When I first walked into Hell,
I didn’t even realize it had happened.
It was like out of nowhere,
The puppies became hellhounds
And the beautiful lakes became
Pits of lava.
The sun was now too hot and
The clouds were getting darker.
The gray sky seemed endless
And time was meaningless.
Shackles wrapped around my wrists
And ankles,
Holding me prisoner in my own
Despair.
The black smoke that then flew
From my throat was accompanied
By a shrill wail
And I watched with wide eyes
As a gargoyle materialized in front
Of me
And sat atop my lungs.
I tried my best to scream,
But all I could muster were
A few mere whimpers.
It was then that I heard the
Noise surrounding me.
I looked around to see people
Smiling and laughing with the
Devil.
Someone waved me over
And held up a glass of
Red liquid.
I said nothing.
The woman shrugged
And turned back to the
Group.
Did they not see all of it?
The lava, the shackles,
The gargoyle sitting on top
Of me?
I looked into the eyes of
The fearsome creature and
It disappeared before my eyes,
Along with the shackles.
I stood up on shaking feet.
I could still feel the weight
Of him on my lungs
And the restraints around
My wrists
and ankles.
Jan 5, 2017
Jan 5, 2017 at 10:14 PM UTC
Right in the middle of the busiest area of the Poconos, the group of condos sit in a large circle. The sky is dark, for it has been hidden from all possible sunlight by the many awnings and porches that join the different housing units. On one side of the condos the neon lights from the bar next door shine through the children’s windows, but the more occupied side the parking lot is lined with fast food restaurants- clumped together and riotous with large families that frequent them, juggling their small children and many diaper bags; and noisy cars speeding past with loud engines, pungent, murky exhaust spewing out of the back and police sirens constantly blaring down the street. In the parking lot encircled by the condos the tenant kids run around full of light yet somehow full of darkness at the same time. The older kids come out of the small houses to sit on the sidewalk in the evening, and the cracked sidewalks are covered with the faded chalk drawings left there by the youngsters earlier in the day, and with the sheets of crumbled up paper containing poetry no one would ever read, and with the old needles and discarded blunts of their parents who had left them there over the course of the day.
There is one unit in particular, a unit with a broken door from the many men who had tried to force their way in, a unit with holes in every wall that were put there by flying fists and thrown objects that had missed their true target- the oldest daughter. In front of the many holes in the their smiles are fake and their hugs are forced.
Nov 28, 2016
Nov 28, 2016 at 3:50 AM UTC
Childhood is sacred,
No matter how good or
How bad.
For it is a time of blissful ignorance,
Before you learn that your mom's 'medicine' was just a shot of ******
And that your dad's 'friend' was just
His newest fuck-buddy
Before you realize that you're broke
Because your mom is too busy drinking
To get a job
And your dad doesn't give a ****
Because he has a new family now.
Before you've been beaten down by the responsibility of caring for
Yourself and your brothers.
And before you know it that foolishness, that divine foolishness, has been ripped away and there is nothing left
But reality.
But years down the line you find yourself
Listening to your favorite song from when
You were five for the nostalgia
And sobbing while flipping through old photo albums
Even though you know that the man who brought the cake on your 3rd birthday was your mom's supplier
And that the woman behind the camera
Would become your first of many stepmothers.
But the look of joy on your face brings you to tears,
For it is a look you haven't seen
In fifteen years.
Sep 4, 2016
Sep 4, 2016 at 8:52 AM UTC
The Steps to Success:
1. Stand up for what you believe in; unless it goes against what society does, in which case you can kindly shut the hell up.
2. Don't let anyone stifle your creativity. But don't be too creative, you won't get anywhere in life because art doesn't matter after high school.
3. Express yourself. Unless of course your self expression makes others uncomfortable, then you must hide who you are in favor of what's normal.
4. Focus on the good in the world, even though the media is constantly full of mass shootings and suicide bombings.
5. Get a good night’s sleep every night. But only after you've done 6 hours of homework, eaten a full meal (not too much, we wouldn't want you to get fat), attended an extracurricular, and spent time with your family.
