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Emily Alyssa May 2013
I know that you're trying
To understand how I feel
But you can't imagine the feeling
Of being consumed
By nothing but pain and
Overwhelming sadness
So thank you
For trying to understand
Why I want to put a gun to my head
And pull the trigger
Emily Alyssa Mar 2013
But she's getting better
They all said
She's eating three meals
And her wrists are clean
But little do they know
With every meal I eat
I die a little on the inside
And they don't think
To check anywhere
But my wrists
So no,
I'm not getting better
Emily Alyssa Mar 2013
It's taken me years,
But I've finally realized
That I need to say
Goodbye and ******* to:
Those ******* who broke my heart
Those ******* who can't stop gossiping about me
Those ******* that hurt me
Those people who lied to me
Those ******* that broke their promises
Those two-faced *****
The stuck-up *****
The ****** who don't understand 'no'
And especially anyone who made me cry
Because I've finally learned
You weren't worth my time
-My past, my present or my future
Emily Alyssa Mar 2013
The tears that formed around my eyes
Were roughly wiped away
As I sat on the floor
In front of my bed,
Staring down the razor
That sat in front of me,
Taunting me,
I eagerly picked it up
And pressed the cool metal
To the underside of my left arm
And made four horizontal lines
I could barely feel anything, but I knew
As soon as the blood started pooling
That even for the shortest time,
I could feel again
Once the bleeding slowed
I put my sweater back on
Looks like it's gonna be long sleeves again this week
Emily Alyssa Mar 2013
I'm sorry I haven't been the perfect daughter
Or the ideal sister
I'm sorry I haven't been the greatest friend
And I'm sorry I haven't been the best person
But most of all I'm sorry
That I won't be around to become the person
I wanted to be.
I'm sorry I won't be able to graduate with my friends
I'm sorry I won't be able to go to prom next month
I'm sorry I won't get to go with my mom on vacation next week.
I'm sorry but I have to know
Can I still get into heaven if I **** myself
Emily Alyssa Mar 2013
I'm just so tired
At the point I don't know
If I'm hiding my scars
With long sleeves
Or if I'm hiding my scars
With a smile and a laugh
At this point
I'm sick and tired
Of having to hide
How I feel on the inside
Emily Alyssa Mar 2013
Why is it that I'm the *****
Because I hung out with my guy friend
Right after we broke up
But she's the victim
Even though she slept with my best friend
That very night
Why does she get to be innocent
When she called it off
But when I try to end it I'm a *****
Or why is it that when she cuts herself
Everyone treats her like a helpless baby
But when I try to **** myself
I'm shunned away from my loved ones
I just don't get why no matter how bad I'm hurting
Everyone I love just pushes me aside
When I need to be loved too
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