I still hate you by the way.

But today's about something different.

It’s a toss up between

valiant hero and dead *******.

Wish I could be the hero

but looks like I’m going to end up the dead *******.

****, I guess my legs aren't working quite right lately.
I'm taking awkward steps you know.
Some big, some small,
and they're all mixed up.
And I don't seem to be going in any direction at all.
Some times I go right, then sometimes left.
And I walk backwards. A lot.
A whole lot.
Some big steps, some small steps,
even when I'm walking backwards.
Just imagine how tough that is.

I'm going to have to get used to the way you breathe.
Sort of heavy and fast.
Surprising for such a small girl.
I like it though.
I like your skin too,
it's soft.
My hands move so lightly on your skin.
I'm going to have to get used to that.

Don't go in the water with him.
My bathtub is filled and warm.
The ocean is too cold.
Please do not go in the water with him.
Look, Look, I have bubbles,
he only has foam.
Do not, do not, do not, go in the water with him.
I, will carve into my chest for you
and tint my water red.
Don't ******* go in the water with him!
I have the deepest tub, and the warmest water.
Why don't you understand?
My tub is full and warm and red,
but even as i scream your back is turned to me.
Your smile aimed, pointed at the wrong, wrong, wrong person.
I'll wait for you,
pitying my self in my deep, warm, red water
with a skewed smile.

Hit me i deserve it
everything I did makes me deserve it
Hit me I deserve your punch.
A punch, not a slap.
I want a closed fist.
Really clenched, tight tight tight.
and BOOM!
full power.
I'd prefer lower left Jaw,
but anywhere is fine.

The sun is up,
it's beautiful.
My window pane is no barrier for such a force.
My clock is reset,
my eye lids are up.
Extending my limbs past my head
my ears get momentarily cloudy.
When I sit up,
it's beautiful.
My window pane is hardly a barrier for such a force.
A sibling's groan,
It means they're up.
Thank you sun for setting my clock.
My window pane is hardly a barrier for your grace.
I feel heavy,
but my eye lids are up.
My mother died this morning.

You can't quit now
you've come too far.
A tear is a tear
but this thing is a beast.
Tears will do nothing
but set you back paces
and drugs only go so far.
You can't forget you have a heart.
Fight it with heart.
Lets the tears be tears,
but fight it with heart.