sullen
dark grey
embarrassed
jealous
hopeful
every time I let my guard down I get reminded of why I put it up there in the first place

time will heal what it can of your wounds
or maybe just what you decide it should
most people enjoy living in sorrow
their puny minds have been tricked
they believe it is magical and desirable
fix me, I think I'm broken

broken is not forcibly wearing a frown
in hopes you'll be told to "smile, beautiful"

while the rest of you are fishing for compliments
the truly broken ones are over here wearing the opposite
faking our smiles so our peers can't see
through our just-barely-kept-together facade
go fake your depression somewhere else

I used to breathe my poems onto you with heavy sighs
my words would stain you as though they were written deep with blue ink
and you would hesitate to rinse yourself of the day

you didn't want me to disappear

and now you are vigorously scrubbing your skin
my words are faded markings that even I cannot make out
and you will remember me for all the wrong reasons

I've loved and I've lost
In the process I've learned that what came before will be nothing but emotionally draining
You've fooled me
I'm not a victim but I'll remember you for all the wrong reasons