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Emma Sep 2013
Rush back to home
the only way to save me, at least for a little while
the closest thing to a feeling
everything else is too unbearable
the fragments of ******* squirming around in my head
Incomprehensible, uncontrollable
They go at each other
with quick, inconsistent punches
Too overwhelmed to stop the fights
Screaming at my entrails to respond
But, of course, they don't listen
It's so much simpler to dive back into safety
to home
All I know is in the moment it's so right
It keeps me alive when I feel like I'm dying
Faceless voices still scream
Others tell another tale
Making the process of thought impossible
It's an endless battle of survival
and allowing myself to give up
to go all the way into the deep end
to let go
Emma Jun 2013
Through my wrists lay a secret
In branches of purple blue and green
So vulnerable
Yet so hard to reach
I’m terrified of all the things I feel
But cannot see
Yet somehow it comforts me
I’m unsure
Do I want to know
Or is this secret best kept locked away
One hand grips a tiny metal key
The other makes a fist, empty
I’m trembling
I’m getting worse
I’m growing further
The decision beyond my reach
Though subconsciously
I’ve already made it
I lunge forward with my hand
But it fails to pierce the flesh
Trying over, and over,
I’m drained
Emma Jun 2013
I’m trapped
In a labyrinth of thoughts
A complicated irregular network
Of nonsensical passages
I wonder
Will I ever escape
Will I ever get to feel
Or to taste
What this place
Has conjured up
And passed off
As reality
But in my heart I know
I never will
I’ll exist here forever
From this place
I’ll watch my body rot
And feel my mind disintegrate
My only escape
From the present
Is the future
Though I know
It’s nonexistent
So what’s the point
Is there a reason
Because I need one
I’m beginning to tire
Of this never-ending puzzle
When I think I’ve found my way out
I get lost again
When I begin to see a light
At the end of the tunnel
It flickers off,
toying with my head
And I’m lost again
Was there ever a time
When I wasn’t
Was there ever a time
When my mind could be free
I can’t remember

— The End —