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em Dec 2019
I let people down.
I let them down so far that
there is not enough light for
them to see that I didn't mean it,
they cannot see the look in my eyes
that says that I would do anything
to change it,
they cant even find a ladder
to climb their way out of the deep
misery I put them in.
At least, that's what they tell me.
That I descend them so far into
darkness that there is no getting out.
And so, that is what I tell myself.
em Dec 2019
this could end
me
from the inside out
but it doesn't feel like that

i am oh so powerful
and this hunger is my
sword

i shall climb these mountains
unscathed
and 10 pounds lighter

i will collects the heads
of monsters along the way
with their rearing jaws

they bite into me
they roar
and shriek
for me to eat
but i won't let them win.

not me.

i carry them
like trophies
and at my journeys
end
is my prize

death greets me with open hands
he says
it has taken years,
my friend
yet i was always here
waiting.

and you've finally found me.

the end.
em Dec 2019
I sit in front of her
and she sits across from me
hand cradling her cheek
as she listens to my words

I say
you don't know
how badly I want to
destroy myself
you don't know how this
pain
Hangs like chains from
my bones
you don't know how
it is to feel like the space
you take up is too much
but at the same time you
are not enough
you don't know

she sits across from me
I sit in front of her
as she says
I don't need to
em Dec 2019
he tells me
my father
never let any man take
advantage of  you
i tell him
that is not  your place to
even say
my mothers thoughts waft up from
an empty wine bottle
she shouts
all i WANT is an
unbroken child
i shout back
i am
ALIVE
that is all you get!
glass shatters near my head
what must i have done to
be this bad
sobs bubble
from beneath my curled fists
my eyes are red
from all this
darkness
isnt there someone out there to
******* help me?
but i am alone
and there is no one
and
i wouldnt
deserve it
anyway
if i had known
it would be this dark
i never would have opened my
eyes
em Dec 2019
the door is shut again, locked
the stench of chlorine and blood
my own.
he's hurt me again
there is a fire between my legs
i don't know if he will ever stop

where is my sister?
what if he's hurt her too?



...i hope he kills me.
em Dec 2019
don't need you to
save me
don't need you to cry
for me
don't need the jack ***
*******
don't need the bruises
scratches cuts and blood
don't need the lies
don't need your arms around me
don't need your hands around my throat
don't need your **** inside me
don't need your tongue on my lips
don't need your ******* games
don't need your kisses or
your punches
don't need the black eyes
or purple cheeks
don't need your *******
apologies

don't need your ******* "love"
em Dec 2019
once
i was happy
content and peaceful
the only way i know this is
because i believe that
everyone must have been
once
or they wouldve died.
we all need something to be able to remember
to hold onto

to survive
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