I cannot got a day or so
without thinking of the monster within
she likes to come and play with me
and thank me for my sins

she thanks me for forgetting you
and thanks me for my slashes
she thanks me for keeping her alive
with all my fatal crashes

“thank you for cutting deep” she says
“thank you for yelling, too
your friends will not forgive you now
it’ll just be me and you”

yes her and I will always be
together standing strong
my quiet little demon
who I always drag along

she says she’s glad I’m feeling sick
she’s glad I’m doing bad
“this is good for you and I
I’m only here when you’re sad”

she tells the truth, I know it’s true
this dark demon of mine
her name is lady depression
she’s around from time-to-time

when I feel very low
she shows up at my door
with razor blades and hand grenades
ready for much more

she encourages me to stop eating
yes, she’ll take my plate away
she kindly holds and cleans my blades
while I prepare my veins

if I begin to feel alright
if I begin to feel okay
she becomes sick and sad
and starts to fade away

for little lady only stays
when weak minds are unwell
you need to feel big and strong
to get her to dispel

I know you like to live with me
and love to give me flack
but I need you to leave forever
**please do not come back

i've always wondered
is denial fun?
do you not consider my feelings?
do you think that I have none?

placing the blame on others
no responsibility for yourself
you may feel high-powered
but you stunt my health

you stunt my growth of social skills
you stunt my mouth of smiles
you stunt my heart from growing strong
when it's already so fragile

your innocence is nothing to you
but it's the world to everyone else
my feelings will never be considered
you will never care for my health

so it's okay, I've come to learn
that you are not for me
I'll remember how you've made me feel
I'll keep this feeling deep

deep down inside my twisted mind
deep down below my soul
deep down to the bottom of my heart
where you have left a hole

a hole where love used to lie
a hole that once was full
a hole where you respected me
and wouldn't let me go

four
facecloths
swamped
with
blood


I

really

hope

you're

hap­py