no matter what i do, what i say
it's, it's never quite enough.
I stood up for you, made my self look stupid defending you
I tried helping you, I got you help
rubbed your back when you were upset
made you laugh when you were *******
reminded you of the light at the end of the tunnel
were there for you when you needed a friend
kept you from losing another friend
and all i get is sass, attitude, a look that could ****
you talk to someone for a week
and she is queen of the hill

it's thrill of almost falling
but, not quite on the edge
of looking down and, your heart, it skips a beat
it's the fear, making your heart race
it's the scare factor ,at an all time high
and it makes you feel...alive

I sit here in the rain
in puddles of my own tears
it's been years, 17 to be exact
since i saw you last
I can hear what what I think is your voice,
here in the rain
it washes away the pain
maybe it's my mind playing tricks,
but I think i can hear your laugh
sitting here in the rain
the mud is thick
so here I will sit
till it washes the pain away

The daily despise for many
Morning delight for a few
The few who see the truth,
the worth, the value

the old-hearted
trapped in youth
the thirsty for knowledge
the ones who need to know
the natural born sleuths
the scientist
the ones who ask why

these are the few
who see dingy halls
and see success
this mind set puts them above the rest
these are the few
who see the truth

The next exercise of the day will be......

A mind game, is what they should say
A game where you push
And push, push ups and push yourself

A game where mind over matter
Is no longer a saying, its prayer

A game where in your mind, you remind
Yourself its all for the greater good

A game where "i wish i could"
Becomes i can and will

A game where pain is welcome in your legs
Because you love it there, you put it there

A game where you push so hard
Your vision is blurry and so are your limits

The next exercise of the day will be
Pushing the limit

I never understood love being a drug
but i get it, i know you are no good
that everytime i get high
I know, I know i should
say no and tell you good bye
but you mean well
my friends watch in worry
as I bleed by heart out for you
I watch and i wait
wondering if i fell for your bait
if i'm just a pretty face
I give and give and all you do is take
I won't be mad, not one who hates
so i come back, and back, and back again
to your toxic love of more than a friend

Some things,
Are so engraved in you
You carve them into your skin

There's something about the way you talk
the way you turn and look at me
like I'm made of glass
Careful not to let me fall
break into a million pieces
but glass is strong
and so am I
but you don't always see it
because glass isn't as clear as we think

I can sit here for hours
and think about thought
the phenomenon that takes place in the minds of ours
and by sitting for hours
I've got a part figured out
*If you are thinking about the act of thinking,
are you think about thinking,
or thinking about thought?

I must be confused
because I never thought I'd see you again
I gave up long ago, I've let it go
and here you are
the past has caught up
because your here, standing right in front of me
and I see it in your eyes that you recognize me
but your not quite sure how, why
How could you not remember?
the Saturday swims, Trampoline tricks
Friday night Family movie
the long Tuesday nights a the studio?
How could you not remember?
we called ourselves sisters

you always come back
but the timings never right
but maybe this time it is
but i'm torn
between certainty and spontaneity
my mind says don't hurt him
my mind says stop
my mind makes me feel guilty
but my hearts torn in two
because i care for him so much
but im sure its always been you
for four years i looked longing at the unattainable
and now that you are attainable i don't know what to do
I always said what if
but never thought it through

It was always so obvious
That our act Was never an act
But the materialization of desire

Everyone knew, but we were blind
Too scared we would mess up
Too scared the other was out of reach
Too scared of denial

When in reality the other was feeling it too
The urge to say i love you and mean it
The urge to grab the other at lowest point
pull them up to be the skyscraper they are
The way we always saw eachother

We always yearned to hold one another
Empty space between our arms
Filled with people of lesser affection
Until we could no longer deny the truth
The urge to hold hands and say i love you
Too strong to fight. false affecions
started to smothered our light

So we let go of what we thought we knew
And reached for the unknown
An unknown Truth of i love you

He once manipulated me
Twisted and turned me
Like an indian burn
Little did id know id take my turn
I didn't want to hurt you
But hurt is all I've known
But you hurt me too
You lied and hid
I did what he did to me to you
You say to not be mad
Not to beat myself up
But seeing you hurt makes me sad
We had a chance but we ****** it up
Because all i knew was hurt
And all you knew was lies
And even when we laid side by side
Our views were twisted

I can be tired too
I am in fact human
I do indeed feel sleepiness
I do indeed feel sorrow
but why dwell on sorrow if we are not promised tomarow