Crimson light -

spin me sideways and
around the bends
that are the journey
of life

this path that I must walk
compass buried deep in my veins

lead me from love that is conditional
and into the centre of a heart that melts
in the morning

above all, shower me in moon dust
so that I may feel I’ve walked the craters
that are the surface of my soul

praise me
for I am a woman of wonderment
ever walking, never stopping

breath in
breath out

destination irrelevant to the holes in my shoes
that are the battle scars it took for me

to reach it

I learn from the love letters

I find hidden under the floorboards
of an ancient house

the paper yellowed, ink faded, but still…
fierce traces of passion and longing trapped
in their pages

they teach me fidelity,
when it is the last thing I want to know

they teach me kindness,
when cruelty is the mistress of my heart

they teach me that love can survive overwhelming odds

and so when I fold them up up and replace them
knowing I shall probably be the last to hold
these letters, that speak of beautiful courage
and compassion

I walk out of that ruined house,
whole and healed

ready to open my heart
to love

sweet whispers of nothingness

in the midnight blue chasm of my heart

I reach out for you -

fingers contorted with rage and wonder

gasping for that final touch

that you have denied me

“Don’t leave things like this.”

You said,

but you don’t get to choose anymore

your black rose soul that kept me
transfixed for so long

your deep ocean blue enchanting eyes
that told stories as old as the seas
with just a concentrated stare through me

well, those spells have broken
and I will leave you how I like

I could do it in ashes and glass, if I wanted
but I just want to quietly exit, stage left
and leave the petty performance you call love

Rising from the dead lilies
of your forgiveness

blood on my knees and mud in my hair

the eery calm of plucked daffodils

yellow stains on my fingers
that I can’t remember where they came from

except the shower of petals at my feet
giving away my crime

I do not forgive you

I want to destroy your peony soul
with acid rain

I am bitter like the month of February

biting frost
chilling wind
freezing rain

I am all extremes
and you can eat the dirt of your sorry

Fear Him, they said,
fear for your mortal soul,

but fire is the Devil’s only weapon,
and I do not fear it,

for I have built my home out of flames,
warmed my feet against the bricks
in the deep months of winter,

struck matches against my skin
to see if I could withstand the agony

of being burnt,

and now I know, I can.

so I wrap my fingers round his horns,
and invite him to tea,

for I do not fear that,
which cannot hurt me

The ocean roars around us

and in it I hear the call of the deity
who sent you to me

begging me to trust you beyond
trust’s breaking point

emplourinig me to take your hand in mine
and twist our fingers into patters
to shadow against the midnight sky

and I will, I will, hold on

let the waves crash at our bare feet
and walk away from this beach,
entwined in your spine

believing
believing
believing

in the Goddess of you