I could write you essays and
pen novels about the
curve of your jaw,
or the way your hair falls
just so,
and how the sound of sleep
that clouds your voice
in the mornings is better
than any alarm I’ve ever heard.
But instead, all I am left with
is I love you,
and that never feels
like quite enough

I can’t tell if I've gone insane
or went crazy a long time ago
and am just realizing it now
I’m dancing on eggshells
and asked five questions
in class today all of them
starting with the word
sorry
All I want is to run
but I can’t find the ground
and I’m not sure if I’d even
have anywhere to go

I kissed a boy
I had no feelings for
because his drugs
made me forget
about the boy who
took all my feelings
with him.

I don't know how I feel about you
Some poems are about my
hatred of you
how you broke me in two
torched my heart and left it there to burn

While others are about my
memories of us
and everything we had
and how I was so naive to
believe it would last

A few are about how lonely
and lost I am without
you near me
of how I miss you so much
that it physically hurts
to think of your soft touch
and warm breath
and how your strong frame
molded perfectly with
my own

And then there are the
poems where its
like nothing ever happened
and I write like I did when we
were still together
how I
love everything about you
your freckles
your eyes
your voice
your mind
your scent
e v e r y t h i n g

and its when I write those
poems that I realize I'm still
hopelessly
endlessly
infinitely
in love with you
and I don't think there will ever
be a day where I won't be

I wanted to paint
A water color picture of us
I wanted to capture
The curves of your lips
And the swirls of colors
As they melted with mine
And I wanted to illustrate
The marks from your fingertips
Tracing constellations across my hips
And I thought I could draw
The way to relinquished
Emptiness trapped inside of me

But I was painting a picture
with colors that didn't exist