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Emma May 2014
how do i turn

e v e r y



o f f?
Emma Apr 2014
i don't ever want you
to let me go


i don't know
if you really have me
at all
Emma Apr 2014
i want to go back
f o u r months
and stay tucked between the sheets
in the comfort of the unknown
before i met you-
before you changed me-
before you ruined me

i want to go back
s i x months
and beg you to stay-
to grovel at your feet
and make me okay
before i let you slip away-
before i let me lose my way

i want to go back
1 0 months
to know what i now know
before you changed my mind-
before you brought me back to life

i want to go back
f o u r t e e n years
and freeze time-
to be innocent-
before my light
turned dark-
to know not
what i now know-
before my mind met

i want to go back
t w e n t y years
and erase the future-
to erase the pain-

b a c k before coming to existence
in a place measured by time-
before life was an en  d    l    e     s        s stretch
and death was a goal-
before life was a burden-
before knowing a meaningless existence-
before corruption consumed me

but truly
i need to go back
ten months-
when you,
only you
were capable of soothing my thoughts-
when you pulled me out of the dark
to show me the light
as if the sun was suspended
in a endless night sky

i need to go back
six months-
and tell you to stay-
to tell you that when you leave
i, too, would go away-

just six months-
before i let who i was with you
before i welcomed the negativity-
before i let it consume me-
before i met the boy who **ruined me
Emma Apr 2014
where is my head?
it has disappeard
it's been picked and prodded
it's been shattered and knotted

come find me

i'm l o s t
endlessly searching
for any thoughts
Emma Apr 2014
trying to push
sound out of silence
is a daunting task

for words,
for sound,
for noise,

for you

because I will
endlessly listen
to the cacophony,
the racket
surrounding me
until it is no longer
just noise
I hear

but your voice
in my ears

I will spend
the rest of time
waiting for the silence
to turn to sound
silence is the absence of sound
but is it silence if i still hear you in every thought
Emma Apr 2014
we are all lost
blindly searching for meaning
in a life where meaning is
a nine-five job,
a house left alone,
an engine for mobility

does the search ever end?

is being lost
hopelessly for death?

is being lost
the potential
to live?

really just that?

is it anything at all?
n o t h i n g .

is it an escape?

is searching for meaning
being astray?
being found?
or created?

created from the pursuit,
from the struggle,
*from the meaningless
glide from moment
to moment
knowing only
that death is certain
Emma Mar 2014
where did i go?
where there was once
ravenous light
there is now only
a soft, dull, burning  glow
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