Have I forgotten what it is to be free,
What the warm air smells abound summer breeze?
Have I forgotten the simplest of tasks,
Or how the easiest questions are never asked?
Have I forgotten what it is to love,
The sensation of kisses and gentle hugs?
Have I forgotten the sound of the rain against my window,
The tap tap tap of the trees as the wind blows?
Have I forgotten what not to be afraid of,
That tomorrow might be my last one?
Have I forgotten to carry on with life,
To move forward and learn to forget the lies?
Have I forgotten to forgive and let live,
To speak softly and carry that big stick,
To get out and enjoy what is new?
Have I forgotten to forget you?

I will be anything that you want me to be.
And if you'd like I could be more than just me
I could be tomorrow or I could be yesterday.
If you'd like I can be your spare change.

I can be the things you dream of so sweet.
Im willing to be the only thought you think.
You could have me forever or just for a week.
I could be your toy, all yours to keep.

I can be the gentle touch that comforts you,
Or the little smiles that constantly warm you.
I am more than willing to be something I would never be.

For you I could be anything.
But for a moment, could you let me be me?
Just for a moment please.

For today is brand new,
It is of circumstantial glue.
For today is a day,
Unlike most yet still the same.
For today Ill give in,
Not sure if Ill be able to again.
For today ill forget who I am,
But not how to be a man
For today, just for today,
I want to be us again...

Sometimes,
I wonder,
Do you think about me?
Not a day goes by that
I don't think of you.
The way you
Never failed to tell me you loved me,
Always made my day brighter,
Helped me through my depression,
The way you were there for me in a time where I was at my darkest.
How you hated tomatoes, except on pizza.
How you wanted to be in the Army.
How you called me every night before I went to bed,
Just to tell me I make you happy.
How we planned our wedding,
Named our kids not yet born.
How I kissed the scars on your wrist,
Because they were part of you,
And you were beautiful.

Sometimes,
I wonder,
Did you care at all?
Was it hard to cheat on me
Or was it easy as breathing?
Was it hard to remember to tell me you loved me?
Was it hard to love me at all?
Did I not try hard enough or too much?
Did you forget what you promised me,
Or did you not care?
Was it easy to leave her?
Was it easy to lead me on?
Was it easy to leave me the way you found me,
Broken and hopeless?

Sometimes,
I wonder,
How I got through those lonely nights,
Sobbing into my pillow
Because I lost the only light that I had.
How I knew no one could love me the way you did,
If you loved me at all.
How I didn't just drag that knife over my neck
As I dreamed of doing so many times.
How you left me with the monsters in my head,
With no love to fend them off.


Sometimes,
I wonder,
Do you think about me?
Because I think of you.
Every day.
You were the first man I loved,
And the first person who taught me that
Love can destroy.
Because your love destroyed me.
You built me up,
And tore me down.
Do you think about how you hurt me?
How I cried over the phone,
When I told you I could no longer be with you.
When I chose my own sanity over our toxic love.
Over my toxic love.


Every day,
I remember
All the pain you put me through.
How the good times don't make the bad times more bearable.
How I wish you the best,
Because you weren't a bad person.
You were a ****** person,
Leading me on when you didn't really care.
But you weren't bad.
So I hope you get everything you deserve in life.
Because,
Sometimes,
The best way of moving on
Isn't letting go,
It's showing the person who did you wrong kindness,
And hoping they drown in it.

I could run away with fear
but you, oh you, I hold so dear
so call me stupid one more time
and I'll act as if everything is fine.
I should have given up by now
but I won't let it go, no how
now, knock on my heart once again
and I'll be sure, so sure, to let you in!

I hate you.
I love you.
I hate you.
I hate you.
I love you.
You hate me.
You love me.
You hate me.
You hate me.
You love me.
You hate me, babe.

I could walk away from you
and be okay, I won't be blue
because you put me through such ****
& you'll be lucky if you don't get hit
time goes by, but time won't fly
the spark that set the flame won't die
The fire tantalizes me
& then I get hit with the third degree

I hate you.
I love you.
I hate you.
I hate you.
I love you.
You hate me.
You love me.
You hate me.
You hate me.
You love me.
I love you, babe.

You rip me out of the ground
and then throw me back down, or
tear off my limbs
while confessing your unabated love for him, you
have absolutely no regard for anything but
that which you find aesthetically pleasing.
You don't seem to understand that
I would do anything to be in your arms, forevermore.
You can't seem to comprehend that
it breaks my heart to hear that it's him that you adore.

don't tell me
you love me
until you have seen me
at 3 AM
crying
screaming
shaking
broken down
holding a knife
and incredibly *lost