Are you ever..
..upside-down,
inside-out?
Left,
when you are meant to be right?
Crying,
in happiness.
Laughing,
in sadness.

I am..

...everyday.

The walls are closing in on you
Dripping with crimson blood
Your vision is blackening
and your breath is coming quickly
You don't know what is wrong with you
Why the world is crashing in on you like this
It just is
You try to take a step closer to the door
but the pain that shoots through your body
makes you fall to the floor in a crippled mass of limbs
Your frantic now, trying to find away out of this disparaging hell
You look up at the ceiling, surprised to see the sky,
the pristine blue only interrupted by the white-fluffy clouds
You stare longingly at that perfect sky thinking that this hell wouldn't be as hard if you could
just look at that wonderful sky
But it is just a false hope
In a moment the sky is covered by her sneering face
She laughs at you,
at the pain you are in,
at the tears that are now streaming down your face
your vision is starting to blacken again,
soon you can only see through a blurry cone
See her face looking at you with fake concern
like she is so worried about you
but you know it's all a lie.
the moment that the **** black nothingness closes in on you
she will become board with the mindless body that she created
she will turn and walk away with a cheery smile on her dreadful lying face
leave your body there knowing that your mind is still active just locked up to tightly to ever be reached again.
feeling and remembering everything she did to you
and everything that will happen to you from this point on.
as the dryness in you throat goes form a dull pain to a burning flame licking at the parched skin of you mouth
your tongue feels thick in your mouth as all the moisture is gone
The rumble in your stomach goes form a little pattering once and awhile to an unbearably loud thunder claps that shake your hollow insides
There is pain your stomach as well
a hollow ache that just keeps getting worse as your head starts to pound.
there is a sharp piercing feeling running through you arms and legs.
you are slowly rotting away in mind and in body.
until you are the very thing she says you are...

...nothing.







But then..




just as you are about to be lost forever
your only hope appears
that shinning ray of hope lifts you up and carries you away
holding you close as she wipes away the tears
for she is the only one...

,,,,that holds the key that unlocks you.

Take a step forward, but never back.
Remember the future, but forget the past.
Hold her close, but never let go for you may fall.
Take a stand, but do not die in battle.
Walk the path you choose in life, but do not get lost in the darkness.
Hide your pain, but let them see the real you.
Learn to forgive, but always remember the truth.
Jump for joy, but don't hit your head on the rain clouds.
Walk along the ocean, but don't let the cold water nip your toes.
Sing along with the one you love, but don't sing to loud so you can still hear her beautiful voice.
Always look on the bright side, but it may hurt your eyes.
Put the song on repeat, but don't turn up the volume.
Take a bite of chocolate, but don't let in it's sweetness.
Sit in a room full of others, but don't see anybody.
Release the stress from you body, but don't forget the anxiety.
Stand in the pouring rain, but don't let the ground crumble under you.
Plant a tree, but never watch the pass of it's hourglass.
Sit in front of a computer screen, but never really write a word.
Hold you tongue when you want to speak, but scream in the silence.
Dip the paintbrush in the colours, but never let the picture out of your mind.
Go out with your friends, but don't let the knowledge of their hate soke in.
Wake up on a sunny day, but paint the windows black with tears.
Write the letter, but never send it.
Begin the sentence, but never end it.
Keep the secrets inside the little box, but never give it to the world.
Push the blankets back in the morning, but see nothing in the mirror.
Spin the silk on the wheel, but never make anything of the lies.
Hold your breath forever, but don't turn blue for your already dead.
Give a quick smile, but never let it reach your eyes.
Take a leap of faith, but realize to late that the safety net in gone.
Plug in the nightlight to chase away the dark, but only then do you understand that the darkness is inside.
Pick up the pencil, but don't draw on the stained paper.
Grab a snack as you walk out the door, but fall and leave it in the puddle.
Buy a book from the store, but don't open the cover for fear of what lays wait inside.
Enjoy the show, but let the stage fade to black.

One step forward and you shall fall.
Tumbling down hear the DoDo bird call.
Casing that rabbit down his tiny hall.
Through singing gardens you crawl.
One makes you smaller and one makes you tall.
Escape from the tea party narrowly missing a brawl.
In the cute little house you wish to be small.
Don't eat anything here you should always recall.
Look at that grin as the he curls in a ball.
This way, that way on all the signs they scrawl.
With homesick tears many eyes you enthrall.
Don't laugh at the Queen painted up like a doll.
In the court room the Cards hold you thrall.
Run through the roses that make up the maze wall.
That was a good dream you think, all-in-all.

I wish that every tear I cried led to the ocean
and that every beat of my heart was the rhythm of a song
I wish that I got everything that I supposed to do done
and that the smile on my face wasn't so often fake
I wish I didn't have to wait for the end of the week to see her
and feel her arms around me and her hand in mine
I wish that the world would spin faster than a Tilt-A-Whorl
and I let my head fall back as I let the wooziness overtake me
I wish that the colours on my paper would turn out the way I wanted when I painted a smile
and not a frown
I wish that I didn't have so many 'I wish's' spinning around in my head
and that some of them would just come true.

faces smirking at me form unknown places
laughter taunting me from dark corners
the sky is folding in on itself
the sun eating up all the stars

the footsteps that follow me are growing ever closer
I can't seem to get away from my unseen tormentors
as they chase me into insanity

colours are moving all around my body
infecting me with millions of emotions every moment
who am I now?
for I am certainly not the one you all knew

As I sit here
My eyes burning with the tears
I have tried so hard to hold inside

I hear the blood curtailing screams
of cell mates, trapped in horrible world
in my unprotected ears
and I want nothing more
than to find silence
in my broken mind

I wish I could turn back the clock
remember
the feeling of
innocents
that came without darkness or anxiety

but that is impossible
and even this
damaged person
knows that.