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Jennifer Beetz Mar 2019
Of all the really dubious decisions
(and this is the only one we know
about, knowing nothing about
much of anything)
Mother hatched us barely three
or so yards from the swoosh of
the interstate- and not one of those
two lane chicken **** things where
nicotine addicted deer meander
freely, shooting the breeze and
chewing on a fresh **** tossed
from a window into a nice morning
like this
Mother saw fit to hollow out
a capricious tunnel sort of thing
under a pile of god knows what
(and god knows even less
than we do)
Was she fooled by all the greenery
or was she just plain pooped,
too tired to find a decent tree
like any decent mother
would do?
Somehow this eight lane
truck route seemed ideal
even as we are thrown back
and forth by unnatural winds
and great heaving gusts of
gasoline and diesel, where
one errant breeze is sure
and shrill death
We are a soot covered clutch
that even mother love cannot rescue
(not that we know anything about
that) "What you don't know won't
hurt you" she was wont to sing
hinting at the ones that came
before us and the ones that
will surely follow
The crows gather at dusk and we
can almost hear their bone crunching
laughter and the buzzards do lazy
fly-overs, no one is in any special
hurry under this layer of traffic,
the constant bleak black motion
There is no appealing to the bird kind
in any of them, that we would compare
our lot in life is an act of desperation
you see, because Mother held life
lessons in her grip with the mercenary
coolness of one who doesn't waste
even a moment of joy on those
not meant to live long enough
to appreciate it
Jennifer Beetz Mar 2019
I've been lucky in love
and always had my pick
but when they ask me
what "does the trick"?
how can I tell
any one of them
that what I've always
preferred is ugly
men?
Jennifer Beetz Mar 2019
It is not a fact that beauty
lies in perfection or even
in perfect proportion-
sure, we find it pleasing
when both the eyes
line up and when
one leg follows the
other more or less
in the same stride
teeth are good when
they grow where they
should and number
in the thirties, most
can agree on this
and also that hair is nice-
some prefer a blonde
while others insist on the
virtues of a brunette
(none of us have ever
mooned or crooned
over the virtues of
a bald coquette)
Jennifer Beetz Mar 2019
I am functioning by rote
by automatic design
a cruel god put in
place, my dinosaur
mind
I eat, I sleep
I crawl forward
then back, not
a squeak from me
no motor purr
I do it naturally
as I watch the sun
across the wall and
set heavy in the
corner and then
like me, I watch
the sun crawl
back, ready
to leap
in the rhythm
of my heart
another bit
of automation
left over from that
first and all important
pointing of god's
finger
ready, set, go
Jennifer Beetz Mar 2019
The patron saint of forgetting
has been seduced out of
     the rosebush
where she lives, the thorns
     will slough away eventually
along with the rest
     of her
                   skin

she leaves rosebuds and petals
behind, but not like Hansel
     or Gretel
she does not want to be
     found
and she will not heed
the prayers from the rest
     of you, shamelessly
searching for an excuse
     of having forgotten
          too
Saint Adolf, not such a bad guy
they say he cries watching sad
    movies just like
                               you
barely seventy-five years
devil may care
because you don't, not
     you or you
          or even
               you
we do know the price
forgetting, of course all
     of us do
so hide behind your next plague
your next atrocity, yours
     or will you forget
          that
too?
Jennifer Beetz Mar 2019
How unwanted like
a wave good-bye a wave
hello, cupped hand of
a beauty queen or a
sailor scanning the
horizon where did
he go?

How unwanted like
hot distilled breath a
wave on my neck knocks
me *** over tete GET
UP GET UP GET
UP you there

Dripping ice and
cold arms full of
regret not me
dripping
wet a fishy
grasp an untamed
gasp of o so clammy
o so breathy death
is this (death)?

How unwanted (finished
dear) tepid pretend tea
party yes! let's have one
let's pour our hearts
out here

You floored me before
I could even get up the
smack of you to fill
my cup let's do it
simply (even) coldly
just one more time
let's
Jennifer Beetz Mar 2019
NOBODY bothers me!
said the kid on TV
learning karate and
then HEY KIDS!
OFF OF THAT COUCH!
WHAT'RE YOU TRYIN TO DO
RUIN IT!? You see
most of our local TV
was produced by drunks
the kind you swivel
your head and see
in your own living
room- yeah, HIM!
The ******* your
mother let in when
having a weak a
drunken moment
*******, yup
HIM and so happens
the same year we learned
the Easter Bunny had
broken his leg (no
candy, GET IT?
for youse or youse
eh, and plenty of
***** for im) was
the way we learned
all about wealth and
worth and giving up
even a square yard
of turf and *******
******* we will
never call you
Daddy, another
******* has that
name and he got
there first
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