summer, spring, winter, fall,
it always carried a whiff of cleanliness, like lysol,
bleach and daffodils had made a not so secret love
child.
there were never any marks. no signs of mistakes,
accidents, humanity.
the floors glistened like the sun beaming off a black
convertible.
the windows, you couldn’t even tell they were
windows. not without the panes.
transparent like the shores of the Mediterranean.
I never touched anything.
I held my breath among glass, ornaments, picture frames.
afraid one intake would show up like a smudge that could
never be wiped off, no matter how much one tried.
she fits the house. like those china dolls, polished to perfection.
blonde hair rolled in unison curls. no frizz. never any
fly aways.
face just like those windows, eyes raging in a storm too far away.


his room was the only one i could sink in.
legos scattered
(i always stepped on the yellow ones)
clothes fuming with dirt and almost manhood.
his posters crooked, carrying characters dressed in
armor, or tuxedos, animated, weapons in hand.
his bed, never made, incasing the last impression of his body
(he always slept on his side)
a spot of drool still visible, blankets holding his scent.
soap, laundry detergent and oranges.
game controllers trashed, bite marks, dents, too many battles.
i finally breathed when i walked in.

i did not shower today,
for i still feel the last few slips of heat
from your throat.
i did not shower today,
for the thought of you squirming
inside, makes me shiver.
i did not shower today,
for your teeth are eating my
collarbone. it looks like a lovely birthmark.
i did not shower today,
for washing you off would be lonely
and idiotic.
i did not shower today,
because i know your scent will be
trapped in my hair
and at some point in the middle of the
night, i will wake up, and forget, that
you are not here.

soft white jewels
descend in slow motion
to the tip of my tongue
as the symphonies of winter
are orchestrated at the
hands of a heavenly composer
I bask
as my unwitting eyelashes
collect the notes

my shadow in  pursuit
an angelic silhouette
steadfast
but not synchronized
hiding by the penumbra
you are everything I once was
a hundredth of a second ago

We sat and talked
Wondering when this dream would end
Going seperate ways
It never occurred to us.
In a matter of time we would be alone.
Like a mustache without a lone gunman,
Completely and utterly alone.

Take me back,
To that one night,
Where we laughed around the fire,
And the stars were bright.
For a split second,
It felt so right.
Before you left the country,
Before the plane took flight.

I wish that I could find a way,
To tell you what I mean to say.
I wish that I could hit replay.
I wish that I could fly away.