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Emily Tucker Oct 2017
You. You gave me these demons, and this poisoned blood that runs through my ******* veins. Before I had a choice in the matter you ****** my life. Because of you I am broken. Because of you I am fighting for air at the bottom of what seems to be a bottomless ocean.
Before I could breathe, you started drowning me in chemicals I couldn’t resist. When I was born my lungs breathed the cigarette smoke you blew and the cruel words you spilled. Because of you, I am dead on the inside and still trying to find a ******* way out.
Because of you I cried myself to sleep and slit my wrists over and over and over for so many years it could be someone’s entire lifetime. Because of you, and your influence on me – I am the person I am. Yet I'm not terrible.
Because of you, I know how to become something better. Because of you I can run face first down the right path rather than following yours. Because of you ill give my baby nutrients and life, rather than chemicals and a cynically written poem about how you destroyed mine before I got the chance to construct and create my own.
Emily Tucker Oct 2017
Have you ever felt like a shell? As in, your physical skin is a shell. Something you could so easily shed off, like a snake. Or a nimble insect. Yet you cant. And with this feeling - you carry locks, and lock pads and heavy weights. You are forced to see the world around you through the light of your eyes no matter how hard you wish escaping into your dreams was a reality. You are trapped. Trapped in your thoughts... And in your skin.
Emily Tucker Jun 2017
Some days I hurt a lot. Some days I don’t hurt at all. Some days im really happy and others I feel numb. I don’t care. I don’t want to feel or think. I am as meaningful as the books on a bookshelf in a high school, English classroom; looked at by everyone, but never touched. Never loved. But when one person picks a book, and reads. The book then becomes useful. Representing the good days; when im happy.
Some days im a book being read, and others I am waiting for another person to read my pages. This analogy is difficult. You see, Someone might be interested in book and so they read, but once they are finished. They know the story, they know everything there is to know, and so they move on to a new book and place the finished book back on the shelf. Some people never finish the book and lose interest halfway through. Some people judge the cover and put it back on the shelf.
So you can see why I feel like a book. Im used, like a book. Someone walks into my life and asks for my story; and I show them, I tell them, I express myself. Yet as soon as the story ends, and there is no mystery left in me for them to explore, they walk away. Some people take one look at me and hate the way I look, so that person will never give me the opportunity of day to say “hello”. Or “goodbye”. I am irrelevant. I am a book.
Emily Tucker May 2017
" You might leave. But the best part, is i'll always be here. If you come back or not. I'll be here."
Emily Tucker Apr 2017
I believe falling in love, is a breed of pain.
You see, we learn to fall in love with people. Slowly depending on the other for emotion, affection, and joy. But once separated... We have accustomed our terms from "falling in" into "falling out". Yet in reality, the heartbreak we experience is just another form. The lust for affection in a positive response is only changed into the affection in a negative response.
Which would only explain as to how people are scared to fall in. Sooner or later, you will fall out.
Emily Tucker Dec 2016
"Schotoma"
A partial loss of vision or blind spot in an otherwise normal visual field.

In a way, we all ignore the obvious things in front of us without realization of ignorance. I remained oblivious.

Oblivious to the boy in the corner who knew I was beautiful before I came to the realization myself. I remained ignorant.

Ignorant to love I didn't believe I deserved; we accept the love we think we deserve.

I have come to understand, I deserve a lot more than I once believed.
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