I used to think the problem was that I was too strong-minded

now I really realize the problem was that I didn't stand up to you

when you were tearing me down.

For once this is a pure happiness.

For once, please don't ruin it

The warm glow from the windows invites everyone in

as the sun goes down

It makes me feel so angry; if only I hadn't spoken

I fell for someone who didn't love me, now I feel so broken.

I hug myself and refuse the tears, and feel inside so numb.

I fell for someone who didn't love me; how was I so dumb?

I knew he would pick her over me, so why am I still sad?

I fell for someone who didn't love me; thinking I'd be glad.

I collapse onto my bed, hoping my sorrow will disperse.

I fell for someone who didn't love me; could it be a curse?

I swipe at my eyes, not able to stop crying so ceaselessly

I fell for someone who didn't love me; how so easily?

Tears fall down my cheeks; he made my weak heart break.

I fell for someone who didn't love me; that was my mistake.

i don't remember the exact moment
that i fell for someone completely, honestly
out of reach, yet standing right
in front of me.

i don't know why i liked you before.
you were arrogant, unlikeable.
though my feelings were short,
i still fully regret them.

you thought you were "all that"
smart, maybe even a nerd
but you were faking it.
you aren't anything.

nothing but an empty face
full of pretend
now when you speak
i look away.

hope is like a drowning sailor
forever fading, always resurfacing
hope is at battle with unfortunate failure
a dying ember, a spark of song

failure is like a death so slow
suffering endlessly all day long
failure is growing, a merciless foe
a leaping wave on a helpless shore

foes are like a pain within
never fleeting, never quite gone
foes are abundant, and seek to win
they trample you endlessly and sneer in disgust

gone is my pain, that once lurked inside
always hiding, except until now
i have stricken my faults and they no longer hide
a speck of sand, forgotten on the beach

i was young.
frail, i clung
to the ***** hem
of my mother's skirt.

i didn't know it
i couldn't feel it
but i knew
something was wrong.

it started as a
sting, then pounded
through my blood.

then i turned into a chicken.

your love had limits.

your love,
wrapped in warmth,
soft socks,
long sweaters,
tea,
long chapters,
your love,
in degrees.

I fall deep in your love
in time with the seasons.

SPRING
brings
green tea and growth
between
the YOU
and the ME,
SUMMER
shines
and we heat up the sheets,
once used for mere sleep,
my fingers dance up your spin,
you give love to me every time,
but you don't know what you want
I know what I want.
I want you. I want you to be Mine.

and this is the FALL,
burnt orange,
crimson red,
life dying,
leaves falling,
Im constantly calling,
your name in the  littered streets cloaked in decay,
and the leaves their dying,
I am falling ,
over the edge,
over your edge,
down your walls,
I reach for your heart,
hearts beat,
beat.beat.
I listen to your feet pound the earth escaping sunsets, to sunrise,

And I am surprised after every time,
you pass on the Raggedy Ann,
and I boycott the bands you introduced me too,
though the melody already bleeds in me,
I feel the cold of winters fingers,
causing my hold on you to break,
my hold on truth to shatter,
it doesnt seem to matter
you ripped out my organs
and you are gone gone gone.

Hold my hand.
I'm not asking you,
hold my hand.
step back from the ledge you climbed up to,
take a breath,
hold my hand,
move back grab my fingers,
hold tight to my wrists,
grab at my elbows move past them
hug my waist
and i will keep you from falling the very least Ill you help you back up,
and like you,I  too  feel like falling,
late at night,
between the cold sheets and the corner room,
I scratch at the raw parts,
scars that I beg to heal,
I poke at the raw meat and the bruises,
I make believe and etch and sketch all in the same sequence,
but I offer this body,
worn and weathered,
I'll do my very best to shield you from the cold,
step back from the edge love,
I need you to see what you mean to me.