6. Mental health is important. But it isn't as important as homework, essays, and standardized tests. School always comes first.
7. Don't disrespect your elders. Even if they have beaten you down mentally and physically your entire life, they're older than you and therefore smarter. Respect them.
8. Be confident in who you are. But don't be too fat, not too thin either. Don't wear a lot of pink, but watch how much black you put on too. It's okay to feel good without makeup, but a bit of eyeliner wouldn't hurt. No, not like that, here's a makeup wipe; you wearing way too much.
Sep 2, 2016
Sep 2, 2016 at 11:31 AM UTC
If I ever have a daughter,
She won’t go a day without thinking
That she isn’t as strong as others
Because of her ***
If I ever have a daughter,
She won’t go a day without thinking
That she can’t walk down the
Street without being afraid.
If I ever have a daughter,
She won’t go a day without thinking
That every man she passes is going
To hurt her.
If I ever have a daughter,
She won’t go a day without thinking
That what she wears or what she says
Will put her in danger.
If I ever have a daughter,
She won’t go a day without thinking
That she is inferior or vulnerable or
Worthless.
If I ever have a daughter,
The world will try and break her down
And I don’t know if I can protect her from it.
Mar 13, 2016
Mar 13, 2016 at 6:45 PM UTC
The snow keeps falling
And it's too dangerous
To drive on the roads.
Everyone else is going
Home early from school
But I have to sit in this
Wretched classroom.
The roads are getting
Slippery and cars are
Getting in accidents but
I'm still stuck at school.
Don't they know that it's
Dangerous out there and
Getting worse each minute
They wait to let me leave?
So I’ll sit at this stupid desk
In this bland room and watch
The snow hit the window,
Dreaming of my bed.
Feb 9, 2016
Feb 9, 2016 at 11:24 AM UTC
You know that you shouldn't
Give them a piece of you.
You know that nothing but
Pain will come from it.
But you let yourself hope
That this time it will be
Different.
You convince yourself
That they will cherish that
Piece of your heart forever
And that one day, you can
Give yourself to them entirely.
Soon you realize that you
Were wrong for thinking that
They would love you and that
Your heart meant something.
The rejection stings and you
Place your heart back in it’s
Sealed box and tell yourself
That you won't open it for anyone.
But the hope blooms over and
Over again and each time
You open the box and take
A small piece of your heart
Out, only to have it rejected.
Then someone gives you
A piece of their heart and
You treat it the way you
Always wished yours would
Have been.
You decide that you
Can trust them with everything
You are and open that box
Once more.
But you find it empty and covered
In dust.
Feb 8, 2016
Feb 8, 2016 at 2:54 PM UTC
I sit there,
The only smell
The wine on my
Mother's breath while
She complains about her life.
She blames me for all of it;
My dad leaving us,
Guys not being interested,
Not making enough money.
I've tried and tried
But she still won't care
About them…
Or me.
I watch my siblings
All day each day.
I take them out of the
House when she gets
Drunk or high.
I don't ask for anything
In return.
I want her to acknowledge
That she messed me up,
She is an unfit mother,
She is selfish and cares
Only about men and drugs.
I want her to acknowledge
That I am the mother,
Not her.
I tuck the kids in at night.
I help them with homework.
I go to school events.
Where is she?
Sometimes I don't even know.
She’ll come home at midnight,
Stumbling her way about the
House with the smell of wine
On her breath.
Feb 8, 2016
Feb 8, 2016 at 2:35 PM UTC
I gently place the shards of glass back into
The frame
And ignore the way their jagged edges cut
My hands.
Feb 5, 2016
Feb 5, 2016 at 8:25 AM UTC
I see that the jealousy was
Unhealthy and
That him being overprotective
Was scary.
Back then I made excuses for
His actions,
But I know now that he was
Completely wrong.
I should have been able to go
Out when I wanted
And not feel guilty for being
Happy without him.
I should have been his equal,
Not his inferior.
I should have been who I wanted
To be,
Not who he told me I had to.
Feb 5, 2016
Feb 5, 2016 at 8:06 AM UTC