once a friend asked
what is your home like?
and then i thought
what is it like?

it is where i loved
where i lived
all the things i keep
tis where i find more peace
and more chaos

it is who i love
who i lived with
all the people i adore
tis where i find more admiration
and more chaos

it is why i love
why i live
all the places i have been to
tis why i find more wonder
and more chaos

it is when i love
when i want to live
all the dates i died
tis why i find more serenity
and more chaos

but what was my home like?
was it ever happy,
and did it ever contain love?
or was it just chaos all in all?

there will come a time
when it will feel like we're standing
so close to the edge,
but I know -
I just do
- that we will jump down
into that deep void,
(maybe because of too much bravery)
scream our lungs out,
and make a big splash...

we didnt know
what was down there,
but we both knew
that somehow -
just maybe
- it was worth the risk.

*and it was

"I have loved a girl
whose mind is chaotic
she cannot decide on who to be with
but i still adored her dark side
even when it was so hard to keep up
she changes faster than a sunset
but loves deeper than the endless horizon
she is happy when i am happy
we were one
and we were in love"

I want to stop living in the past
My princess I found you at last
I'm scared you'll one day leave
Darkness is all I believe
I met you now but still cry
I just feel we'll have our goodbye
I want you to know I love you so
Every moment of tomorrow
I am in love with all your soul
Every minute of our love fall
Here we are,
under all the stars
Beneath the watching constellations
Connected by vibrations
Hello, my baby
Can't be there, I'm sorry
My faithful love of May,
I like hearing you say
You want me to be your safety
I know,
I just know,
Someday you'll be home with me

We haven't been sharing,
Every step we made was lurking
in our shadows that we cast
and all the barricades we built
I want you to see that I am here
For three years now, I have proven
that I am a friend,
I could be trusted
I will stick with you til the end
But when will our end come?
I hope it never will
Joanne,
with you I have laughed,
I have shared secrets
and ***** memories
but all of them are treasured
weak or strong,
real or not,
I am here.

Sweetness in every hold,
the grasp of you can keep me still
hold me, forever and beyond and up until:
The connection gets stronger
the strings get tighter
and this infatuation float higher
Every move is flagrant -
every touch burns
too much to not be obvious,
Love, sweet love,
cohesive as can be
happiness in every stand
Let us burst in flames
let us ignite in this intensity
until we are nothing but ashes
Ashes that could cover up their eyes
let them shake their heads
let their minds see we how cogent love could be
Routines become us
and we become the universe itself,
and we become the life, the life itself.

one night at 1:43
i doubted you
i blamed the past seas
i shouted at the moon;
maybe i don't love you
maybe i just couldn't
maybe i was meant for you
maybe this was destined
maybe our fate would someday end
and maybe it would be tragic as hell
maybe you and i are both heaven-sent
but one day -maybe, just maybe- i would be just another story to tell.

two months tomorrow, still you keep me out of my sorrow. darling i just want you to know that for you i am grateful

two months tomorrow, still you keep me distracted. darling i just want to say that if it werent for you i'd have ran away

two months tomorrow, thats what it took for me to know a piece of you and you, a part of me.

i'd like to share more memories, but know that i am contented and happy with whatever you keep on giving me

for every second of every day, you make me feel happy. for every second of every day, you make me feel loved.

for every day, Ezmo, you are with me. and i am grateful.

little rain, please do stay
i have nothing but you
please take the pain away
i will, if you do too

little rain, make me stay
i've got nothing to do
please fall on me today
let me admire your view

i fell in love with the way i woke you up
i waited for seconds before i did
i wanted to watch you forever
but i needed to see how your eyes flutter

you should never cut your hair
i love the way you run through them
keep them down, keep them
they give me feelings i could not bear

we will go to the oceans, a beach
i will lay on the sand
you can play, after all it is our land
i will know your laugh as i watch

you can wrap your fingers around mine
i'll hold you tightly and scribble signs
this is nothing but real
this is the start of something surreal

you make me lose it all
the sleep, the lies, the sadness
i'd throw away the vices
just assure me this won't fall into pieces

we dream of all these dates
of seas and comfort
of silent rooms to fulfill our desires
all we need is the guts to drive

we'd build a card house
red in color, of course
where mornings save you
and nights can be true

we'd buy what you want
we'd do what you want
we'd be anyone you want to be
let me in and i'll make you see

i'll make you believe
that i can never leave
and to all the people who are trying to take you away from me
i am not afraid to throw them the key

i'll let them know you are safe with me
i'll let them feel our infinity
i'd hold you close and let them see
how much i want you to be with me.

