Emma Azura

Emma Azura Nov 2013

Living

and it was only when I realized
I needed to get out of my own head
did I start to really live
and in a time so dire
that change was imminent
I became effervescent
to save myself
from me

Emma Azura Oct 2013

The Cycle

sitting next to you knowing that you're not mine
with tears dedicated to that reason
dripping down my face
and you sat there holding me
soberly

but it was all in vain; afterwards
I did not gently do away with all of your clothes
I did not have time to whisper to your soul
instead I drove you to her
so you could slink back in silence

this time
the trace of a girl other than your own
was me

Emma Azura Oct 2013

Thoughts

it never felt good to be without you
it still doesn't feel good
and i don't know who you are now
but i imagine this version of you is much better
than the version that fell in love with me

Emma Azura Oct 2013

Heroine

coming off my ****** high
veins pulsing, head sweating, body shaking
always thinking it would never be me
always thought I took my own advice
if I could pierce my skin with the tainted needle but just one more time

I am ruined
thoughts of my drug ferociously circle my ****** brain
morning, afternoon, night
an unbelievable fight that I am winning

my demons pull me back every once in a while
and I wish I could dip my feet in
but the water is much too shallow
and the surrounding air laughs

only the flowers know

Emma Azura Oct 2013

Sigh

after hours my thoughts trudge through loneliness
get deeper into the abyss
dig your own grave
push yourself into that corner
cry your silent tears while people stare from behind their technology
dare to ask me if I'm okay
if you even remember to
same old sad story: sequel, spin-off, and adaptation
feelings aren't real
they are only in your head

where else would they be?

Emma Azura Oct 2013

You

tossing and turning
disgusted thoughts
my mind is burning
yearning
the look on your face, discerning

Emma Azura Oct 2013

Blinded by Love

I ache for the time when memories of you consisted of more than
embarrassment
and bold faced lies

When I didn't have to look back and cringe
Because even now, the conversations that include your name are ones where
I find out the truth

And I weep for the moments of comfort and happiness I shared with you
Even though those moments were genuine, they were tainted

You traipsed around with traces of other girls on your sweater
And I was too naive to notice
anything but the rhythm of your breath