I wake I WAKE UP I
feel your hands the
grounded rubber
the vague electricity
of you milling around
and through my glassy
bones, your hands
have not yet found
a home
I wake up (I WAKE UP)
I feel the future in
my gums, two wrigley
twins jumping rope
double dutch veins
hurt like a stone
I wake up (yup)
too many tubes
reaching from within
dig them out and turn
them loose without
me (PLEASE go on
without me)
I wake up and it is
the next century, muscles
heave a giant groan

This was never what
I wanted (who would?)
this was never the plan
(why would it be?)

I am a **** of a mistake
I try to keep it under my
skin, under the bandages
but I still get thrown back
into the game, patched up
like new again, blown
backward into a mirror
DO OVER DO OVER
DO OVER no thank
you

I scream *******
with a mouth full
of sand

And this is the good part

Aaah but how laaazy
we are you reaching
for the remote (and I ain't
lifting my *** for
nothing, even my
sense of humor
lies limp) the
weather channel
the same channel
as your arm slides
back and forth
across my belly
my **** and then
you rest your
lips, napping
one muscle
at a time

We love the local weather
dude cuz he looks like
he sleeps in his suit
sways back and forth
his whole body
a five o'clock shadow
covering the whole
east coast and we revel
in the comfort of knowing
that weather still exists
at all (just in case we
choose to stick our
heads in it)

How many love affairs
start like this, the novelty
and the simple inability
to find all those faults
you will hate each other
for later?

How many lovers had me
convinced my despair is just
a wrapping I can push away
and replace with their charm
their assurances and their
delightful plot twists?
(how's the weather up
there?)

There is a certain amount
of folly and even stupidity
to believe I can dig a hole
out of terror and despair
and put yet another lover
smack in the middle of me
yes, THERE (I have made
my simple mind up- you,
darling, are not going
anywhere)

This, you me and that
bit over in the corner? I
believe love is hiding under
the hands of a clock, under
your hands too (fill me
another drink, fill me
with your ****)

Sated, she is
proud, he is
up to the task
not quite love but
this thing here?
this thing was built
to last

We had mixed
reality we had
too many pairs
of feet running
through the
alleyway we
done been
had that
(gimme)
arranging pebbles
we pretend are
pretty you
and me had
swinging arms
held hands stared
up through the
beetle chewed
leaves gossamer
when the sun
winked we had
the **** and
Jane of it the
Spot and Kitten
and a sedan
smack full
of it see?
we were too
brutal to run
around unarmed
(pretty pebbles
all at once
OW) we had
life! by the
ears dropped
on our heads
mother worry
don't pay the
rent we knew
everything and
worse except
each other
saving that
big hurt
for later