He cheers me up,
he makes me happy
and when you're not here,
he tells me he loves me.

*He loves me.
He loves me a lot.
He loves me.
He loves me even more.

Cinemas were made for us to watch movies, but it seems like they are the one watching us.*

How right the world was then
We held hands and you opened
The world I have never seen
The buzzing was too much
I remember how you were so tensed
God, what could have happened
If I didn't close my eyes?
We were not even inches apart
You were listening to my heart
Every move was burning
Every touch, every spark
What were we watching again?
Oh ***** that, dear,
our lips were now getting near
to the most awaited bliss
to the most awaited first kiss.

A kiss would be cosmic,
A snuggle would cause palpitations,
Absence of such things would be devastating,
A kiss would be cosmic.

Change my perspective,
Teach me how to love you,
Like I have never done it before,
Change my perspective.

To watch the stars and be with you,
It would summon the goddesses of hearts,
It would make the nymphs cheer with joy,
For their favorite destined love has come,
For you have given me the chance,
To watch the stars and be with you.

You say it's just my mood swings,
When tears can't stop from falling
and yes, the reason is nothing
But I feel this -
these annoying emotions
and troubled thoughts

It is not because I am a girl
having another day of sadness
It is because I am empty
having another day of worthlessness.

: "You are beautiful."
: "You are so blessed, you know that?"
: "I'm jealous because you have everything."
: "You have a radiant smile."
: "You are a treasure."
: "You are important to me."
: "I miss you."
: "You are enough."

Another day bound to an end
The questions still hovering
So I thought of asking Him
Give it when I reach ten

One, I search for your eyes
Two, they cannot meet mine
Three, Four, my head hits wood
Five, and now I shall wait
Six, your voice so pleasant to hear
Seven, Eight, for God's sake come near
Ni- "are you okay?"

Your face just inches above mine
Dear, come closer, I'll let you know
It was fate that brought you here
Now I see why I shouldn't let go.

you tell me i dont understand you like i never spent my 3 AM with you
you tell me i dont know a thing about you like i have never met your chaos
you tell me i dont see you like i have never heard your morning voice
you tell me i dont know anything about you like all the years we spent were blank pages of your past

sinabi ko na ang lahat ng gusto kong sabihin
itinago mo na rin marahil ang lahat ng sulat kong nagkalat lang dati sa kwarto mo

tiniyak na nating hindi na tayo mag-uusap
tiniyak na nating hindi na tayo magkikita

ito na ang tuldok sa lahat ng tulang inakala nating walang katapusan.

I'm sorry* is nonchalant.

I hope you cannot breathe without me
I hope you'd rather be lonely
than love anyone else besides me
I hope that when we end
you will never get over
the love that we had in hand
I hope you'll never be sober
I hope you'll beg for me to stay
and if you let me leave
I hope I will have the last say
I will say it is better that way
And then your heart will break
and break
and break
and break
and it will never end
I hope you'll never forget me
I hope you'll lurk
at the back of the Church
looking at how
I kiss the man I chose
I hope your mind will be dark
because you lost your light
you lost the path
the path that keeps you still
I hope you'll have nightmares
because you lost the girl
the girl of your dreams
and the lady who promised
she will be with you until
the chaotic side of you ends
I hope you cry for me
I hope you will love me
and love me
beyond what love can give
I hope you'll be crazy
I hope you'll lose your sanity
over this girl
who lied to you
who ignited you
and let your fire burn out
I hope you will keep on
sheltering me
even if
I am not yours to protect anymore
Because you realized
that I was the only one
the only one
who loved you
when you cannot be loved
loved you so, but
only for a numbered infinity.

i know that look, dear
you're always seeking
tell me what you want to hear
you are just stealing
some glances only i can catch

like a song of fame
you make everybody sing
and i would definitely be lost
if you let them hear it

know that everyday
i wish i could do better
i wish i could satisfy your worth
in order for this to work
you have to get what you deserve
know that i am yours to love, my beautiful girl

I'm glad I never knew
How different love could be
I'm glad you feel it too
I'm glad it's you and me

I still ask, though I'll never know
Why a heart like yours
Fell into my love hole
And stayed 'til morrow

