We continue to lie to ourselves thinking
We're a bright star in another's constellation
At least I do

I think too much
My hopes have a mind of their own and
They enjoying raising without reason
I keep too much to myself
A blessing and a curse
I wish you knew me the way I knew me
But I honestly think that maybe
I don't know me

This keeps happening
Without a rhyme or reason
At least I think this is true
But keep in mind I think too much
The cloud above my head is gaining color
The burdens
shoving their ankles into my shoulders
They don't care if I'm hurting
And neither do you

This poem *****
I don't write like I used to
Maybe that's where I'm going wrong
Life was good at the peak of my writing
Life was simpler
That was when I was that bright star
And now I'm not
And the words don't spill out like they did
Not anymore

If I'm not a bright star
Maybe I'm swirling around with other stars
With dimmer stars
Maybe I'm just a speck of dust
Maybe I'm not even in view

If I don't know me
How do I expect for you to know me
It's a ridiculous request
But my heart and hopes don't think so
I'm not going to beg for your attention
But please
That's all I ask

Why aren't I visible in your sky

I never thought that
after our lips had touched
And our palms recognized each other
Your palm would
be reaching for something else
Your palm kissed the back
of your cell phone
While you wrote out those words
I'm hoping you'll regret
I never thought that after
my heart called for yours
And yours called for mine
After I felt your smile
to be a comforting safe zone
You were comfortable to stab the back
You used to yearn to hold
The way you were
And the way you are
Were never the same
and never shall be
I never thought that
after you burned my trust
I would be lying alone
within cold sheets
Wondering which man you really were

My dear
We can wake up to our tired eyes
To begin our day off right
We can giggle at our slurred voices
That still live within our throats
After drinking ourselves sick
the night before
We can dance like idiots
My dear
I'll be sniffling from the chilling atmosphere
Your laughter will be my medicine
My dear
I can see you all of my days
My dear

He felt like an old photograph
Sparking the idea of a distant consciousness
And a memorable ambition

His eyes were a wonder to wake up next to
They were soft and sweet and comforting
With an indescribable air of mystery

I watched the way he watched people
He would study them with an open mind
Or with a heavy heart

I longed to be the song he moved to
When he had passion in those sweet eyes
I longed to be the reason he moved