I sat there in the darkness of this girl's backyard
I didn't know her that well, but I felt that I should have.
Missed my chance.
What I do know about her is that she was very beautiful.
I didn't know that until she was gone.
It wasn't until the tears were streaming down my face that I realized
She was very beautiful.
It wasn't until I was standing in the darkness in her backyard with a hundred other people who's eyes were red and who's candles were gleaming that I realized
She was very loved
I didn't know this girl. I went to school with her. I saw her in the halls. I heard her screaming in classrooms.
I never knew how much we shared in common - the same family, the same passion for art, the same life.
It wasn't until I heard all the stories people had and all the memories people shared with her that I realized
I loved her.
And it wasn't until my candle got down to the nub to the point where it was burning my fingers to the point where it blew out that I realized
She was gone.

My mother drinks cranberry juice and lemon tea to detox herself.
She says it gives her a clear mind
I drink Clorox
She takes it away.

I cleaned my room a couple days ago.
I never do. I get too tired.
But, ironically, today it is messier than before.
Isn't it always?
You try to fix something and it just bites you in the *** in the end.
Best to just leave it all alone.
It takes too much energy anyway.
Besides, maybe my head was just mean to be messy.

Since when did lighting our lungs on fire and vomiting up our youth become fun.
When did cigarettes and *** become a carnal desire
and **** and ******* a symbol of pure lust.
How is grinding on some sweaty unshaved guy *****.
When did fake ids become the one thing we have on our Christmas list
memorizing the identity of another so we can lose ourselves in stale beer and cheap *****.
When did ***** songs about ******* become the theme song of passionate love.

When did losing yourself become the game of fun.

I have been there
I have been lost
but unlike the rest of adolescent adults,
I do not desire it.

Everyone wants to grow up too fast.
act too old for their own souls.
be provocative and disgusting to show that you know what it all means
to show that you can do it too.
Good for them.

Why they ask. why.
out of all things. why.
does it really help you.
do you realize what you're doing.
who you're hurting.
what you're holding.
why.
why.
why.
do you think if i knew.
if i knew the answer to
why.
i would be doing what im doing.
i would hurt like im hurting.
i would hold what im holding.
this isnt a choice.
why
cant
people
understand
that
why
why
why

i am on a ship
sailing far away
to a place completely different of where we are today
where nothing is forbidden or taken advantage
where you and i are we
and there's nothing that stops the flying arrow or entangled souls
evil and hate wont matter anymore because we are free
adventure and life is the only thing left beyond our love
and there shall always be the wonder if well make it to the next morning
thriving off the little of which we have
but its all we need
though they say the climb is the best part of the win for tis where you hold the dearest memories
i still want to get there now
so i can see your face and kiss your soft pale lips
and you can stroke my hair and whisper sweet words in my ear
holding me forever and never letting me fall again
promising to always be there to catch me
we can dance in the sun like silly gypsy children
not caring of who sees
and we can lace our fingers together
we can watch the stars light up the night sky
so i can see your face and kiss your soft pale lips
and you can stroke my hair and whisper sweet words in my ear
holding me forever and never letting me fall again
promising to always be there to catch me
we can dance in the sun like silly gypsy children
not caring of who sees
and we can lace our fingers together
we can watch the stars light up the night sky
the moon shine and gleam over our eyes
and the night shall project shadows of our souls holding each other until daybreak
so we can create the dearest memories
this ship is bland and white and scary
nothing like the achievement it was made out to be
at times i am mad
crazy for i am all alone
no one can hear me except you
why dont you answer my cries?
perhaps you are busy crying as well
but, most of the time i am thinking
of what may be
of what could happen if i am not careful
of what will happen to this dream
of us
i am on a ship
sailing far away
to a place completely different of where we are today
where nothing is forbidden or taken advantage
where you and i are we
come with me my darling babe
and we shall sail together
and bask in the morning light
and climb the breaking mountains
and pick the withered flowers
and sing old songs of broken records
and fall overboard
come with me my darling
and we shall purchase these tickets to nowhere together

Tomorrow is another day,
Yet today is still so long
Perhaps I'll sacrifice and pray
Or write another song
But songs and poems make no difference
To whether the earth stay blue or green
The challenge is to feel it
In your heart and soul and dream
The neverending wonder
Is if we can make a change
As a whole as a single
My thoughts in disarray
The world is too far gone
To be rescued from its cell
Although some may be drawn to help the cause
It already fell
Some of us want peace
Some of us want love
Constantly fighting against the hate
And begging to above
Those who worry about their death
And what will happen to them then
When they take their last breath
What good have they been?
Worry now my young friends
There is a place that needs
Our attention should go to straightening the bend
And watering the roaring sea
There will soon be no afterlife
If we continue here
What has been done for ages since
We may soon disappear
What matters most is our life
And how we live it up
And now our souls are filled with strife
We need to fill our cups
A thing we look to
that may not even exsist
When a beautiful creation here we brew
In need of persist
I dream of peace
I dream of love and harmony
The day Our earth will be built back again
United piece by piece
Tomorrow is another day
And listen closely my child
Though we may have to pay
It will be worth it in the while
The world will soon be
Back to how it once was
Peaceful and free
And once again it will be ours
Just for you and me