Allusions to the mind, causes sorrow for the heart, someone hoping to die before they see who they really are, looks at the phone and throws it, saying there's no hope for him in life or love, he wants to grab that knife, ignorant is the word but refuses to use it, bc it's so close to home it feels like knives stabbing right through him, lied to so many times he got numb, naturally happy is what has become, but it's happiness to the numbing unaware of it, he doesn't wanna wake, he just wants to be a kid, doesn't want his dream for he's afraid it'll slip away, just like everything else, trying to avoid his creator to become himself, and he's just human, even though he forgave he could never forget the memory of him leaving, cant you see why his hearts bleeding, why he keeps seeing these demons, and even though he wants to get out he stays bc he's now numb to the pain,

A lot of times
I wanna scream
Attempt of suicide
Is a dream
Sick of all the lies
And these empty promises
Surrounded by
All these fakes
Just thinkin
When can I get out of here
When we should love we just fight
Not realizing
That we hurt
Use to cry myself to sleep
But now I'm numb
And I don't even take drugs
I'm in my bed
I hear them fight
I turn around
into the pillow
AAAHHHHHHH!

You're always there for me
To keep me strong
Always encouraging
The right not wrong
Always a friend to me
The best one forever
Whenever I am feeling sad u pick me up and make me glad
Whenever I struggle you pull me along
Out of the shadows here you come
Always like the man I never seen
The one that balances my family
But you always believe that you will be short lived
Only to keep peace between ourselves
Never to feel a drop of happiness
Staying away from the brightness
Even though you've grown ten feet tall
You still act as you're two inches small
And you think that you're soul is gone
For a soul t never leaves your side
It may grow smaller than you
For it doesn't one what to do
But it's ok soldier just be strong
Because you still got you're heart beating strong
And you're mind to keep you on
You are who you want to be
Never change for anybody
That is the message you gave to me
In the car when you talk to me
Once you open your eyes
And actually breath
You will see all of the beauty
My real thoughts of my brother

I know,
When we first met,
I was shy,
But you were too,
I guess that's how the connection met,
You and I,
Staring off like its a contest boo,
Remember that's what I use to call you,
When we were together,
You can feel the love between you and I,
When we kissed,
It was like fireworks goin off,
Boom by boom,
One by one,
Look at dem sparks,
It was so magical,
A long distant romance,
And when I looked into your eyes,
Your eyes were so pretty,
That even the goddess Aphrodite couldn't say she was more beautiful
****,
How couldn't I of realized I was lucky to be which you boo,
But then I was a punk too,
But now my acts clean,
And that's no lie,
I hope this message gets to you,
And boo,
I still miss you

Someone I use to say I love
Someone I use to say I wanna be
But now I look at it with eyes with blades
I use to blame u for the reason that I quit
On happiness and the only thing that made me
Now I locked myself up
Not one tear every leaves
Now my hatred for you is as hard as my fist
Now I wish how u would leave
Bc at least then I hope I'll see straight
Hopefully be happy another day
Abuse of alcohol and drugs
Trying to pick 18 year olds when you're 40
Only thinking of himself
And I think
I wanted to be like this
Be a drug addict who abuses alcohol
And try's to get girls my age
Divided by 2
Now I realize I was blinded and that won't happen again
Keep my back against the wall and slugging fools
Not thinking about walking bc once I do
Well then someone can come up from behind and end me there
And whenever I look in a mirror I wanna scream
Disgusted by what I see
I can't believe it
He very thing I despise if become
**** how could this happen
Disappointed suicide seems like an option
Wait till alone
Grabs a knife
And goes to cut
Stops and breaks down crying
Alone

He doesn't know what to say
And usually he find something quick and witty
When he's  with her he can feel the clouds disappear
And it makes him wanna smile
But then smacked by reality that its a dream
A part of mind that puts him at rest for once
A restless soul he is but don't say
Night he must stay in
Otherwise he'll be cut down from his roots
He knows its not fair and that  it's  life
How people take what they can
And run with what's closest
Every night he goes to sleep hoping he took to much mental NyQuil
Finally be at rest
A mind state that he can say he appreciates
But he's the night
A humble warrior who suffers with quiet scars
A tear roles down his face
I wake up
To find out it was me

Just one more spin
One more twirl
So we can have a chance
Shut out for reasons unknown
Stop talking bc my pride is hurt
Unaware how she feels
Making it worse
Fading away
Love is my Brute I
At every chance it gets I get stabbed
I stumble
I fall
Wanting to give up
But I think of you and I start to crawl
Walk
Run
Then jump
Looking for a place called home
When I look at you I see
But at "home" I feel misplaced
Not loved to a ****** up dad that does nothing but mess up
I just want to hold you tonight and try not to let go
But my strength is as strong as my faith
I call it a ruin
But while the stars are out and I'm home
My faith is like the star shinning bright