I love you,
without question or condition

I hear you,
like hummingbirds in my heart

I see you,
a lone star in a midnight sky

so bright that all the others simply
vanish into the blanket of the universe,

I feel you
when I’m pressing my fingerprints
into your thighs,

passing my identity onto you
so that we can become one,

one flesh
one star
one heart
one love

I am grieving for my past selves

the selves that never made it

fractured fragments longing to be found

pockets of secrets
and black as ink truths
that I have carried with me

forever

and yet, they were tossed aside,
and burnt with the waste,
as if hazardous to continue existing

I grieve for them,
and for myself,

walking around with this
huge hole in my heart,

but I walk on, and mend, as best I can -

bandaids, staples, superglue,

repairing the cracks and yet,
having the courage to weep for what
has caused the wound

Violet skies like Elizabeth’s eyes

we are children of midnight

skipping through moondust

the stars, our breadcrumbs

littered behind us, leading us

home

to the constellation’s root

the beating, burning heart of

the sun

like the ebbing of the tides,
you have rolled away

(from me)

but I know you will creep
back up the beach of my bones,
again

and into my heart

(where you belong)

In your arms

feelings I never dared

dream

your hands

the roots of the Earth

that I plant the seeds

of my lips alongside

and water with kisses

and watch them entwine

and grow

into the blossom of Spring

You said you would die for me,
but dying is easy

I’ve done it every day for years,

stumbling into mornings that move
like treacle,

the night before spent staring blankly
at my computer screen,
or the ceiling,
or the clock,

anything but behind my own eyes,
to the insides of my mind,

dying isn’t being shot in the chest,
or some huge catastrophic event that deafens the world for a moment,

it is small acts of apathy ,
that leave you dizzy and sick,

a kiss that is not returned,
a cold shoulder in the middle
of the night,

so die for me, please,
because I’m tired of killing myself,

trying to love you

it was not difficult to love you,

like an antelope that had
outran a lion

I breathlessly fell into your arms,

safely wrapped up in the
folds of your skin,

complete in that moment
of contentment,

I loved you,

I left the evidence - my fingerprints
on your spine,

tracing my name in
chilli flake fire

rings

where we sat our coffee mugs down
as we watched the rain

fall,

each drop cementing another second
that I would spend by your side,

it was not difficult to love you
as I had never loved anyone,

as I had never loved
myself