Have you ever Heard a silence
so deafening It screams

How about a room so empty
Your crowded thoughts consume you

A love so strong
You wonder if its even true

A man so perfect
You can't believe he chose you

A sky so blue
You wonder the name of the hue

A heart so pained
That its numb

A love so true
Theres no way it was meant for  you

Hate is strong, scary
Its hard work to hate
Time and effort
Such a human emotion
Whats scariest is disregard
Not giving a ****
Because at least if you hate
You're thinking you care
Disregard is animalistic
Its child like
Its the monsters under your bed
The ones you hated but you now ignore

Her grip still holds you
hindering you from going
his hands still linger
keeping me from feeling

she controlled you
your words, your friends, your action
he lead me
lead me to believe what i didn't

she infected you
and the infection has spread
he hurt me
and the bruises aren't healing

she,he
she poisoned your mind
he's venom in my veins
they played us like pieces in their games

I must be confused
because I never thought I'd see you again
I gave up long ago, I've let it go
and here you are
the past has caught up
because your here, standing right in front of me
and I see it in your eyes that you recognize me
but your not quite sure how, why
How could you not remember?
the Saturday swims, Trampoline tricks
Friday night Family movie
the long Tuesday nights a the studio?
How could you not remember?
we called ourselves sisters

it's thrill of almost falling
but, not quite on the edge
of looking down and, your heart, it skips a beat
it's the fear, making your heart race
it's the scare factor ,at an all time high
and it makes you feel...alive

Some things,
Are so engraved in you
You carve them into your skin

There's something about the way you talk
the way you turn and look at me
like I'm made of glass
Careful not to let me fall
break into a million pieces
but glass is strong
and so am I
but you don't always see it
because glass isn't as clear as we think

The next exercise of the day will be......

A mind game, is what they should say
A game where you push
And push, push ups and push yourself

A game where mind over matter
Is no longer a saying, its prayer

A game where in your mind, you remind
Yourself its all for the greater good

A game where "i wish i could"
Becomes i can and will

A game where pain is welcome in your legs
Because you love it there, you put it there

A game where you push so hard
Your vision is blurry and so are your limits

The next exercise of the day will be
Pushing the limit

Every mirror should be framed because each relection is a masterpiece

I never understood love being a drug
but i get it, i know you are no good
that everytime i get high
I know, I know i should
say no and tell you good bye
but you mean well
my friends watch in worry
as I bleed by heart out for you
I watch and i wait
wondering if i fell for your bait
if i'm just a pretty face
I give and give and all you do is take
I won't be mad, not one who hates
so i come back, and back, and back again
to your toxic love of more than a friend

sketch ups and coffee cups
a gentleman with craftsman's hands
a Ryan Gossling in a cheap  blazer
lofty dreams and hard labor
early mornings with coffee cups
late nights with endless sketch ups
eyes tired from late nights
a fairy tale and the knight
a nervous smile at pin up
pat on the back to cheer up
no cream but to sugars
the autumn chill creates shivers
early mornings with sunrises
just kids in architect guises
a love for paper and her
for  SIM and for him
fueled by coffee cups
and early morning sketch ups

you always come back
but the timings never right
but maybe this time it is
but i'm torn
between certainty and spontaneity
my mind says don't hurt him
my mind says stop
my mind makes me feel guilty
but my hearts torn in two
because i care for him so much
but im sure its always been you
for four years i looked longing at the unattainable
and now that you are attainable i don't know what to do
I always said what if
but never thought it through

It was always so obvious
That our act Was never an act
But the materialization of desire

Everyone knew, but we were blind
Too scared we would mess up
Too scared the other was out of reach
Too scared of denial

When in reality the other was feeling it too
The urge to say i love you and mean it
The urge to grab the other at lowest point
pull them up to be the skyscraper they are
The way we always saw eachother

We always yearned to hold one another
Empty space between our arms
Filled with people of lesser affection
Until we could no longer deny the truth
The urge to hold hands and say i love you
Too strong to fight. false affecions
started to smothered our light

So we let go of what we thought we knew
And reached for the unknown
An unknown Truth of i love you

He once manipulated me
Twisted and turned me
Like an indian burn
Little did id know id take my turn
I didn't want to hurt you
But hurt is all I've known
But you hurt me too
You lied and hid
I did what he did to me to you
You say to not be mad
Not to beat myself up
But seeing you hurt makes me sad
We had a chance but we ****** it up
Because all i knew was hurt
And all you knew was lies
And even when we laid side by side
Our views were twisted

I can be tired too
I am in fact human
I do indeed feel sleepiness
I do indeed feel sorrow
but why dwell on sorrow if we are not promised tomarow