me solace
not because you already have
but because just staring at you all my days

- from five distances,
ten hours in twenty-four -

can already make me happy,
can already make me lay down
all the chances
i have on you.

i know you care and i can see it when you stare. you stare for a little while and gaze on others again, but thats okay because i still know you care. you just have to know - and i always let you know - that im not like them. im not sad everyday, i am sad today. i even think this heartbreak would last more than today. today is a long time, you see. im sorry i make you sad and i know that. i tend to do that to people and i hate it.. i'll leave you from now on, if thats what you want. i dont leave unless told, you know me. i hope you'll push me away. i think i can handle that

ngayon ko lang napansin. sobrang dami ko palang isinulat para sa'yo. ngayon ko lang napansin na lahat sila galing sa mga katabi kong diksyonaryo at tesauro. malay ko ba kung ano ang ibig sabihin ng mga isinulat ko. lumalaki pa lamang ako. ngayon pa lang natututong makipagtalastasan, makipagbalagtasan, makipagsagutan, makipag-away. ngayon pa lang akong natututong maghintay at ngayon pa lang nasusugatan. ngayon ko lang nalaman ang tunay na ibig sabihin ng paniniwala. paniniwala sa pagkahulog, paniniwala sa kung anumang gusto kong paniwalaan. paniniwala na meron ka pang mapapaniwalaan dito sa mundo. kapit ka, subukan mo. ngayon pa lang akong nagtitiwalang muli. ngayon pa lang nagpapatawad. ngayon pa lang nakakapagsabi ng 'mahal kita', nang walang pagdududa at walang pagsisisi. mahal ko talaga sila. ngayon ko pa lang nararamdaman ang tunay na pag-ibig. ngayon ko pa lang nakikita kung paano magmahal ang isang taong nasasaktan. ngayon pa lang ako nakakita ng taong durog at winasak ng panahon — marahil dati puro sa teleserye ko lang ito napapanood. noong pumunta kami sa isang museo, napakaraming uri ng sining na maaari **** makita. may mga head busts, paintings, sculptures, pati mga ginamit ng mga pintador na brushes at pati na rin mga natuyong pintura nila. tinignan ko lahat iyon. umabot ng halos labindalawang oras ang pag-iikot ko. walang kain-kain. kinailangan kong makita lahat. ngunit ngayon ko lang napagtanto na iisa lang naman 'yung gusto ko talagang makita. ('yung spolarium.) ngayon lang ako nakarinig ng mga taong wala talagang kamuang-muang sa mundo. 'yung tipo ng taong nakaupo sa ginto ngunit talagang lumaking tanga. nakakaawa sila. ngayon ko pa lang pinapangaralan 'yung sarili ko. kanina nga lang ako nagsabi sa sarili na hindi na ako kakain ng fast food at processed food. (seryoso. nakakamatay talaga sila.) sa pagkamatay ng nakaraan, noon ko lang nasabi sa sarili ko na gusto ko pa talagang mabuhay. gusto ko pang makakita. gusto ko pang makaramdam.

ngayon pa lang ako natututong magsulat.

I remember thinking
how hard could it be?
It could be reckless
It could be magical
It could be mischievous
It could be lyrical
But whatever happens in a day,
doesn't stay in a day.
It goes on forever,
bad or good,
the memories stay with me.
Anyone around me
could easily learn
how to vaporize those thoughts
and move on,
maybe even forget.
Apart from me.
I never do.

I remember saying
maybe this is it.
This is the one for me.
Until reality hits me;
whether I am 12, 14 or 30,
I will find someone
who will light a fire in me,
but they cannot burn forever.
You see, somehow,
I still believe in that word -
Forever.
I still hope for that flawless spark.

