like a frightened bird
clinging to the bars
of its cage

desperate for flight
and freedom

but too scared
to leave

the safety of
its cell

is how I feel
when I'm with you

I hope I can be the one to let go
if love decides to let go of me

not cling to broken threads

like a desperate dancer
trying to correct their misstep

I hope I am graceful enough
to let the last embers of love
slip through my fingers, like ash

knowing that things can rise
out of ashes

like phoenixes

or flame haired
women of fire

she walked in the shoes
of the prince who charmed her,

blood smeared black leather
and frayed laces,

she did not mean to
destroy him,

but she learnt too late
that life was not like a fairytale

and her happy ending could only
end in the ******

of the one who claimed to
love her

but if he loved her
why would he have

pulled her hair out, stand by strand
until the pain made her blind,

took a knife and twisted it
in her chest until her

heart split its arteries

and bled

and bled

and bled

but she patched up the damaged
and returned the favour,

and now she walks away
from her tainted bedroom

away from her dying, bleeding prince

undefeated and proud

in the shoes of a dead man,
making freedom out of chains

the stars dissolved
in your eyes
a hand lay over mine
and I was unafraid
of the darkness
that surrounded me
the wind whispering
silently through the trees
the ocean rolling away
the years that lay between
us and death

and yet, we slept
in that dark, windy night
like babies, in each others arms
knowing that the storm would come
and wash away every impurity on our skin
every blemish, every wrinkle
would fade

and we would rise from our beds, in the morning
clean again

its teeth have sunk into my neck
like vampire fangs

bloodthirsty- draining the life out of me

unwashed hair, cold coffee,
wild, impenetrable dreams

I am at its mercy, once again

I cannot claim the he is unfamiliar,
every few weeks, he visits
through my carelessly left open window

and feasts,

he is the familiar beast
of darkness,

I do not know how to shake him off,

the pills don’t work
the ******* skills don’t work
(like the doctor’s say the should)

I’m just left with my familiar foe,
drinking my blood until I’m

.....empty

there’s a wild, hungry pain in my heart

that longs for your fingertips
to brush lightly through my hair

a reckless sorrow that longs
to scream at the moon, like a wolf
and find a place for its song among the stars

a sleepless malice that knows no bounds
of misery to inflict on my soul

wild heart, sweet sorrow, mad malice...

please add up the sum of my parts,
and leave me whole again

even if I am whole in misery

I take my coffee
black with two sugars
and drink it at 4am
when sleep eludes me
hiding my face
behind a cigarette
staring at the smoke
hoping an apparition
will appear to guide
me through the day
because if my heart is my compass
then I will be lead astray