the ocean will always answer you, they say;
so I carve a spot on the beach to lie on and

                            listen                          ­    

the red wine is flowing between my lips
dutch courage for the things I'm frightened I'll

                             hear

the water is waking up, gentle and soft
it wraps itself a noose that nobody can see

                          except me

the rope belongs to an anchor. I am anchored to my
grief, for sure, and soon I shall be anchored to the

                         ocean floor

forever. A burial at sea, with no witnesses or mourners.
It's not lonely, for the ocean spoke to me.

                         It spoke to me.

I do not wish to break a heart -
I wish to destroy one,

to damage one so badly that it will never
beat again,

to bruise one so completely that it will never
look red again,

to snap its veins and arteries until they are
a jumbled bag of nerves,

to kick it at its centre and make it bleed
rivers of hot blood,

I am not cruel, or evil, or even angry,
I merely generously want to share
this ******* feeling

I will find you
in the darkest corner of
my heart,

wrap you in red wine
silk, amongst my secrets
and guilt,

I have crawled on broken grass
to get here. I will not stop until
each molecule of you is absorbed
into my flesh,

I will drink your sweat as if it
were an elixir for eternal life,

for I am eternal
in your arms

There is an empty bird cage
where my heart should be

it flew the nest
when it saw you

your sunflower heart, tempting it
to stray

enticing it
to stay

yellow glowed contentment
radiates

from this simple red
part of me

creating a golden union
that does not need tainting

with forevers

People will gasp
when you show them
your heart

shocked that it still beats
beneath all of its bruises

let them wonder

let them stare

forever be a mystery

to unblemished mortals

as you fly, my darling
as you soar

my heart is pounding out
the beat of the last time I saw you

your face feels like nothing more
than a delusion

so happy in my fantasy that I
even imagined myself a new

reality, that I believed would
be the case in a hundred years

you and I
standing side by side

it is nothing more than a crumbling
daydream in the endless cavity of
my mind

in the depths
of your heart
I found a
home

in the crook
of your neck
I found a
root

in which
to grow
from

like a bud
I remained
tight

until your
touch
awakened
me