At dusk we watch the windows of the hotel tell their stories
Some are a warm summer yellow and inside, their lovers are at peace
Some flash with florescent brightness, as colors slap their eggshell walls
I imagine the lives that other people lead, and am glad I have my own with you
Someone who will pause to look out at the world with me, and wonder what it means

I watch you talk about the contrast and the unity of this city and of nature
About how the city rises up in front of the ocean like a purposeful backdrop
And how it towers above the Earth as men believe we have the right to
Attempting to make natural and unnatural beauty cohabitants of one another
I let my heart agree, and give into the skyline imprinted on the horizon

I suppose I've been waiting to meet you. And now I have
So I can feel my way around a perfect summer's night
So we can drink blueberry wine and watch the sky fade into a similar flavor
A gradient from icy light blue to a full-bodied purple haze

You kiss me perfectly in the easy, mellow middle of nowhere
Sweet like a summer peach and soft like a blanket of sun
Covering me everywhere and kissing right beneath the bones
In a small farming town I learn more about you than ever before
It’s not my home, but I know I would be happy with the change

I let you wonder what I’m thinking because it’s too heavy for the air
The little mystery I withhold from you is my only way of slowing down
This whole hearted, light headed revolution of my brand new soul
This eternal adventure I embarked upon without a second thought

We could do anything together, making new memories as we swap old ones
You say you've only felt this way a couple of times before. But I never have
So I let you win, I let you lead, even when you talk to me sounding like a father.
I come to you like a ****** to love with a blank slate for a heart and a future

Your right for me simply because you do not ground me
You coincide with the dreamer and thinker that no one else hears or sees
And you listen and look at me in a way that no one else comprehends

Your hold on me feels just right against the silence and sleeping darkness
I feel a lot more than the quiet night can hold when I finally let you fall asleep
As your dreaming I’m thinking about you recklessly, holding on as long as I can
If I can feel your breathing, your beating heart, your train of thought
I can slip into your dreams with you, ultimately together in a shared subconscious
And if I wake up to those sun beams and bright blue, I’ll be happy until next time.

A man who drives like he’s mad
A mirage in the summer,
And a ghost in the winter.
The air is epileptic with heat
Going on like a rippling curtain
I let go, and reattach myself
I am here, maybe there
Somehow, I grew this bitterness
Ashamed I let myself submerge
Whole hearted and light headed
Into this handsome revolution.
My lips are a clean slate,
Perhaps I have returned.

The days dust me with guilt,
Far too humid to shake off.
Angles and Shapes boiling
In hot pressure.

From the inside of my own palm,
Silent Skin descends its gift.
Some words hint,
But nothing knows
The mystery of luck
Comes from where God grows.

I steer their perspective
With motions and quotes.
My mind designs the next time
Like drawing from fantasy,
And recycled memories.

When the connection between
Thought and Life is lost,
Feelings vary in values of grey
Love to love, my entertainment.
Adderall, my American dream.

We fall into to the night without saying a word
Nothing could be said, nothing should be said
No words are clean enough to cut the peace.
We open our eyes to the morning light with a laugh
I know exactly what that smile means
I’ve learned your expressions like a dialect.
An undeniably happy face, sticky and syrupy sweet
From all the silent praises I’ve planted on your cheek
I let the quiet sing, things I shouldn't yet say.
When we kiss, I leave, like a spirit from a hollow body
Turning completely liquid under a tickled, happy layer of skin
Feeling so content and full, like soul food on the weekend
Hearing the perfect white noise of your record player
While it sings for me during my shower
Inhaling the incense we forgot we lit, so long ago
A day ago, three days ago, but I’ve almost known you always.
We expand the concept of a minute, an hour, a night
Learning more in the framework of a flash
Than some may learn in a lifetime
A paralyzing combination of heat and honesty of heart
We once were parallel, but completely unaware
Now we are perpendicular, in motion, in crossing
In a quick intersection we wish could trap us
We have both been propelled towards different horizons
But that doesn't take away the thrill of the present tense
It makes it all the more romantic

Assuming its appreciated
I suffocate my intuitions,
And collect them all inside me.
All my thoughts, my little dolls,
I line in rows, and brush their hair.
And although love has proved unfair-
Purposefully, I continue.

I do believe it's worth the war.
Tumbling down my house of cards.
Allow him to forever triumph,
Because others come before me.
I could be flying upwards,
But instead, I sit back down.
For I'd rather never push away the wind.

Outside voices unearth crooked tones
They tell me: Foolish flower, trampled all over.
But I do believe it's worth the war.
Foolish flower, I may or may not be.

I've spread my roots across these panels
Lived a life within these walls.
I can make no movements,
But my eyes are wild.
Solitary and unspoiled
With nothing to need.
Until one day,
You rose in place of the sun.

I grew to live for the moment
In which you shone.
In this freshly sun soaked room,
I come apart.
I watch you bloom
Your a warm yellow,
And I can see straight through.
In that short second,
I become uncontrollable.
I reach so far I break,
but I have no arms.
I writhe and beat,
but have nowhere to burst.
I can do nothing, but die of wanting.
I am glued to this wall.

