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  Sep 2016 Erika Castaldo
Eloi
A psych ward is the place to be,
Come along, and you will see.
You'll be welcomed by forgotten silent deaths
and torturous screams.
An everlasting place of a need to be free.

Come on down to the "freak show",
We'll show you how we rock and roll,
Some say that we're unhinged,
But trust me honey, the fun is about to begin.

A lobotomy a day keeps the schizophrenia away they say,
An electric chair isn't the cruelest thing there,
By far it is knowing that you are not crazy, amongst a world that is.

We'll dance for you, we do it well.
But if we don't, torture will make it amends.
We sit here day on day, hoping for freedom,
Uncanny, unlikely, and an impossible dream.

A  psych ward is the place to be,
We'll grow old here and die a forgotten death,
The music is still playing,
The patients are still dancing,
This is my last day.

So come on down to our freak show, join our family, we'll show you how to rock and roll,
And die insanely.
This is a poem about when I was admitted to a mental institution for 5 months straight.
  Sep 2016 Erika Castaldo
Francis
A primary source of pain is the truth,
though the truth shall set you free.
An addiction beyond recognition,
there is something dark deep inside me.

Inanimate white evil,
has stolen he who is I.
My soul needs cleansing,
Am I close to where I die?

With knowledge comes wisdom,
and wisdom is beneficial.
But knowledge of this darkness,
The last thing I am is superficial.

Reality is no longer near,
As my sinuses fail to clear.
The darkness was formed by choice,
And to die is what I fear.

As the lights rapidly flicker,
While my mind starts to shut down.
Like a married couple who bickers,
There is no peace,
In my own blood I will drown.

The light calmly dims,
The rhythm of the monitor straightens,
And a continuous beeping noise trims,
The sound of silence in the room.

In the name of the father, the son and the holy ghost,
Whoever snorted the fastest got the most.
But was it an escape from reality?
Or reality escaping from me,
I am now forever gone,
But the darkness will linger over my family.
Not my favorite but...
  Sep 2016 Erika Castaldo
Anon
What
Is
Happening
My fingers
On
Fire
Tingling
It's hot
Too hot
I can't breathe
I
Need
Air
The world is
Moving
Panicking
Why
Can't
I
Breathe
Help
Need
Help
So
Dizzy

Need
Air
What is
Happening
To
Me
Am I
Dying?
I
Need
Water
My throat
So dry
Nerves
On fire
I'm dying
I can't
Breathe
No
Air
Help
Dying
It's hot
But now
it's cold
Am I shaking?
Why won't
It stop
Losing
Control
The world
Is spinning
Still
Chest
Hurts
Why
Does it
Hurt
Am I having
A heart attack?
No
Oh God
I can't breathe
Help
I'm dying
I'm dying
I'm dying
Erika Castaldo Sep 2016
The Steps to Success:

1. Stand up for what you believe in; unless it goes against what society does, in which case you can kindly shut the hell up.

2. Don't let anyone stifle your creativity. But don't be too creative, you won't get anywhere in life because art doesn't matter after high school.

3. Express yourself. Unless of course your self expression makes others uncomfortable, then you must hide who you are in favor of what's normal.

4. Focus on the good in the world, even though the media is constantly full of mass shootings and suicide bombings.

5. Get a good night’s sleep every night. But only after you've done 6 hours of homework, eaten a full meal (not too much, we wouldn't want you to get fat), attended an extracurricular, and spent time with your family.

6. Mental health is important. But it isn't as important as homework, essays, and standardized tests. School always comes first.

7. Don't disrespect your elders. Even if they have beaten you down mentally and physically your entire life, they're older than you and therefore smarter. Respect them.

8. Be confident in who you are. But don't be too fat, not too thin either. Don't wear a lot of pink, but watch how much black you put on too. It's okay to feel good without makeup, but a bit of eyeliner wouldn't hurt. No, not like that, here's a makeup wipe; you wearing way too much.
Erika Castaldo Mar 2016
If I ever have a daughter,
She won’t go a day without thinking
That she isn’t as strong as others
Because of her ***.

If I ever have a daughter,
She won’t go a day without thinking
That she can’t walk down the
Street without being afraid.

If I ever have a daughter,
She won’t go a day without thinking
That every man she passes is going
To hurt her.

If I ever have a daughter,
She won’t go a day without thinking
That what she wears or what she says
Will put her in danger.

If I ever have a daughter,
She won’t go a day without thinking
That she is inferior or vulnerable or
Worthless.

If I ever have a daughter,
The world will try and break her down
And I don’t know if I can protect her from it.
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