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Feb 2016 · 326
anxiety
embla Feb 2016
I have anxiety about my anxiety.
It's a constant vicious cycle that is wearing my body down little by little, destructing my health and the little peace of mind I have.
Feb 2016 · 170
Untitled
embla Feb 2016
I am reverting back into the quiet, introverted soul I used to be.
This is good.
This is who I am.
Feb 2016 · 868
Untitled
embla Feb 2016
Forgetting the past is the easiest thing in the world to preach about, until you're the one in question.
Feb 2016 · 384
world
embla Feb 2016
I thought the world of you.
How small my world was.
Feb 2016 · 144
Untitled
embla Feb 2016
Oh, why did I limit myself to this for so long?
There was nothing keeping me here except my own fears.
Feb 2016 · 334
Untitled
embla Feb 2016
Sometimes, you have to shake your head and say "***** it." Divert your attention to something new and you'll find something precious.
Jan 2016 · 158
Untitled
embla Jan 2016
I've missed this feeling for so long.
Jan 2016 · 227
Untitled
embla Jan 2016
It was worth it.
It was all worth it, I know.
Not a single doubt in my mind now.
Jan 2016 · 656
quote (I)
embla Jan 2016
The devil can cite Scripture for his purpose.
William Shakespeare
Jan 2016 · 187
Untitled
embla Jan 2016
You used to be beautiful to me.
You aren't anymore.
Perhaps it has nothing to do with you.
Maybe it's because I've turned my eyes to seek new kinds of beauty.
Jan 2016 · 190
lyrics (V)
embla Jan 2016
This is going to bring me clarity
This'll take the heart right out of me
If that's what it takes.
"She Is" // The Fray
Jan 2016 · 163
Untitled
embla Jan 2016
"Things change," but ignorance remains a constant.
Jan 2016 · 634
chest pains
embla Jan 2016
i can't touch my temples
without
excruciating pain

i can't draw in a breath
without
pounding pain in my upper chest

i can't pull myself out of a chair
without
my legs feeling weak and jelly-like, unreliable and about to buckle

i can't walk down the hallway
without
everything spinnng, spinning, spinning oh how disoriented i am

i can't lay my head down for more than a second
without
my heavy eyelids forcing themselves shut and my brain cutting off

i can't
focus
concentrate
motivate myself

i can't get through the day
without
exerting every bit of the fragile energy in my body i have that day

every day is a chore
every day i have to push and grapple with symptoms upon symptoms that will not go away and continue to increase in number

each day i collapse on my bed and force back leaking tears
caused by
the constant pain and aches that overrun my body
caused by
the inability to want to do anything other than sleep to rid myself of this neverending fatigue
caused by
the mental fog that just won't lift

i can't stop shaking
from
this constant anxiety

my body is breaking itself down
and i
i am helpless to stop it

i am
i am
i am

i can't
i can't
i can't
Jan 2016 · 132
Untitled
embla Jan 2016
It's hard to believe in someone who's not there. That must explain why I lost faith in you long, long ago.
Jan 2016 · 195
listen up
embla Jan 2016
Leave me to flounder, and I'll leave you in the dust.
Make no mistake about it.
Arrogance costs you.
Jan 2016 · 186
break
embla Jan 2016
I was always warned that boys would break your heart, but no one ever told me that friends can break your heart too.
Jan 2016 · 161
All I've Ever
embla Jan 2016
Yeah, it's all I've ever known, but *it's not all I'll ever have.
Far from it.
Jan 2016 · 155
Untitled
embla Jan 2016
And ***** this, there are better things straight ahead.
Jan 2016 · 614
lyrics (IV)
embla Jan 2016
Out on the verge of the rest of our lives tonight
Top of the world and we're dressed to the nines tonight
Edge of the earth and we're touching the sky tonight
Out on the verge of the rest of our lives
"Verge" // Owl City
I've never felt more alive.
For the people who relit the fire in my soul.
Jan 2016 · 162
Untitled
embla Jan 2016
No, but this outweighs anything you could ever bring to the table.
Jan 2016 · 261
responsible
embla Jan 2016
I am responsible for what I say, not what you understand.
Unsure of what I mean?
ASK.

