I see the world in rainbow colored glasses
Focusing on the bright boldness that is life
Rather than it's shades of gray
There is not a day in monochrome for everything is always changing
Shifting in and out of blues and greens
Every color in between
And what better way to love it all than to see all it's patterns fall
Beyond the rose tinted frame.

I feel like my mind runs into itself quite often
Like the never ending thoughts overlap into each other until
One either collapses and gives heed to another
Or subsides like a wave to wash back over me when I least expect it
Its why I branch into a topic touching just the bare breath
Before ******* back into the racing void of thoughts that tumble
Like dominos one by one into each other in a chaotic jumble of half formed ideas
Which spread into streams of consciousness that seem to go on forever in a breadth to long for a single breath of air to make vocal.
This is why I feel grammar, or really the English language has never been my friend.

Insomnia has fallen into my bed again
Taken the blankets and run away with the night
Like a bandit it guards it
Like Smaug it refuses to share
Flaunting its peacock feathers
Unobtainable
Elusive
Some exotic creature prowling the dark
Letting loose its seductive calls
While I sit here
Eyes crusted and stinging
Doing anything to still the anxious
Vibrations of my mind

Have you ever been so hopelessly
Lost in a moment
Intranced by something so far gone it seems to detach from you
And wander like it has its own mind.
Echoing the stachato of feet so far down the stairs that the way back looks like a tunnel
Of never ending shapes
So distinteresting from the vividity
That is the present thought
That you dream that you did not have to wake to the reality of the now
Like a kid looking through a window on Christmas eve all that bottled happiness lays behind the wall of the mind.
I often find myself window shopping down that hall
Hoping for a taste of what was
Aching to catch her before she gets to far away.

In the quiet
I hear the mumbling sounds of muffled words
The voices of strangers
Not close enough to understand
But the vibration
The tinkering richness that comes from spoken word
Flicker across the drum
Quick
Like sounds of life outside a car window
It vanishes
He hears it too, shooting off
A rocket across the bed
His soul green eyes flinging off the light of headlights
Ears stretched wide
It comes again
My mind straightens up
The body ridged..
Hoping to hear that mad sound again
Wanting it to make sense
Like so many t.v. shows
Debunk the mystery..
It does not return..and only the goose flesh
Plus the sentry movement of yet another feline convinces me it was real..

I feel as though I am walking
Though my steps I cannot see
No direction
No center
A path uncertainty
A circle
A  square
No shape I can discern
I feel as though I'm walking
But is it forward or back
In a life of lucid dreaming it's hard to keep track.

I wake from a dreamless sleep, or what I
think to be dreamless
Leaves a lingering feeling of terror, doubt, or anxiety
Like my mind doesn't want to deal with the left overs
So it cuts it off midway
Amputates the whole stream of thought
Till only whisps of what could have been remains
Behind forgotten like so many things in life
So many small moments that are not recorded or erased to save space
For what we think is important
Like numbers and codes to social media that if we are honest with ourselve
Doesn't make us feel anyless alone in our
Completely individual lives
That are copied and pasted from a mold of individuality.