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Erika Skye Jun 2013
Give me that Eternal Sunshine, that comes with a hefty price.
Rid me of my memories with every single slice.
The ghost of your touch upon my skin drives my heart insane.
Just thinking of your tender lips, I wish I could abstain.

Stop haunting me with your blue eyes, you laugh, your voice, your smile.
I need to learn to shut you out, to empty every file.
Come peaceful mind and empty heart, your loving warm embrace,
Bring your numbing Novocaine and rid me of his brace.

Take all the things you did to me, the good, the bad, the lies.
Take back the time I gave to you, break all our ling'ring ties.
I think it might well **** me, to just forget your face,
But you're not the man I thought you were, so go ahead erase.

If I could choose I'd turn back time, and change the things I knew.
Like all the things I could avoid just by avoiding you.
You may have made me happy, when things were simple and right,
But I'm tired of this emptiness, this never ending night.

I need to feel the sun again, to be whole without a crack.
So hurry here, go'head begin to take the whole lot back.
I won't remember missing you, or the happiness I had.
I won't the recall those feelings, only purity will you add.
Erika Skye Jun 2013
That feeling that you get when you drop the last bit of your ice cream cone.
When you think you lost your phone and it's in your back pocket.
When you simply can't find your glasses, which are on your head.
When you trip over a painted line.
When your bookmark falls out of your book.
When you think there's an extra step at the top of the stairs.
When you think there's an extra step at the bottom of the stairs.
When you conveniently keep hitting a newly formed bruise.
When you can't find a matching sock.
When you accidentally press send before you're ready.
When you break a hair tie.
When you step in a deceivingly large puddle.
When you get a paper cut.
When you scratch a CD/DVD.
When you sing along to a song you hate.
When someone steps on the back of your shoe.
When someone's tag is sticking out.
When someone's a loud chewer or chews with their mouth open.
When your hair blows around and gets stuck in your gum or chap stuff on your lips.
When you stain your clothes.
When you lose an earring.
When you run out of cream for your coffee.
When you get to E in your gas tank.
When you step in gum.
When you sit on hot leather seats.
When you sit on wicker furniture with shorts on.
When you get shampoo in your eye.
When the soap is so small it crumbles to pieces.
When no one refills the toilet paper.
When someone sticks the milk or juice back in the fridge with half a sip left.
When you can't for the life of you think of the name of something.
When you forget how to spell simple words.
When you have to walk barefoot on hot pavement.
When you get an awkward sun tan.
When you forget to reapply.
When you get fingerprints on your glasses.
When someone spoils a movie or TV show.
When your favorite character dies (love you Sirius).
When you have an itch with a cast on.
When you can't open a combination lock.
When you hear a mosquito in your ear.
When you drop your change everywhere.
When you smudge your nails right after painting them.
When the Bruins lose.
When the end of your jeans fray.
When you get hat head.
When you get shocked by inanimate objects or people.
When you (re)realize there will never be a new Harry Potter book.
When you have something stuck in your teeth.
When you can't fall asleep at night.
When you can't turn your mind off.
When your phone decides to shut itself off.
When you have a cord that just isn't long enough.
*When time after time I have to remind myself that you aren't who I thought you were.
Erika Skye May 2013
My Ideal Man:

1. Watch nerdy movies with me, you'll get my heart quicker if you love Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, and superhero movies along with me.
2. Be a Bruins fan please. Or at least a hockey fan, but Bruins is preferable.
3. Be kind. Don't do things just for yourself. If you see someone struggling help them.
4. Be patient. My family and I are nuts, and I'm so sorry about that, but we love with our whole hearts, and you'll never find people who care for you more, or will do anything for you.
5. Tolerate my musical preferences. I listen to quite a wide range of music, so bear with me.
6. When I'm sick, just let me watch a Disney movie, give me space (because when I'm sick I feel far from pretty, and have a tendency to not want to be around people) and I will love you forever.
7. Have faith. You don't have to be ridiculously religious, but believe in heaven and God.
8. Please have a functioning moral compass.
9. Don't question the TV shows I watch. (Ex. Game of Thrones, Project Runway, Friends)
10. Have a good relationship with your parents and siblings.
11. Be a dog lover, I'm going to want dogs when I live with someone (and I'm so sorry we can only get hypoallergenic ones)
12. Accept the fact that I tell my mum almost everything. If I know, likely she will know unless you make it very apparent that you don't want anyone to know.
13. Don't lie. Just don't.
14. Don't cheat. That should be obvious, but I've been through it before and I don't think I could handle it again.
15. Yes I'm a child when it comes to the little things in life. I love ice cream sundaes, coloring, Spongebob, and most adolescent things. Let it be.
16. If you have something bothering you, talk to me. Communication is key and I can't read minds, no matter how hard I try.
17. Be able to laugh at yourself, I do all the time at myself because most of the time I know I'm foolish.
18. Never underestimate snuggling. Unless it's really hot out.
19. Be spontaneous. Lord knows sometimes I do some strange things for no reason, but as long as they bring joy to someone or yourself, then do it.
20. Love with your whole heart.
*growing list
Erika Skye May 2013
Dear Love,

Just show up. Make everything right again.