It's a simple solution, really.
Fairly obvious, if you ask me.
Before you shove your false interpretations of what you believe my words to mean in everyone's faces, why don't you take the time to clarify?

Vincible ignorance. You have the means of acquiring the knowledge and truth behind my statements.
The fact that you don't use those resources is your responsibility.
I hold them in the palm of my hand, in the lobes of my brain, in the words behind my lips that are waiting for release.

You do it to make yourself look better?
You do it to start a fight?
You do it because you don't want to admit that I'm right?
Maybe diverting attention away from the fact will tarnish my name, eh? Bruise up my face?
That what you think?

You're **** right I'm an open book.
I will not hesitate to correct you in front of the world for your seeming inability to understand.
I won't be accountable for you wanting to start a fight from your willing ignorance.
While the general concept behind this is valid, that people take words at face value and will run with them even when they know they don't convey what you really mean, the rest of this was just me pulling random things out of my head. I'm not mad at anyone and nothing like this actually happened. I'm angry about something that didn't happen.
Jan 2016 · 161
lyrics (III)
embla Jan 2016
Right now you got your pride
There's nothing left to learn
Pretty soon the night will fall
So be careful who you burn
"Years From Now" // Rob Thomas
Jan 2016 · 206
lyrics (II)
embla Jan 2016
Watch your mouth
Because your speech is slurred enough
That you just might swallow your tongue
"Nails for Breakfast, Tacks for Snacks" // Panic! at the Disco
embla Jan 2016
Simply shooting the word love from your mouth like gunfire across a battlefield proves nothing. Love is expressed in actions. The word alone is utterly useless and is just another string of letters in the English language. Words have absolutely no meaning until we give one to them through our behavior and animate them by utilizing our human nature and creativity. The feeling of love exists at the core of our very beings - it's natural, and it's what we instinctively long for.
Jan 2016 · 242
deceitful
embla Jan 2016
"False face must hide what the false heart doth know."
Jan 2016 · 327
lyrics (I)
embla Jan 2016
I know that you're waiting
'Cause love is worth saving
But only for so long
So long
*So long
"It Only Hurts" // Default
Jan 2016 · 236
C (II)
embla Jan 2016
I said that I wanted the time back, but that isn't close to the truth.
If this was what it took to bring us together, then it was all worth it.
Every single miserable second of it.
I wouldn't erase a single part of the past.
You, a close confidant, a listening ear, a defender, an inspiration, an understanding companion who takes the time to truly know me, and most importantly, a dear and loyal friend to whom I owe so much.
You're one of the three people who has ever even come close to my core, to my soul.
If I altered the past, if I wiped it from the course of time, there would have been no other circumstances under which we would have come to know each other. Your friendship was worth it all.
You're more like me than I ever would have thought, and you've helped me to balance looking out for myself with looking out for the needs of others, which is something I so desperately needed to learn to do because when you met me, I was beaten down and worn out from constantly defending everyone but myself.
You helped me come to terms with the harsh realities I had been avoiding. You aided me tearing free from the veil of uncertainty and internalized fear that I had been so hesitant to rip away.
You've helped me learn to be comfortable with my own company, to be comfortable with the thought of being alone, although you know there are always those loving souls standing behind you.
You've opened me up to new passions, to new experiences, to new ways of thinking that I never thought I would dare venture out into.
I've, without a doubt, never been truly happier than I am now, and even if you don't realize it, I owe so much of it to you.
Every minute of the hysterically loud laughter we share restores a little bit more of the light that once filled my eyes.
For that, I can never thank you enough.
Jan 2016 · 279
C (I)
embla Jan 2016
I did have to grow up too fast.
I just never realized it until you said it to me.
Jan 2016 · 566
conversing
embla Jan 2016
"It was like every **** second we didn't say 'I love you' was suffocation and letting it out was like finally being able to breathe."
**"I may not understand it all but God do I know the feeling of not being able to stand halfway. It's almost as if nothing is better in a twisted **** way."
Jan 2016 · 169
1/17
embla Jan 2016
and lately i've been missing the infectious energy

— The End —