i read somewhere that
talking about your problems with other people
makes the problems worse
because you're always thinking about it
maybe that's true?

maybe if people just never
talked about their problems with each other
people would be less sad all the time
and more open to positive thoughts
because their mind would never be
on the negative?

a lot of things are a great inspiration to me
so many things catch my eye and make my heart swell
like i've never felt it swell before, feeling as if though
maybe it'll just rip itself right out of my chest
perhaps i'm just too over emotional, because
i'll catch myself tearing up at the littlest thing
that makes me feel like
"****, maybe i can be better than i am
no **** that, i know i can"
or even if it's just a movie about a kid named hiccup
who shows that he's better than all of that ****
to save a friend and show the world that there's more than just this
man, i'll just be a baby in tears, holding myself in a blanket
"thank god there's people like that"
great fictional people, that i admire more than anything
and then other great nonfictional people that do such amazing things
with their amazing words and the power of their voice
never before have i been so inspired
watching youtube videos while i sit on my *** and imagine a better me
in a better place.

i get caught up in the hype and i never push myself to get to where i want to go
and that's the downside of the major inspiration shot
leaving me buzzed for hours so that i can't even catch a wink of sleep
lying in bed staring at the christmas lights that i've hung in the room
strands of the string already dying because christmas joy isn't meant to be left up all year round
where is the joy in the sparkling colours if it's always there to see
the disaster and sadness is a constant need in everyones life
to help push the young dreamer off of the deflating air mattress
stressing to her that this isn't all there is but first things first
is to get out there and remember the old cliche
that if there's no pain there is no gain in the end.

so what if i had an awful childhood
and i drew the short straw and got the dysfunctional family that
has left me with some serious daddy issues that, ****
maybe i won't ever get over
but **** it if i'm going to let it go to me,
and **** it if i dated a boy that didn't give a **** about me
that he gave me a broken heart and stomped all over my feelings
even though i turned around and did the same to another boy down the line
well how about that
it just went full circle,
and i know i'll have those days where it hurts to even get out of bed
but i do it to get where i want to
reaching my hands out for the better day that i know is just around the corner.

We are keen to travel towards
like-minded individuals
and maybe that is our evolution.

Whichever thought process, whose ideas,
conquer the supposed individuals of the world.

I wish not to be categorized
I will express, I wish you too as well
and then, two organisms can be tried
in their natural ability to perceive one another

and the response that coincides,
may comprise something spiritual
leading to the mining of each other's minds
full of crystals, or coal.

Some may swing too hard and crush the precious jewels inside
or maybe scuff the surface, too lightly, and glide right past the treasure
unaware, and unable to return with greater intent.

Remember when you were just a kid
How you would sit on the beach for hours
Waiting for the Sun to finally set
Sleep on the beach
Because you were tired from the day
Remember how you would get chased
By the girls at your Elementary school
Hahah you had good times
Till you found out and could really understand
That the woman who lived in your house
Who always sent you off to school
Who kissed you good night
Who told you she loved you
Remember how you felt
How you grew so angry
Because the truth was that this woman
Wasn't your real biological mother
Your real one abandoned you
She left you at 13 months old
Left in the middle of the day
In *****, soiled diapers
She would pass out from the alcohol
Crash from the high
That the drugs gave her
Leaving you hungry for hours
Waking up when your father came home
Or her drug dealer wanted something in return
Just because she didn't have the money
Remember all of those things
Remember when you met her for the first time
She asked your stepmom
"Who is that? Is that Jr?"
Yeah it was you
Grown up and matured
Remember the thought that passed through your mind
How can she not know who the ******* are
Remember how angry you were
See I know all of this because
Well simply put I am you
I am 17 years of age
I want you to remember the way you were
Because with age comes wisdom
And I have been privelaged enough
To have a good sense of observation
I have become very wise
Well we have become very wise
See I miss those times
When we would ride our skateboard
Or try to blow things up with a firecracker
Hahaha remember those times
Look I don't know if you remember all of this
But if you ever get a chance to read this
Know that I hate us
I hate all of the darkness
I hate every poem I write
I hate everything I think about
Simply because the darkness is towards her
The poems are written for nobody but somebody
And the things I think about
Keep me up well into the late hours of the day
Robert
I hope you get a chance to read this
Because this poem may be the last
You may never get a chance to read this
Because I hate the fact that I have so much pain
So much of useless emotions
And I am tired of dying within words
Written on a piece of paper
I want to embrace death
So hopefully one day you will read this
Even if you come back in a different life
As somebody or somehing else
Just read at least one line of this
So the past doesn't repeat itself
I hope you can forgive me
                                               Sincerly,
                                                     Robert Guerrero

Rest in arms wide with care
Come rest your head
On a pillowed chest
I'll never let any harm come your way
Maybe I am lying
But I will try
Just don't leave me alone
Don't leave me to my demons
The voices in my head
Keep me safe
And let your voice
Drown out these eerie ones
Rest your shoulders
Burden me with your worries
I have more strength than you
I can be your rock
Let me grasp your anchor
Let me be the wind in your sail
Just never let me go

But I think it would be better for you if you did and just forgot me.