You gave me a daffodil
now a single, shrivelled petal
resting in the palm of my hand
the forgotten promise of spring
weeping between my fingers

I remember its fragrance
something lost in the passage of time
like our love, my darling,
like our love

I watch the hours pass
so slowly,
time playing tricks on my mind,
each one as uneventful as the last
as nothing happens,
not ever

in this waking sleep,
this corseted grip on time
as darkness descends again
the ever watchful night,

trying to take me into its home
to place me amongst the stars

and God have I wished for that,
to be forever starlight

to be part of the darkness that engulfs me,
instead of overwhelmed by its force

but I dare not take that razor
that smooth, silver blade
itself glistening with light

so for my weakness, I am ****** to an eternal hell
as I watch the hours pass
so slowly, that they barely move at all

As roots we grow

unsure of what is waiting for us

above the soil

we stretch out, trembling

trepidation clinging to us

like moss

yet still, we reach out

and when we sprout branches

we climb

(we climb)

My thoughts freeze my senses

every emotion has become
a knife piercing my spine

I share more in common with the night
and yet I am dragged, unwillingly
into the day

There was a moment when I could have stood up to the all-encompassing storm

thrown my fists to the heavens
and not cared about the consequences

I was idealistic and naive,
assuming it would pass over by itself

I should have stood up for myself
and fought for my freedom

told the darkness it was not welcome here

not welcome inside me

A clock
that has stopped

years of black dust
clogging up its mechanism

hands that are bound
by unseen hands

an echo of a memory
diluted over time

until it runs like clear water
containing invisible particles
of pain and grief

the clock starts to tick
and I run behind it

always too slow to be part
of its motion

I miss you in my heart
even if my mind is screaming at me
to run from the fire before
I go up in flames

Chaos and calm
are two sides of the same coin
constantly flipping
in my mind

uncertainty makes you thrive
(they say)
but I am treading water
with unbrushed hair
merely trying to survive