All I know is the fight going on inside of me.
There's always war being waged.
But I've gotten lost in the beauty that is you.
The battle now is of you.
The aching in my chest won't recede.
Armies fighting near my heart, making me cry tears of blood.
Hear this now,
the battle is near over.
As for the war?
I shall not know for a few days longer.
I shall not know until the moment my eyes are laid upon you.
I shall not know until the very second I touch you.
All things will be clear.
The dust will have settled.
There will be one defined winner.

I find myself looking around,
Searching for your eyes.
I won’t find them here, though.
But it feels like I should.
It’s a different world here.
It’s like I’m living in two different worlds.
One is here, in this city, eternally seeking you.
The other is back there, home, where you are.
I want you to be here.
My comfort level would increase insurmountably.
And then this throbbing in my chest might recede.
And then this feeling of tears nearby would diminish.
And then this ache for you would be eliminated.

I've sat and stared at that one word so long, it has lost its meaning.
Love: its taste in my mouth as it rolls off my tongue sends shivers down my soul.
Your smile: its beauty is radiant enough to bring warmth to my ever cooling core.
You: you relit the flame inside me, but now you've nearly blown it out.
you didn't mean to, I know, yet here I lie, embers where a volcano once erupted.

Love.
In Love.
I am in Love.
I am desperately in Love.
I am desperately in Love with you.
I am desperately in Love with you, so much, it breaks me in two.
I am desperately in Love with you.
I am desperately in Love.
I am in Love.
In Love.
Love.

I ache for relief.
I ache for you.
I ache for so many things I'm not allowed.
I shouldn't ache for you, not any longer.
I shouldn't ache for relief, not any longer.
Yet,
The ache is still ever-present in me.
I ache for what had been between you and I.
I ache for what had been seven and a half months ago, before you, before relief became a thing of the past.
I ache for stability.
I ache for you.
Can't you feel me?!
Can you feel anything?
I'm not sure I can anymore.
All I'm left with is this aching inside my bones.
All I'm left with is this horrendous trembling in my muscles.
All I'm left with are memories of days gone by.
All I'm left with are unfruitful days without you.

Talk,
To me.
Tell Me,
the things you've kept locked up for weeks.
Please,
I beg of you to open up.
But,
As I type this you become more closed off.
I Feel,
believe it or not I do.
I bleed,
that too.
I won't,
Bleed for you though.
Not,
In that way.
I won't,
Ruin myself that way yet again.
I won't,
Betray my hard-won stability for a little relief.

I want to break through the barriers.
I want to break through to you.
It's you whom I crave to touch.
It's you whom I dream about.
I want to burst through the walls.
I want to see you.

I only want you, forever.
I'd be happy to see maple irises 'til the end.
Your smile ignites a fire in me previously unknown.
Your smile makes a piece of me turn to flame from ice.
You melt all the tough in me.
You melt all the ice and rock inside this shell.

I will fight for you.
I don't want this to be the end.
Please,
Hear me.
Hear my soul crying out for you.
Feel its pain at unfortunate prospects.
Feel its love for a person that I want to hold so badly.
Hear me when I tell you I love you.