Time isn't wasted at the end of the day
When you're in bed thinking about all the things
You could've done,
You could've said,
All the empty boxes left on your to do list

Time is wasted
When you're standing on a rock at the edge of a waterhole
And decide to not jump
When you're sitting in your car trying to justify reasons
For not going in
When you anxiously hit backspace
Instead of expressing how you truly feel
When you ignore your heart that's screaming
"You deserve better."

It's lost in I could have and I should have,
In missed opportunities,
In letting fears override judgement

Time is not necessarily wasted
In passing minutes, months, years
We waste time by
Counting seconds,
And by letting seconds pass
When we could've made
Those seconds count

even if i tried
i would not be capable of
erasing your touch
because your fingerprints are
all over my body

your breath still haunts my skin,
burns me
like uncontrollable flames
and as the pain
s l o w l y
turns into such pleasure
my heart starts to hunger
for more attention

*(k.w)

we were meant                            
to make each other
happy
but we were not
meant to be
together

*(k.w)

when i look at the dazzling stars
i become the past
because every mortal ball of dust
is attached to my chest
it makes me a part of history
and a part of you
too

*(k.w)

i used to be the girl who didn't eat,
the girl with the voice in the back of her mind tell her awful things about herself
i was the girl who didn't want anyone elses help
refused it
the way my friends looked at me
made me proud
proud to know i knew something they didn't
proud to know i was hiding something
often they'd ask
"are you hungry?"
"why aren't you eating?"
"you're not turning anorexic are you?"
and even coming from your friends those words can hurt
and you can shake it off
smirk it off
walk away
but knowing a little of that was a bit of truth made me all clear to you
they knew
they said
"i'm only trying to help"
yeah trying to help me get fat
i thought
those demons in my mind
the way i looked at myself in the mirror
all i saw
HATE
my legs
to huge
hated them
my stomach
brings me back to that summer day
i was ready
ready to swim
and was finally feeling confident
had just bought a new bikini and was so excited
put my new bikini on
and my cousin comes in and says
"you're stomach is disgusting'
do you know how that feels to have someone say you're stomach is disgusting
made me feel ******
made me feel insecure
as insecure as id ever been
i covered up from there on
i stayed in
i made sure no one saw me
i kept cover
and until this day
i'm still that girl
with the thoughts that haunt me and tell me
"no one hates you more than you hate yourself"
"you're stomach is disgusting"
"you're fat, worthless, useless"
and until this day i struggle with the reality of ever living up to MY reality
of looking in the mirror and seeing what i want to see
and dreading the fact that ill never be
the girl with the pretty smile, so skinny and perky personality
and even those girls
have so much (on the inside) you don't see

(i) was fascinated

but
people, we, have been taught
that we (can) have what ever we want
if we want it just enough
so we let greed fill our lungs
blur our eyes
even though
we know
deep down
we should have been told
that we can (not) have
what does not belong to us

i was fascinated,
scared as well,
because
in between your mind games
and confident smiles
a hidden part of you were shared
uncertain
you let me in

but
we, people, can not (have)
what does not belong to us
i whispered
so i sent (you)
away

*(k.w)