I still ask, though I'll never be answered
How an electric soul like yours
Could love me, an ember shattered
Still you want to call me yours

I was broken -
And I never knew what that felt like
until I was made whole again;
until I caught your sight,
until I made you smile
and until I realized
someone is worth living for
again

and from that moment
I already feared
that I am starting to depend
my happiness on you
from that moment on
I already felt scared
that I am beginning to see
the light I once saw
The light that was once too bright
and burned in the dark
but still taught me
that flames don't last forever

Here I am again
Thinking that if you'll break me
Then so be it, darling
It's okay
I'll be okay
Maybe we won't be forever
But I want to spend an infinity with you
So break me
And shatter me
Until then
I will love you
Like I have never loved before.

I used to go home for a smile,
a little escape,
a little love from
vibrations and messages

Now I go home with a smile,
a vast void of solace,
an immense adoration from
stolen kisses and glances

I used to think I'd rather be the one in pain
than to see my lovers hurt
I used to think they are dainty
and aren't capable of sorrow

Now I think I'd rather risk the battles
than to see this fade
Now I think the one I have is too brave,
and is too giddy for tomorrow

I used to be so afraid
I used to be so careful
I thought sacrifice might save them
as I hoped it might redeem me, too

Now I want to break these rules
Now I want to be aggressive
I think I cannot ever let you go
as I hope you would never, too

We were laying on our backs
Different parks
Different cities
But I felt your electricity
The damp grass under us
The starry skies up there
And a lot of stories to share
Silence filled the dark
Buzzing vibrations
Quiet distant pulses
I wish this promising wind
Would bring you my voice

*I wish you lived near
I wish you are here
I wish I could give you the moon
I wish I could see you soon
I wish I could catch you stars
And embrace you for hours
I wish I could be your man
Give smiles when nobody can
Kisses in the morning
Picnics in spring
I wish you could hear my words
Believe that for you I have yearned
And even if I get nothing in return
I'd give you the whole world

You were my first love
I still hope you chased me
I still wonder what could have happened
If you begged, if I stayed

What could have happened, honey?
I actually thought you and me
Would be the first one to sail
and the last one to fail

My, my, my lost boy
My Peter, my escape
The first promise to ever break
My first love, you were all mine to take.

i would very much appreciate
if you would stop comparing yourself to others
and being so crazily in love with your loneliness and depression

I am the monster of my own destruction;
and the slave of my own chaos.

Promises may run out of rhyme,
but remember that the
Ubiquity of you is around me all the time,
and though
Rapid losses of love may occur,
but the
Peace that you bring me everytime is the
Living proof that all endings have an end,
and
Endings don't happen all the time.

it's starting to get colder
but with you i feel heat get stronger
the nights are longer
and my days are brighter
paper lanterns begin floating
as i am perpetually falling

I have drowned
willingly
for the third time
and hopefully
the last

get your own ******* love life and stop staring at ours.

Nobody warned
It could be this
Close, this strong; that
Over the distances
Love could be painted and the
Epitome of what we started could

Destroy our chaos,
Embarking in our minds that
Love could still be here and will
Always be here

Come closer,
Reality will hit us one day but
Unfortunately for the stars, my love
Zenith found its way to us

Real, tell me
And I will
Make sure that nothing
In this world, not the bumpy
Rails and barricades of
Every tragic incident we have made, could disturb our
Zen.

What is the point of faking your smiles,
faking your feelings
towards someone you do not even care about?

What is the point of giving time,
sharing laughters
to somebody you do not even want to be with?

What are you even thinking
when you are with me?
Conversing thoughts
and taking in every minute possible
without actually absorbing
all the words I am constructing

There is still so much wine.

But there is so little time..

Please stay.

What will my parents say?

I'll take you home.

I can do it on my own.

Come on, one last drink.

One more and in alcohol I will sink.

The night is still young!

Oh, the lies spoken by your tongue.

I'm not faking it, I want you here.

You are completely drunk, I bet you cannot hear.

