I see you standing in the corner, head down as if you're full of shame
Hours have gone by of you standing on your phone, wondering who's minutes are worth more than your own
I watch as you speak to only the people you know,
you post about travel although you have no where to go

You talk about adventure and I love it when you do
Although you've not once yet shown a non- judgmental side of you
Adventure is not about money and pictures to post at night
Adventure is about the different smells and the "too pretty for a picture" kind of sight
You talk about this person you are, but I think it's who you want to be
I pray every night for the happy boy you are soon to be, selfishly I pray you keep me around so I too can someday see

Everything's changing before I had a chance to experience the feel of it all

It's second semester of my senior year and I find myself wondering where the time has gone. I'm only 17 years old although I remain in this exact spot- the spot of wonders. Wonders on where I'll be this time next year- also ten. Wonders on who I'll go to prom with or where I'll travel next. Wondering what my dad's been up to- we haven't been talking much, why? I wonder about my best friend and the secret he's holding inside, I wonder if he needs help, I wonder what's making him so sad. I wonder if I could tell you every person that I've met; first name and last- then pick who's stuck around. I wonder all these thoughts- then I get a little lost.

Everything's changing before I had a chance to experience the feel of it all

Because I question my religion at times, and what happens when we die? Will this all just be forgotten- or do we become angels in the sky? Will I grow up to be a writer, will I meet my husband soon? Is he someone I've already met? Thoughts like these are always running through my head.

Everything's changing before I had the chance to experience the feel of it all

A year from now we will be settled into our dorms- finishing up our first semester of our freshman year as college students. Will I be cheating my way through classes or finding my own help? Will I be filling up my nights with people whose names will be forgotten by Saturday? Or Sunday breakfasts with someone I love. Will I even still be around? Will my sisters be there to talk? Will I even have a child, or a marriage that will last. Will I do what I've always done- reminiscing on the past. Wishing I could go back- it's something I've always done. Wishing I could change, who ever wrote these rules' is no fun.

Everything's changing before I had the chance to experience it all

Help me understand if I'm living my life wrong. Am I passing the time too fast? Is it the fact that I look at future time as if it's already passed? I've prayed for help to change my habits- praying for some answers. I pray and pray and pray- although I'm still just left with these wonders.

The smell of the lake brings me back to you,
summer's at the cabin, the lake seems to have lost it's blue
And your pictures proved a point, of how happy we really were
Your pictures proved a point that your cancer couldn't cure

Because as the pictures continued, your hair started to go
As the pictures continued, I watched the faded blue lake grow
Our love became so much stronger, it had always meant so much.
Our love was something big, now I crave your touch
I miss crying in your arms, when something wasn't right
I miss falling asleep with you, holding me so tight

I'm scared of forgetting everything I know
I'm scared to say goodbye, scared to let you go.
But I felt a sign with you today,
Maybe this is you telling me- people aren't meant to stay