I sit on the roof top going back to the years where everything was so easy
Where danger was far from my mind
Where I had adventures in my small bedroom
Where I had inevitable dreams that would just go on and on.
Where I  danced around the room when people were looking
Where I  loved everything and everyone.  
I want to go back to those years and I wish i never grew up... because now I know it's a trap.

I wonder what it's like to feel loved.
Is it everything everyone talks about?
Is it beautiful to find someone who understands you?
Is it wonderful to kiss that person and fall in love again?
Is it magical with you feel his finger tips touch your soft skin?
Is it that person that  makes you smile at the worst time of you life?
Cause I just wanna fell you fingertips on skin, I want to feel your lips against my neck. I want to feel loved..

Remember that night we runaway from home and just hopped on a train?
Remember that night when we were walking down the empty street you kiss me on the forehead and you whispers those words? "I love you."
Remember when we were laying down on the grass and you said
"When you look at the nocturnal sky please remember the beautiful nights we had."
And now I've been on that same train, that same street and that same spot waiting for you to remember me.

I just want to fall in love with you all over again.. just let me.

I have no real friends and that breaks me apart every day cause I want someone to have sleepovers with, tell each other secrets, talk about our crushes, be there even the other is breaking down.

But I don't have that I wish I do.. but I guess I'm in this world a lone.

Will you still be mine the night of my distress
Will you still be mine when I'm acting hysterical
Will you still be mine when I'm going insane
Will you still be mine when I finally give up.
Will you be there when my world starts crushing down and destroy everything in my life **include you.

Let's get plane tickets and runaway
Let's sit in darkness and listening to the rain drops fall
Let's pretend that we're tourist and take pictures of everything
Let's lay in the roof and talk about our fears
Let's stay up til' 4am and just say random things to each other
Let's be each other's guide to life and that North Star that'll guide me to where I need to go.

My conscience keeps telling me "Just do it.." "Do it! You hate your self anyway,
no one wants you here,
your nonexistent. I know you hate self
and every night your eyes
are full of a sea of tears.
Your a lone, suicide is your last resort Just do it and get it over with it."
**"End it right now."

I'm sorry!" He says for forgetting her birthday once again

She smiles

"It's okay."

"I'm sorry." He says for giving her dark blue bruises.

She smiles
"It's okay."

"I'm sorry." He says for taking her innocence away from her

She smiles
"It's okay."

"Baby, I'm sorry." He says that one night he comes home drunk. Whiskey all over his body and with someone else perfume on his shirt. And he takes all his anger out on the innocent, beautiful, forgiving girl that he calms to love. Her body lays lifeless on the ground. Her breathing slows down and she whispers

She smiles
"It's okay."


Over the pasts years she's been with him it was hell and she finally got to go to heaven.

You have dreams

And I have nightmares

You try to hold me  closer

But I push away

You kiss my cheeks and

I sunder at your touch

Because while have beautiful dreams, I'm having nightmares and your in them.