“Don’t leave things like this.”

You said,

but you don’t get to choose anymore

your black rose soul that kept me
transfixed for so long

your deep ocean blue enchanting eyes
that told stories as old as the seas
with just a concentrated stare through me

well, those spells have broken
and I will leave you how I like

I could do it in ashes and glass, if I wanted
but I just want to quietly exit, stage left
and leave the petty performance you call love

Rising from the dead lilies
of your forgiveness

blood on my knees and mud in my hair

the eery calm of plucked daffodils

yellow stains on my fingers
that I can’t remember where they came from

except the shower of petals at my feet
giving away my crime

I do not forgive you

I want to destroy your peony soul
with acid rain

I am bitter like the month of February

biting frost
chilling wind
freezing rain

I am all extremes
and you can eat the dirt of your sorry

Fear Him, they said,
fear for your mortal soul,

but fire is the Devil’s only weapon,
and I do not fear it,

for I have built my home out of flames,
warmed my feet against the bricks
in the deep months of winter,

struck matches against my skin
to see if I could withstand the agony

of being burnt,

and now I know, I can.

so I wrap my fingers round his horns,
and invite him to tea,

for I do not fear that,
which cannot hurt me

The ocean roars around us

and in it I hear the call of the deity
who sent you to me

begging me to trust you beyond
trust’s breaking point

emplourinig me to take your hand in mine
and twist our fingers into patters
to shadow against the midnight sky

and I will, I will, hold on

let the waves crash at our bare feet
and walk away from this beach,
entwined in your spine

believing
believing
believing

in the Goddess of you

reject the peace offering

if in your heart you demand
bare bones, raw and reckless love

if you want their eyes to bleed
with red hot passion

when they gaze into yours

if you want their fingers to burn
when they touch you

because you, my darling, are on fire

reject the peace offering
if chaotic love sits easier in your soul

Autumn came
and swept away the debris
that was clinging to my heart

making space for the roots of winter
that will test its resolve

in bitter frosts and pines

but ultimately -
the space is made for Spring blooms

daffodils and peonies

that will hold its hand and teach it
how to love again

your weak breath tickles my ear,
with fading heat, like a September afternoon,

and I hate myself just as much as you hate me,

for my greed and loyalty to the cards,
instead of the stars that were your eyes,

but your heart was impenetrable, always,
like Everest or the Atlantic Ocean,

I could not get close enough to touch it
and make it mine,

close enough to make you mine,

so hate me, and I’ll hate myself,
but I’ll know my faults wondering
if you’ll ever accept yours

in return