fate is an uneven sword,
but time is the real enemy here
because i am no longer
among love
because i am no longer
among you

i can feel her. nails digging into my skin
.and her lips. pressed against my heart
like soft rose daggers
but. i am holding her. hand.
clutching on
when i know that she needs to be free.

It is quite dignifying to imagine
one's self to be invincible, but
at the end of the day
we are all submissive to nightmares
mirrors can't help but reflect despair
in bloodshot eyes.
I have lived on this planted for
3 years and 20 centuries
and I can tell you that
sleeping pills don't work and
buttering burns makes the suffering
more savory.
Fire will always be enticing
and smoke will seem like clouds after a while
you can **** as many mosquitos as you want, but your blood will always belong
to the earth
and when you are drained like sandy bath water you will understand
what it feels like to be curious

I am convinced that bodies are walking trees
and I am consisted of moss
if we stand still maybe we'll
grow right back into the ground again.

First stone skipped.
I think about who invented hardhats
and why trees have rings swirled inside their bodies
I decide that mother nature knows best.
Preparation is contentment.
Satisfaction is preparation.
I suddenly crave scrambled eggs with A1 sauce
then I remember
I don't like eggs at all.

Second stone skipped.
I think about where I should go for vacation and why I always lick off my lipstick.
I tend to run late
(in the mornings)
because I always go for coffee
at this dive in the opposite side of town
and end up chatting with the
waitress about why I don't like sugar

Third stone skipped.
I think about the blister on my ankle and the callus on my thumb
I never learned how to work a lighter
properly.
Simplicity is a ***** job
and I'd rather have my finger nails
ripped out than be ordinary.

Fourth stone skipped.
Sinks.

I'm not going to be a teenage wasteland forever
Someday I'm going to stop polluting my body and hating my mother
I have an addiction to those
toxic remedies
like hair dye
nutmeg
and bleach.
I'll be taking calcium supplements
for dwindling marow
and for once I'll actually care about politics.
Daddy had a habit of calling me a
super-feminist
just because I wouldn't bring him his slippers
when he got home
from retrieving the mail.
I've always hated dogs in the house
so I became vegetarian.

My subscription to Cosmopolitan has long
been expired.
Instead I stick my fingers inbetween the crevices
of the fan

There's a secret to resentment:
Hang it up in the closet
on the hanger
next to the apron.
It's wanting to pour wasabi down pants
so they feel the kick
so they can hear

The color of wilted daisies is a dark shade of regrets
Take me back to my wild years
when I always had big hair and seemingly small hands
each finger has a heartbeat you know
I swear every extremity has a pulse
Pieces put together
that's what it is
a puzzle gone wrong

I am stuck in this whirlpool of euphenisms.
Everything is more than it's allotted value.
Imbalanced by coincidences and lost chances.
I can't chew my food anymore because I have no gums.
Skin is excess.
So are bones.
There is an art to being nonexistent.
Dissatisfaction is suffering
and to free myself
is to not desire no longer
to the point where there is no
want for life's ticking.