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There you are standing in front of me

figment of my imagination in a timeless reverie

Standing there with your glory, so real in flesh

A revelation of a rose unfolding in its bloom so fresh



No expectations just with mere hesitations

I take your recommendation and go with no restrictions

So uncanny of me to be unpredictable and unreasonable

With matters of uncertainty and no veracity



Your words were like pages from my book

And yet I know you and I never convene

Prior to this intimate sit down I found myself

Drinking the sincerity and truth you offered as is



Such delightful creature you are

Disagree and contradict, you might say in differ

Like delightful sweetness I love and savor

Obsessively irresistible, I can’t get enough of



I was surprised, dumbstruck and in denial

of revealing things you said about how read me

You dived and found the locked treasured chest

I threw in the dark abyss in the deepest trench



I am one who believes but stopped in believing

That such wonderful encounter can partake to the likes of me

But you prove me wrong with the glimmer in your eyes

Which I pray is true and just solely for me



As your eyes seemed to memorize and be mesmerized

I look at you and wonder if what I’m seeing is real

Could it be that you truly do understand this riddle

That this sphinx tends to utter in mystery and puzzle



You look at me intensely with warmth and pleasure

A glimmer of amusement dances across your face,

As you look at me from the other side of the table.

Your lips form a smile, and then you call me beautiful.
For you, who once called me an apple.
Yes I am, and this is my stature.
I’ve acknowledged humanity‘s expansion and extention.
The burden of proof is theirs and not on me,
To disprove me or dismay me otherwise.

But I tell you I am.
Regardless of the exterior and superficial ,
Of the mere sight that speculate and perceive.
Try and pierce through the dressings and you’ll see.

Come and remember the bare fundamentals,
Of similarities that binds us as one of a whole.
Like an outcry for silence in a sea of angry voices.
That begs you to feel and listen without prejudice.

When wounded I feel pain, like the likes of many.
When happy I exalt joy, like a child’s cry of glee.
When hurt tears burn behind my eyes,
yearning to be comforted by someone who gives a ****.

I am because I am,
A mind and a heart that pumps the desire to live.
I wake with the same sun and sleep under the same stars.
On the same ground, same air, you and I try to survive.

I am you when I look in the mirror.
I am because what sustains me sustains you.
That when cut will bleed the same color.
So therefore you are the intricate and pure just as I am.
You, me, them, and the rest.
Leave this heart and let it remain in slumber
Let me live in a suspended reverie
I’d rather you leave me be in this standing
In sleep, in silence, this calmness, this serenity


Rest is needed so very badly
The body craves a respite to reset
Elementals had worn me
The tireless got tired and weary


Roaming this earth with endless battles
I’ve felt and seen my unwanted shares
More of the vicious and malicious pain
And so little of the precious benevolence


I struggled to create mine over and over
Like sand castles they crumbled with the waves
Still I continued armed nothing but aspirations
But my last reserve is spent and I have nothing


With a different position I chose to differ and run
I stopped the building and in pieces I chose to leave
With a heavy heart I opt to evolve under the radar
As I sleep and let the changes take over


I’ll wake when my time comes calling
So when you find me I’ll be better
And I can soar even higher
But for now, leave me be in my slumber
Barefoot on a cold pavement of the night
Barely covered, chills and shivers creeps up
Through the soles of my feet reaching the roots of my hair
An unhurried assault of desensitizing numbing.

I am not myself; I am under, under a spell
Under a call that begs me to pursue so I run
Run, under a trance like a mad woman I run
A deafening cry of silence only I can hear.

I searched in desperation and despair
Where, anywhere, somewhere, everywhere
How, where, when, where are you?
My resolve troubled, I listened in the dark.

Shattered in a million pieces and heartbroken
I dropped to knees on the hard pavement
An agonizing cry of a wounded creature
As no answer came for the one that waits.
If you keep trusting,

in anything, anyone

you're gonna end up getting hurt.
At some point you have to give in,

admit you've lost,

and give it up.
Give up,
give in,
stop the fight,
you can't win.

ever.
Please help me find the smiles,
the happiness,
whatever is left of the joy,
and if there’s any love left,
please show it to me.
I know it's bad!

I might edit it later.
A flatness of feeling falls and rests on my shoulders like leaves that
Drop from the maple at summer’s end.
Graceful fatigue.
My hands are limp at my side.
They have no wish to grasp at false strings of hope.
All of the passions of my youth have died.
Now, I only care for truth.

How quickly I have aged.
Only a few years ‘til I reach my expiration date
And all I’ll leave here are a few words on a page.
Words of rage.
And the love of a man that time forbade.

His soul bears the scars of my mutiny.
I am guilty.
But somewhere in his veins,
Somewhere etched in his DNA
Is all of the love I gave.
I did not take it with me.

I heard news of him today.
He has a wife and a summer house on a lake,
And
He’ll be a daddy soon.

Isn’t that beautiful?
What a fitting dénouement.
Containers full of pain and sorrow
And laughter and joy.
Tiny universes held together with skin,
Sitting in a bus station at 3am.

Drooping faces weary with travel.
These are my people,
Though they don't know me.
My family,
Though they don't see me.
I sit alone in the corner and watch them watch their T.V.s
I watch them wait.

I watch the woman across from me.
The picture of middle-aged addiction.
Clinging to her garbage bag belongings
Like a scared child clings to its mothers breast.
As I memorize every line on her face,
Broken teeth and searching eyes,
I realize that she is beauty defined.

Has anyone ever told her?

In that room,
unperceived,
The ineffable resides.
Hidden in the suitcases of crack fiends
And vagabonds.

3am Escanaba to Milwaukee

That's my cue to leave,
I raise my hands to the ceiling and I shout
"Goodbye, you're all beautiful!"
They look at me like I'm crazy.
I don't care.
I am madly in love with their humanity.

I never want to know sanity.
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