What a flabbergast, huh?
That I am, once again,
alone tonight.

the thing is you dont have to tell me
we're going to be forever
you dont have to tell me
we'll always be together

you dont have to tell me youre staying
you dont have to tell me what youre feeling
you dont have to shout your love
you dont have to do anything

'cause baby when our enigmatic silence floats
thats the time when i think of you
and how much of your presence
is actually there

there is something about that moment-
when i first called you for the sake of endearment,
when i met your eyes while i was in front of the whole class -
they were transparent, like looking at a glass

and it was open for me,
whole, not shattered; ignited
it was attracting me to see
it was screaming something that needs to be said

there is something about those butterflies-
you see, i had a first love: poetic love,
but never this romantic;
like everything is real and without lies

but in our skies,
we meet but can never collide.
in our skies, my dear,
you are there and i am here.

i want to love you so much i'd shove all the others away.

tonight i kept on asking myself
why did i worry so much
why do i even care
it should not be like this
it should not be this hard
this is high school
this is love
and this is a game for fools

everything ends
when high school ends

i want to compare
i want to undo
i want to rewind
i want to stop
but
how do i compare
how do i undo
how do i rewind
how do i stop

when i am
deeply
madly
truly
crazily and
clumsily
falling in love with you

i bid these worries goodnight
it should not hurt if you say goodbye,
because of all the pain i have been through,
they should not be different from you

everything ends
when high school ends.

i know that look, dear
you're always seeking
tell me what you want to hear
you are just stealing
some glances only i can catch

like a song of fame
you make everybody sing
and i would definitely be lost
if you let them hear it

know that everyday
i wish i could do better
i wish i could satisfy your worth
in order for this to work
you have to get what you deserve
know that i am yours to love, my beautiful girl

i do care for you
i give you real smiles too
i dont like seeing you sad
i dont like it when you're mad
i dont like it when youre obviously fake
and sometimes i couldnt take
all your lies and hidden truths
you say you're being real
i see the good in you
but you wont let me make you feel
that we are here to guide you
we are here to support you
but
all the moments we spend
are compressed into pitch black
whenever you turn your back
and whisper things to people.
youre stabbing us with the knife
we never thought you'd hold

There is still so much wine.

But there is so little time..

Please stay.

What will my parents say?

I'll take you home.

I can do it on my own.

Come on, one last drink.

One more and in alcohol I will sink.

The night is still young!

Oh, the lies spoken by your tongue.

I'm not faking it, I want you here.

You are completely drunk, I bet you cannot hear.

Yes, I am drunk.
And you, you are **** beautiful.
I can see it, I can see.
Tomorrow I'll be sober
and I know you would still be.

i tried to stop myself
from being deeply scarred again.
in literal sense,
i wanted to numb the pain,
delete the non-existent texts,
and believe in ignorance.
i thought my heart has learned its lesson
i said it feels good
because we're just starting
but know this, sweetheart,
in the end
you will regret everything.

i warned you,
but i was also reminding myself
but who was i kidding?
*Crucified Christ, I am in love again.

I'm glad I never knew
How different love could be
I'm glad you feel it too
I'm glad it's you and me

I still ask, though I'll never know
Why a heart like yours
Fell into my love hole
And stayed 'til morrow

I still ask, though I'll never be answered
How an electric soul like yours
Could love me, an ember shattered
Still you want to call me yours

A kiss would be cosmic,
A snuggle would cause palpitations,
Absence of such things would be devastating,
A kiss would be cosmic.

Change my perspective,
Teach me how to love you,
Like I have never done it before,
Change my perspective.

To watch the stars and be with you,
It would summon the goddesses of hearts,
It would make the nymphs cheer with joy,
For their favorite destined love has come,
For you have given me the chance,
To watch the stars and be with you.

I visited that site today,
where all our memories are laid
I don't know why but I miss it somehow
I guess I just can't forget
I guess you never taught me how
Sometimes I wish we never met
But all is well now, I suppose
All is good for me and you
We have adapted to all our losses
I hope you have beautiful days, too
I am okay, if you really care
That was how you left me
Those were your last words
You said your soul is torn
You said I was a horcrux of yours
You told me you hated that you still think of me,
You still cry for your forever
You keep all my letters,
all the stuffed toys and little things
It smells like me
You remember my touch,
and all of it still lingers
It reminds you of innocence
and all the bad days
It reminds you of me,
your longest fling.
You used to remember my lips when you kissed hers
I pitied her at some point
She didn't deserve a love like that
But who am I to care about you two
You didn't even care when you inflicted pain on me
I guess our doors are closed
You say we are in good terms like we had a negotiation
It was nice until it lasted
Lately I found out that
God made another one of you
to love me better than you ever will

All is well now, I suppose
All too well, I guarantee.