Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
Emmy Dawn Feb 2017
it's been a while
I don't feel the angst anymore
most of the time
but some days I wake up
and feel that existing is a crime

I have goals
there are places I need to get to
my future is in front of me
but it's hard to get up
I don't know how to be

I don't feel like a "real" adult
in fact, I don't feel real at all
routines play out the same
but I want it to be different
change is blocked by shame

but if I could just paint with a hand
claw the pigment beneath my nails again
it'd be creativity unplanned

but I'm tired of trying
I want effortless success,
a gift for all my endless prying

but I won't find that
because in places I've been,
there's not much to look at
Emmy Dawn Dec 2016
Last time I went to the doctor
I was prescribed prozac
Because my heartburn was a symptom of purging
Instead of misplaced acid
One pill to stop the thoughts from urging?
Seems like a plug to a hole
In a poorly designed boat
that could barely float in the first place
The water is the least of my problems
Honestly I’d like just one saving grace
I completely lack discipline
How could I not get addicted?
Another need to prevent going mad
Growing darker and more fragile
Like a fruit going bad
Emmy Dawn Feb 2016
My swollen face looks ugly in your mirror
I feel like my tears water my own personal hatred garden
and you pick its flowers
Maybe you should
New dirt is better than my drowning stems
I do not believe the sun is real, any more
And if it comes back it will burn us alive
Emmy Dawn Sep 2015
i don't know what i want any more
there's a bitter taste in my mouth
and french kisses don't even fix it
apparently i've developed a tolerance
to sweet breath and a tongue on my ****
take my hand or my waist
either way is a waste of time
i don't think i'll ever be good
i've tried to be nice
and i was misunderstood
Emmy Dawn Jul 2015
I feel like I'm constantly unraveling my own knots;
I've got cords filing every space inside me
they wrap around each *****, squeezing as they please.
I cannot ask for them to disappear, or even to unknot.
I only wish to understand them,
or at least find a place in this maze of tangles to own sanity.
I want to stop fidgeting,
******* between the loops,
trying to find an escape through them.
It is hard to uncoil a strong grasp on reality,
especially when it is
Emmy Dawn Apr 2015
It is strange to realize
that pleasures feel sharper
when you are broken
The taste of tears
is refreshing
to a dry tongue
And if you don't
believe me
touch your bruises
Feel the colors
of your sorrows
and tell me there is no beauty
In potential tomorrows
Emmy Dawn Apr 2015
I really tried to let my nails grow out
but I just had to bite them
Waiting is simply not a skill of mine
I will admit that patience should be desired
but I will not lie and say I am fine
I took three baths today
I tried to scrub away my sadness
but the water was quickly soiled,
my body dissolving
in a tub of the burnt and boiled  
I left a trail of wet feet on old tile
and fell into my nest of isolation
I can't be bothered to even get dressed
Because it's just another day of nothing,
and yet I am incurably stressed
Next page