Sitting here with him
There is nowhere else
I would rather be.
Listening to his steady heartbeat
As I see the sunbeams dance on his hair.
The rays catching the corners
Of his blue green eyes
And my soul is in awe of the beauty
That he possesses.
If he only knew that at this moment
When I see him,
My mind is overwhelmed
By the simple extravagance
And exquisite wonders
That he carries so humbly within him.

This has changed me. I am no longer the same. I have too many scars, shed more than enough tears, and have drowned in a pool of self deterioration. I have forgotten what tall green summer grass feels like as it brushes my prickly legs. I have lost the sensation to feel the sun caressing my pale figure. I no longer remember fully feeling a smile stretch across my weary face. I cannot enjoy the softness of rain scrolling down my cheeks because it reminds me of what we used to be. Everything I do, everything I touch brings back the day you said you loved me. I was a nobody feeding off of young love and tender kisses. We were the two cards that were always paired, we were the only clovers left in the middle of a decaying forest. We were something lost in lust, and wrapped up in each other's soft spoken refrains.

I am no longer that girl. I have changed and am slowly becoming acquainted with this new stranger. I do not wish to change who I am becoming, but I do feel sad that I am forgetting who I once was.

I can forgive you for not loving me back the way I loved you, but you stole my entity. And for that you will never be forgiven.

I once could hear a voice calling
loudly in my ears and
through my mind.
I ignored it
for so long that now
I hear it rarely
and only faintly
like the echo off some
distant mountain pass
and not the reverberations
of my own heart.

little boys (and girls) (and else)
are made of meat and blood and bones:
marrow thick as thieves,
promises made under willow trees
kisses and “don’t you ever tell”s.

they grow like spindly plants and
sometimes we appreciate them
and other times the gardeners pull them up and spray for weeds.