Biting your flesh in the darkness
How it yields

I am primal
Downwind from you
I am longing

'Us' is just a whisper, thick with liquor

But I have heard the note in your laugh,
That comes too easy

Clinging, lingering like lucid cigarette smoke
My dilemma

- For I cannot discern,
Who the fool is
You or I?

are you going
to regret your
passivity when
your mother dies

(and will) while
you feel guilt
because of the way
you looked at her

as you treated her
as someone that
you thought couldn't
command respect

you may not
be able to
remedy that..

although you
could to chance
a learning

oh how to
forgive yourself
for living with
such a

simply simple
mind within  
a completely
complex soul

when you were chased by the violence against her
and ran to the neighbour's pleading
to the deaf ear of a silence afraid to whisper
then a loud " we don't want to get involved"

then to return home
to receive your 'licks'

and to see her
piece together
a meal out of
a fried potato

as he sat down
to steak and beer
with mushrooms no less

you never considered
how very brave she was
why, why would you favour him
looking now as she stands five foot small

how can you retract
a childhood attitude
that you have carried
with you all the way until now

what a weak, weak boy
in a not so grown up man

is even her death about you

© 2014

My lover asks me:
"What is the difference between me and the sky?"
The difference, my love,
Is that when you laugh,
I forget about the sky.

Mercy is weak
Mercy is honourable
Mercy is dangerous
Mercy is horrible

Mercy is the game that you play with your hands
Mercy is ok when the rules expand.
Mercy is the point to which you wish you could return
Mercy is a moment that still makes you burn.

Mercy is a crying plea all through the night
Mercy is a cross-stitch caused by knife
Mercy is the **** that lets you run
Mercy is staring down the barrel of a gun.

Promises are made to be broken and
Your words are as hollow as this home
Empty gestures I no longer believe in
And a sense of dread whenever you call
Friendship is a two way street
But I had to put all the time in
Next time you call I won't answer the phone
Find a new fool to confide in

I hate you
I don’t like you, no not even a little bit
I don’t like the way you smile
I don’t like your sarcastic comments
I HATE the way your eyes lock with mine and our souls might as well be intertwined.
You’re impossible.
You’re ridiculous.
I don’t like the way you look at me when you think my head is turned
I don’t like it when you listen, and speak to me the way you do
It makes me feel like I will never be as good as you.
You’re dogmatic
You’re erratic
I don’t like you when you overrun my dreams
I don’t like you when your emotions are so in between
I hate that you’re so full of charm
And most of all I hate you for being my alarm
in this fairytale world of love I myself created
Because I always use to say reality is overrated.

After you, there was nothing else to feel.
You tore me apart, my spirit and my body,
leaving me bleeding in a way I couldn’t change.
Bruises riddle my arms, thighs and face
and shame clouds my perception of the world.
A part of my insides dies with my innocence.

I am now a vessel--from filth creating innocence
I am confused about how I am supposed to feel.
Is joy the emotion for bringing life to this world?
The bruises fade but pain still riddles my body.
When I sleep I’m haunted by your face.
I hate what is in me the more my body changes.

Each month I grow and can’t deny the change
that gives away the loss of my innocence.
They tell me this tiny monster has a face-
probably one like yours. The thought makes me feel
like vomiting. Even Momma beats my body.
She doesn’t want this monster in this world.

I have nowhere left to go in the whole world.
Of course this is the same as yesterday. No change.
I am not the only one disgusted with my body.
You ravished the very essence of my innocence.
Does anyone else understand how it feels
to be rejected by even your fathers’ face?

I want to tear off your face.
I want to scream to the whole world
but instead I am silent and numb without feeling.
My own father kicked me out without any change
for the bus. He, too, forgot I was innocent.
You stole my family along with my body.

This thing inside me is yours-- this body
whose face is a tiny mirror of your nasty face.
For all I care, it is born without innocence
and should be removed, with you, from the world.
Nothing anyone says can make that change.
I refuse to feel.



I no longer know the meaning of the word innocent.
Violent shudders rattle through my body

I can’t take any more pain or feeling!
I hate that tiny face.

Today I brought your monstrosity into the world
but in your own world not a thing changed