Yes, I am drunk.
And you, you are **** beautiful.
I can see it, I can see.
Tomorrow I'll be sober
and I know you would still be.

your baby girl cried tonight
the vibrations she made were quiet
she wants you to know how unbecoming it is as you said
youre okay, sleep tight

daddy make me go out
i am caged in this
i still cant figure it out
but i know it's not what my soul needs

i find war in every story
i am unwell,
this is love,
this is hell

i can feel everything giving up on me
i saw how she smiled today
but i still worry, you see
she said she'll never be okay

i am more than these bones,
i am less than these words
i feel shame,
just wish she would feel the same

i am weak and my mind is chaotic
i hope she would come home
i am strong and my body is sick
i hope she would come home

you drilled a hole in my heart
and left it there
     naked
       open
         vulnerable

you are still my zing
my one and only
the best and worst thing
thats ever happened to me

you are my angel
you are my butterfly
you taught me to fly
but not in hell

you are the spark
you are the haven
you put me in the dark
but also put an end

now i am in the dark again.

2:30
stop fading, please
stop letting go of this
stop hiding in your shell
maybe i just want you to tell.

3:20
one hold and i am still
one stare and i broke the deal
it is weakening, it is too strong
it is a thing i dont want to last long

4:13
here we go again
walking down the runway of stares
what have we done? is this a sin?
to escape this, we climbed the stairs

4:30
let our silence do the talking.

5:10
what even is kissing?

5:30
we should really go home now
no, stay.

6:01
it's the rain that's telling us to leave
**i know, but let us stay.

the problem about them
is that they write about everything.
so if they write about you,
are you really different?
if they romanticize
the way your eyes close when you laugh
and notice the way you walk,
isn't it normal for them to see all these things?
what makes their adoration special
is how they can tell you all the words
that they have written at midnight
face-to-face, upfront, straightforward.
what makes their love for you special
is how they combine it with petals
and notes every morning.
how they are not contented with their own rhymes.
how they want you to feel special,
so they will go all the way up
just to make you feel something.
how they do whatever they promised.
how their hearts go crazy when you say those three words.
how they fall in love with every particle,
every scent,
every vibration,
every touch,
every word
you have ever said.
what makes you special
is the fact that
you are the only one
they see when the sun wakes them up.
what makes you special is that
you are the only one
they think of when the stars bid good night.
what makes you special
is that they take their time
trying to catch your every breath
everyday.

The first time i loved forever
was when he came up to me
and said ever so sweetly,
"i really like you, please accept this flower"

he was glorious and all,
a boy not a man,
he really made me fall,
gave me smiles when nobody can

and boy, my heart was whole,
it was nice, we were good,
it was me, it was full,
at least until it lasted.

Everything changed when i met my sunshine;
the one who taught me bad things,
who made me shoot comets,
the one i fed stars and those in between -
when i met the one

i learned how to sew stitches,
i swallowed a needle,
i ate stardusts,
and accepted burnt candles

my heart was flashing bright,
i was blinded by the sight
of how deep and gentle love could be,
if only we were meant to be...

Nothing can come out of sadness?
therefore you should live again
for sadness gave me a lot,
sadness gave me my solace
sadness found me an angel
sadness lifted me up from hell

we built towers and fortresses,
we are catching the falling
and patching the holes
of a broken heart's great desire -
to be whole once more

you should know that -
every time i take a shower,
or hold my hands just above my face,
whenever something is in front of me,

or when someone gets too close -
i cannot say it in a poetic way, but
i always find you there.

Ignore me
Hurt me
Break me
Shatter me
Love me
Ignite me
And be me
Be love
Be fire
Be tired
Be the battle
Be my warrior
Protect me from all the flames
But let me be the flame
Let me shelter you
In the heat of this adoration
Let me be
Let it be
Let us be

i refuse to believe
that you are being true
you tell me the fault i have
but you act like that too

with thoughts simmering
i finally sat down
why cant my heart just stop beating?
on that note i frown.

for this life is nonsensical
without my muse,
i confess,
my days would not be lyrical.

this shall end tonight,
this should be my last,
but should i fright about
the shadows she had cast?

yes, for it will follow me
wherever I will be.
no, for i don't want to be free
let her shadows be with me

i tried to stand for all i care,
i tried to eat because they stare
i tried to move but i could not do
i almost wished you felt it, too

I snapped you out of your dreamland,
Hey, wake up
It seemed to be getting out of my hands
Aloof and distant, wake up

Make me your inspiration,
I strongly said
No, you're a distraction
And maybe I was the one who woke up

I snapped.

Yes, a nuisance
A worthless piece of annoyance
Ready to ruin a life so young,
so fragile.
Prepared to break a perfectly whole heart,
to cut the wings of a freely floating angel.

*A distraction, a distraction, a distraction