EmilyDidero

EmilyDidero Oct 2014

I wrote about you exactly one month ago, today
September 22, I wrote the words, I'm no longer scared to say
The words spoke out I miss you's and I'm sorry's
Wishing to have you back

A month ago today, I was at an all time low
Missing you more than ever, missing the way you spoke
Your words made me sound better than I knew I'd ever be
You spoke of me as if you were proud
You spoke of me highly
You spoke
And it's safe to say I've
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EmilyDidero Sep 2014

Untitled

I'm not saying I'm suicidal
But if a train were to come quick and you dared me to jump, it's fair to say I might take you up
I'm not saying I'm suicidal
But if you handed me a gun, bullets and all
I might pull the trigger emotionless as I fall
I'm not saying I'm suicidal
But then again maybe I am, because my words have proven me wrong once again

September 25, 2014

EmilyDidero Sep 2014

Sometimes

But sometimes I still get sad
When I think about the way we acted, when everything was fine
Remembering your voice, at three in the morning, not awake enough to tell the truth but yet you'd never tell a lie
Words that spoke infinities to my soul, or so I thought

Sometimes I still get sad
When I think about everything we were, everything I thought we'd always be
I think about the friendship, we held tighter than our pillows while we lay awake, alone at night
I think of how it's something we risked, but deep inside we knew it was something we'd never get back

Sometimes I still get sad
When I think about you
I think about you often though,
So when I say sometimes, know I mean always

September 23, 2014

EmilyDidero Sep 2014

Innocence

I remember the first time I lost my innocence
I tried a bit of ***
I didn't like the taste, but they told me it'd be fun

So I continued drinking more and more
until I couldn't remember anything before
And my head was spinning rapid
Yet you continued to call me "kid"

And I wanted to mean more than that, I wanted to be grown up
So I took a hit and coughed a ton
until the moon looked like the sun

And I thought to myself what fun is this?

I tried thinking to myself I'd made it like the rest
I believed I'd fit in, with not only the great, but the best
I thought these thoughts until my head got lost
And the visions were blurred and my words were slurred
I couldn't remember where I stood, not understanding how this felt good
Because everything was bad, and suddenly my emotions turned sad
Because what's "good" about having no control of what you do
What's "good" about not knowing the sky turns dark when it's no longer blue
But maybe this was you showing me who you were
Maybe you were just a sky to me but I'd never seen this side of you
When the sun went down, and suddenly you were no longer blue

September 22, 2014

Sep 2014

i s a b e l l a

d o n e.

Who said dreaming is better than reality?
What if they’re both equally as bad?
I can’t tell the difference between reality
and a dream anymore because they’re
both turning out to be a nightmare.

EmilyDidero Sep 2014

My Advice

Try waking up early, when no one's awake
Drink hot black coffee even if you don't like the taste.
Try something new, breath it in, embrace

Embrace where you live, even if it's not all that great
There must be something, appreciate before it's too late

Appreciate the laughter you share with new souls,
Appreciate the 3 AM talks with important people, don't ever lose touch

Keep in touch with everyone you meet, no matter how it ended
Whether it be a fight, a move, a death. Talk to them, never forget

Never forget the girls you'll meet in the bathrooms,
too drunk to pronounce their names
Never forget their beauty,
Even though they held their heads in shame

Shame on you for lying, but know these things happen.
Shame on you for pushing away those you should have never let go

But let go of those who bring you down, let go of those who don't love with everything they have.
Let go for the better, but remember to let more in then you do, out.

Let in the girl with purple hair, who seems to be a little off.
Let her in because soon, she'll teach you to be tough

Be tough against the one's who peer pressure
They're not worth your time
Be yours before you're there's, and I promise you'll be fine.

Advice for my daughter one day-September 22, 2014

EmilyDidero Sep 2014

Lonely

Down a cliff that's made of hills
Up and down, as my body experiences the various chills
Up as I let out the truth of how I feel
Back down because you deny the words I speak
Up once more because I believe I've let you in
Down because again you've proven me wrong

Lies left and right, as if I'm full of secrets
Secrets only the words on the paper can prove
Because I myself have lost hold of the truth
Lost hold of who I thought I knew
I've lost hold of my life and not a soul in the sky
Could lead me back to who I was

This emptiness inside these bones have left me with nothing to hold
It's left me with the loneliness, left behind my soul
I'm an open book with nothing to read for the poems are fading and the writings are weighing
down my confidence, as I compare it to others
Down this hill I go, and I don't know how to get myself back up

September 5, 2014