I know if you walked through that door and grabbed on to me, and held me tight I would melt in your arms. I would fist my hands into your shirt and hold on for dear life, knowing that if I let go my world would fall from beneath my feet. You haunt my every waking minute, and are in my dreams each night. I can't escape your face, or our memories, no matter what I do.
I tried your method, but the bottle only made things worse. I'm not able to let it erase things like you can.
I tried to get the tears out of my system, one good long cry usually fixes things, but one cry has turned into many.
Why couldn't you just let things be? We were heading to a place where we would both be extremely happy together, and I think you realized that and panicked. But why? Is it so wrong for you to be happy and content with life? Is happiness and love too hard for you? Or was it simpler? Was it just the fact that I wouldn't give you what you wanted because I wasn't ready, and you weren't willing to wait? Because if that's so, don't walk through that door. What you did hurt more than anything, but finding out that the reason you did it was because I wasn't worth the wait would be much worse.
I think I loved you, or was about to fall in love with you. This wouldn't hurt so much if I didn't feel something so strong for you.
I miss you, the old you. The one that promised to never hurt me. The one that did goofy, adorable things that got my heart each time. The one that said he cared for me, and wanted to be with me always. I miss that person. But are you even him? Or is the real you the one that shattered my heart? This not knowing thing is killing me. I want you back in my life, but only if you are the man I know you can be, otherwise I have to fight through this pain alone and get over you in time.

Yours Until Time Takes Its Toll-
Erika Skye May 2013
It's an unwanted return, this movie in my mind.
Some uncontrollable presence keeps hitting rewind, play, rewind, play,
On all of the memories that hurt me the most.

I wish I could take the remote and smash it,
Or give myself the Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind.
I don't want to be given these flashbacks to endure.

Yes, I was happy at those times,
Yes, they made my smile,
Yes, they made me laugh,
But now?

Now they are individual knives, stabbing me unexpectedly,
Without so much as a warning, or sign.
And I cannot protect myself from them.

There is no armor I can wear, or wall I can build to prevent them from coming at me.
And no matter how much I fight their power over me, they still make their way into my head,
Then puncture my heart, relentlessly.

Flashes of pictures, of tiny moments, of full-fledged memories course through me,
And I'm completely helpless, having to sit through their destruction.
Each touch, each kiss, each moment of happiness are before my eyes,
But what once was pure joy, has turned into sorrow.
And I have to sit there, paralyzed by the loss of such happiness and simplicity.
Erika Skye May 2013
Your eyes are what caught mine when I first saw you.
Those never-ending oceans on your face.
I could swim forever, getting lost in their waves.

They were beyond hypnotizing, they were soul-capturing.
Sometimes I would catch myself leaning closer to you because I was caught in their pull,
And I would try to snap out of it, but end up gravitating to your gaze again.

How can such blue eyes burn like fire. It doesn't make any sense.
And yet each time you looked at me I was scorched by your stare,
Feeling my skin and heart melt like candle wax dripping helplessly down my body.

Eyes have always been a weakness for me, for they hold so many secrets.
All these emotions, and feelings, and riddles are right there in two portals of a person's soul.
However, your eyes were a lesson for me.

I thought that eyes were easily read, that I had the key to unlocking a person's true thoughts,
But yours threw me. You have the power to act like one emotion, but have an endless amount
Of others sealed away in the deep crevices of your heart and mind, unattainable to me.

Those eyes bewitched me, body and soul, mind and heart.
Before I knew it, I was too far gone, trapped in a storm,
When all I thought I was doing was wading in the calm waves.
Erika Skye May 2013
I only miss you at night.
That's where the absence of your arm around me is painful.
Even the warmth of your body next to mine is gone.
That gentle glow of heat that pulsated off your body onto mine has left,
Leaving me cold with only blankets to wrap around me.
The simple pressure of your fingers locked with mine is gone as well,
Leaving behind empty spaces.

Empty.

You left holes in my life.
You ripped down the wall I had worked on for 20 years.

The comfort of that boundary around my heart crumbled when I met you,
And though it felt right when you were around,
Now that you're gone my heart is raw from exposure.
The hurt you've caused creates holes,
And I can't build up my wall fast enough to prevent them.

I miss you more than almost anything.
It's such a different sort of longing than what happens when you actually lose a loved one.
I didn't lose you, you pushed me away.
Even though you're alive, you've killed your presence in my life.
This yearning to have you back is pointless,
And yet night after night I find myself hungering to hold you.
But it's only at night.
That's when I miss you most.
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