As you set,
I can not restrain your leaving.
There is nothing to cover the hole in which you fall.
As you set,
I let my eyes pour over you quickly.
Flood you over for that last moment,
Forcing myself between every tiny thread
Of your uncharted, bottomless mystery.
Wallflower, gaze while he flies away.
Wallflower, you lost your chance today.

Why did you struggle,
Why did you push?
Thin stemmed ambitiousness
And white petal innocence
Arisen to bring hope to me,
As I wander on my midnight walk.
Walk until my legs sting with cold.
Walk to put some air back inside me.
I am seeking a thrilling happiness,
Or anything to set me on my way.
Walk to forget what disappoints me.
Peering in the windows,
Of homes warm and bright
Where people chat and laugh
In envy, I long to come inside.
I am seeking a thrilling happiness,
Or anything to set me on my way.

I was a woman on the war path
Chanting, beating my chest, painting my face
I was new at life and bleeding that youthful aura
But now I’ve gone dry, thirsty for what I let go.
I watch him stand over your body,
And painfully remove all I had adorned you with.
I had used you as a sanctuary for all my dreams.
You had seen the best and worst of me
But now you see me worst of all, retired.

I no longer venture into the night and roll into the morning
I don’t climb the walls, or shout to the seasons
I don’t cry with all-consuming  passion
I don’t love with reckless infatuation
I don’t hate myself when I’m high on angst
I even don’t love myself when I’m high on vanity
I was the epitome of extremes and starved for thrills
The runaway, the rolling stone, the troublemaker
The flirt, the fighter, the drinker and smoker.

I’m grateful you’re too fogged to notice me
Because I know you wouldn’t believe
The shrewd and quiet ghost I’ve grown up to be.

A woman with her arms out wide, as if suspended in the sky
For that one final moment before the crash
The physics and theology I can’t understand
She doesn't come to end me,
But to rescue me.
I am so overdone,
And just want to be silenced
I’m asking for her finger on my lips
I’m asking for a nurturer, a place to sleep
I try to tell her I've loved her all along
I put away the lies I've learned, the lives I've led
She takes me home to forgive me forever
To a place where I can find that quiet hymn
Where time is just a myth,
And I can finally be put to rest.

I’m working to unwrap you slowly
To form you up like a theory
To create a habitat for you in my head
My steps grow wider when I see you at the end
Lying, lounging, an old lion
Afternoon sun low and tired
Rays and shadows streak the road like enveloping arms
As I grow closer, you project even further away
I just long to reach you
Rest my head against your ***** and
Sleep against your softness like a pile of feathers
To rest at last.

But at times I think I’ll never reach you,
As I approach you reflect even further away
I wonder that this road is endless, thinning into the distance
The black wires radiate into the air above me
Mutating my simple DNA into something else entirely
A sole purpose survivor, a solider
The cause is more desperate now
They’re buzzing to each other above my head, talking about me
Their scrutiny banging between my ears
The dust becomes a new layer of me, with incredible thirst
Just fields of dehydrated dandelions, just nothing

They soak up the liquid from everything
With their chemical and electrical waves
The fields are screeching as they shrivel up, like dying children
Now it’s all yellow, beige, and far away
It’s all so tiny against the horizon,
For all I know, your silhouette has become a statue by now
Just this long stripe of dirt I treat like a passageway
Just a ladder to a final place of rest
I’m desperate for a stop in my trudging motion
But I know I can’t lie down in this unworthy sand.

I soak you up
As If I could save you for later.
I know I won’t see you tomorrow,
And you look so handsome today.
The scruff on your neck
Leading the way down your unbuttoned chest
Your eyes all sparked up
From the brief spurts of sun
They all turn to stare out the steamed glass
But I remain fixated on those candle lit globes
You gaze out from behind them with utmost politeness
All white and glistening from withheld information
You smile as if it proved everything you feel
I ready myself for you, wishing for even just a whisper
But you only spit out those cliché fixes
So I make my way around again
I have number the last few visits we will have
And all I need is an answer, specifically, a yes.

Today you wear a black sweater.
Standing in the marshy December atmosphere
With a cigarette between your two most learned fingers
You do not take shame in such a habit
But you make it so appealing.

That day you wore a beige knitted number
I saw you at dinner, and recognized you right away
Your distinctive ****** features peeking out
Over the loosely woven yarn that hugs your torso
That face I still cannot quite figure out.

I watched that beige collared cloth
Hang down your back and angle at your neck
As you danced behind that girl I didn’t know
And then I watched that same sweater
Stumble on over to me, ecstatic to be there
I had no reason not to indulge you.

And when you wear your school’s sweater
I know you need to belong, and play a part
You’re a rugby star, a lettered fraternal success
But I also know that grey cotton crew neck
Clings closer to you, than I ever will.